


Absolutely Disastrous

by cresselia8themoon



Category: Milo Murphy's Law, Pocket Monsters: Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire | Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Versions, Pokemon
Genre: Adventure, Assume anyone from MML or Pokemon may show up, Comedy, Gen, I'll Update Tags As Story Progresses, May be characters and concepts from Season 2, ORAS AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresselia8themoon/pseuds/cresselia8themoon
Summary: Milo, Melissa, and Zack travel around the Hoenn region and generally cause chaos wherever they go to friend and foe alike. In addition to their personal goals, they have to contend with rivals and crime syndicates too.





	1. A Ceremony on the Murphy Ranch! Congratulations, Milo and Diogee!

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a new story! I’ve been bombarding you guys with ORAS AU stuff, so I thought the time has come for me to finally write it. I’ve written a few ficlets of these before, mostly focusing on the hilarity that is Cavendish and Dakota being bosses of rival gangs, and there will be some of that in this fic as well. Some things will be taken from the anime, such as how contests and tournaments work. And there’s gonna be plenty of laughs going down too.
> 
> This fic also uses some characters and ideas from Season 2, so if you’re holding off on watching the show you might wanna turn back if you don’t wanna be spoiled!

“Villagers! Hear me out! The volcano shall erupt in three days’ time and destroy everything you hold dear! If you do not wish to perish, then you shall flee with all of your valuables and children! It is not Absol’s nature to lie about such things!” Milo cried out, gesturing to Diogee. The Absol’s tongue lolled at the acknowledgment. Then Milo put on a top hat, forgetting that he was still wearing the ten gallon one. Melissa and Sara broke into giggles at the sight.

“Now listen here, gramps,” he grunted, his voice comically deep. “Volcano there ain’t erupted for years. Not uprootin’ our way of life so some wacko can swoop in and steal everything. Now take your Absol and leave before we mob ya.”

As Milo continued to plead his case to the cardboard cutouts of irritated villagers, the door opened a crack. “Milo! We’re done preparing outside so-“ Brigitte paused, taking in the hastily assembled setup and lighting.

“This is Melissa’s first Mursol ceremony, so I just wanted to explain things in an understandable way since nobody will be able to make out what Grandma and Grandpa are saying when they deliver the speech,” Milo explained.

“Mursol?” Melissa raised an eyebrow. “Sounds more like a Pokémon than the name of a ceremony.”

Sara shrugged. “The Murphy family took a vote in the 30s to give the ceremony an official name. It was either Mursol, Abphy, or the Ceremony Which Officially Commemorates the Bond Between an Absol and a Murphy Before They Go on Their Journey. In hindsight, they weren’t exactly creative.”

“Believe me, I had the same reaction when Martin told me that tidbit too,” Brigitte laughed at the disbelieving look on Melissa’s face. “But the important thing isn’t the name. It’s-“

“Marking the beginning of a new chapter of our lives and a reminder to be helpful and compassionate no matter where we go!” Milo exclaimed. Diogee’s rump wiggled as he tackled Milo to the ground and licked his face. Milo laughed as he pushed Diogee off. “Easy, boy. Anyone would think you were a Poochyena in an Absol’s body.”

Diogee rolled onto his belly, inviting Milo to scratch his snow-white fur. His right leg thumped against the ground, causing Sara to coo over how adorable they were. He’d always been excitable for an Absol, which contrasted heavily against the quiet, mysterious nature of his brethren. Yet Milo thought Diogee was just as loyal and dependable, even when others found his temperament strange.

* * *

While most kids were eager to receive their first Pokémon the moment they turned ten, the traditions of the Murphy family had delayed Sara and Milo’s journeys until they were thirteen. Sheriff Murphy had a great sense of irony. After all, he’d gifted his sons with a partner Absol when they reached the universal unlucky number too. But Sara and Milo didn’t mind. There were plenty of Pokémon on the Murphy Ranch willing to practice with the soon-to-be trainers.

And Melissa practically lived on the ranch as well. Lavaridge Town was an elderly person’s paradise with its hot springs and sand baths, but the only thing that made the town attractive to younger generations was the gym. Since her father was busy with his duties as gym leader and fire chief of the Mt. Chimney Fire Department, Melissa preferred spending her time at the Murphy Ranch, where there would never be a dull moment. Her journey had been delayed too, mostly due to Mr. Chase believing she wasn’t ready for the responsibilities that came with being a trainer.

Milo could understand the parental concern, though he only wished Mr. Chase had seen Melissa handle a young, unruly Numel by threatening to let his mother know about his behavior.

He glanced up to a large, glittering banner that stretched across the ceiling of the patio.

_MURKROW CEREMONY! CONGRATULATIONS MILO AND DIOGEE!_

“Sara, I put you in charge of the banner,” Brigitte said, glancing expectantly at her daughter.

Sara buried her face in her hands. “I so shouldn’t have stayed up watching Dr. Magnezone.”

Despite the spelling error caused by her perpetual procrastination, the banner was still impressive.

A row of plastic chairs had been set up on the grass, padded with additional cushions to make it more comfortable. Several Absol milled around the stage area, greeting each other with respectful bows of the head. Diogee bounded towards them, jumping onto their backs and licking them profusely. Many of the older Absol stiffened at the contact and shook out their fur when Diogee moved on, while the younger pups seemed to enjoy his presence.

While Diogee and two pups chased each other in circles, a third boldly approached Melissa. His fur was untamed and spiky, much the endless frustration of his mother. Grooming sessions were a handful with him because he seemed to like his fur untamed and wild. Even though he only came up to Melissa’s knee, he strode fearlessly towards her.

“Melissa, this is Rowdy. Rowdy, meet Melissa. He hatched a few days ago, so you’re new to him,” Milo explained as Melissa let him sniff her hand. We call him Rowdy cause his fur never wants to be nice and neat.” He pointed to the pups Diogee held down with a paw. “The two over there are Snow and Brave. And their mom is Blizzard, so she’s already familiar with you.”

Melissa pulled back when Rowdy’s horn butted her leg. “Very apt name. Blizzard must have her claws full with those three.”

“Absol moms prefer seclusion when they’re caring for eggs. Blizzard made her den on the far edge of the property, so this is the first time she’s ventured closer to the house since the pups hatched,” Sara added. “I guess she didn’t want to miss the ceremony.”

Brigitte shook her head in sympathy. “She must be on edge right now. If she decides to leave with the pups in the middle, don’t take it personally. The pups venturing out into the world for the first time is tough on any parent.”

Milo scratched his arm, knowing that she wasn’t just talking about the Absol. They’d both cried all afternoon when Sara first set out.

“Cheer up, Mom,” Sara patted Brigitte’s back. “You guys need all the hands you can get for the Absol. And besides, traveling’s not my thing anyway. There’s plenty to do in Mauville.”

Brigitte smiled, wiping a stray tear off her face. “You just want to be somewhere with Internet and Dr. Magnezone-minded peers.”

“Guilty as charged,” Sara grinned.

A sharp whine filled the air, causing everyone to cover their ears to block out the agony.

“Sorry! Just testing the mike!” Martin said, wincing. His own Absol sent him a scathing look. Uncle Joey tried to turn the volume down on the sound system, but the knob broke off.

Milo tossed him a duct tape roll from his backpack, and Uncle Joey started wrapping it around the broken piece.

“Look how much you’ve grown you’re a lot taller than what I remember is that a new sweater vest hello Diogee what a friendly Pokémon!" Grandma and Grandpa greeted, the rest of their sentences unintelligible as they spoke over each other. Martin and Uncle Joey were a lot better at translating their words into English than the rest of them.

“Murphy’s Law giving any of you trouble?” Sara asked their cousin Nate.

Nate blew his floppy cowlick out of his eyes. “For the last time, it skipped a generation. Sometimes vehicles malfunction cause they haven’t been maintained. Don’t read that much into it.”

“Denial’s not just a mythical river,” Melissa whispered.

“So I guess you’ve heard the news from Reggie? His trip to Lumiose went a little south,” Nate continued. “Something about replacing the Mona Florges with a lookalike and nobody’s caught on yet. On top of a citywide blackout caused by him knocking over a powerline while escaping from a flock of very hungry Fletchling.”

“We heard,” Sara replied. “Did he say how he managed the whole Mona Florges thing?”

Nate shrugged. “He didn’t give the details over the phone. Doesn’t want local cops on his tail. Or worse, the International Police.”

Everyone giggled at the mention of the International Police. It was common knowledge that they thought fedoras and trench coats made their agents inconspicuous.

“You’re giving them too much credit, Nate,” Aunt Laura chided. “Their resources are spent on stopping crime syndicates. To varying degrees of success.”

New trainers were statistically more likely to end villainous organizations than grown adults. It was a fact of life.

“Alright! Mike is set up!” Martin exclaimed. “Would everyone take their seats so we can get the Mursol Ceremony underway?”

_“Mmmph! Mmmph!”_

“Ladies, gentlemen, Absol, there will be a quick delay while Grandpa and I cut Uncle Joey from his duct tape prison.”  

* * *

_“Sheriff Murphy pioneered the use of Absol he passed on the knowledge to future generations as a protector from Murphy’s Law and natural disasters alike loyal and trustworthy Pok_ _émon here on the Murphy Ranch live in harmony with nature-“_

The Mursol Ceremony typically opened with a speech from the oldest living Murphy, so nobody ever understood it. Grandpa and Grandma had presided over Martin’s ceremony as well, and he said his Absol had to repeatedly nudge him so he’d stay awake.

Diogee tussled with Rowdy and Brave as the speech continued, and Blizzard growled at them sharply when they began drawing irritated looks from their fellow Absol. Ducking their heads at the reprimand, all three of them laid down submissively.

Ten minutes later, the speech was over. Then Crescent stepped forward. She was the oldest Absol on the Murphy Ranch and Grandpa's partner. Gray-streaked her fur, yet she commanded herself regally. Her eyes landed on Diogee, and she beckoned him forward with a tilt of her head.

Diogee rose, his head bowed as he padded to the stage. Everyone respected Crescent, and even the youngest pups knew better than to cross her. Crescent touched the tip of her horn to Diogee’s for a moment, then pulled back. She retreated to the side of the stage as Martin came up.

“Milo Danger Murphy, please come up to the stage,” Martin said. His Absol, Yin, fixed his piercing red gaze onto Milo.

Brigitte squeezed Milo’s shoulder before giving him an encouraging shove.

This was the moment Milo had been waiting for. He could feel everyone’s eyes, human and Absol alike, burning into his backpack as he walked up the stairs.

“Hang on for a few minutes,” Martin whispered to Milo. “We’ll be dropping the formal stuff in a bit.”

Milo nodded, his hands tightening around the straps of his backpack. Diogee stood by his side obediently, and Milo rested a hand on his back.

“Milo is taking a huge step in his life. Going out into the world is one of the most important things a person can do. They begin as a child, where everything is brand new. And as they gain experience, they learn. They make mistakes, they have successes and failures. Each of these forms a new memory, and nobody who begins a journey is the same person by the end of it. But they won’t ever be alone. Sheriff Murphy knew that, and I’m sure that if he were sitting in this audience, he would be extremely proud of Milo and Diogee. And I am too. I’ve always been proud of Milo. And I’m sure that I’ll explode with pride when I see him as a trainer.”

Martin paused to give Milo a smile, which he returned.

“Milo and Diogee, do you pledge to never give up in the face of adversity, to tackle every challenge wholeheartedly, and to help anyone you come across with compassion and respect?”

Milo had seen the same question posed to Sara at her ceremony, and she didn’t waste time giving her response. He wondered if she’d felt this nervous at such a tall order. He tried doing all those things at the Ranch, but he wasn’t perfect at them. Sometimes life threw wrenches at Plan A, rockslides at Plan B, and dumped Plans C-Z into the rubbish.

But it was okay. Sara always helped him tough it out. Martin and Brigitte encouraged and pointed him in the right direction. Melissa was supportive. And Diogee would always be there to lend a paw.

Milo took a deep breath. “We promise.”

Diogee touched his horn to Yin.  

“Milo and Diogee will be leaving for Littleroot Town tomorrow, the traditional starting point for all Hoenn trainers. They’ll be accompanied by Melissa Chase, who will also begin her journey tomorrow,” Martin said. “Thank you all for coming to see them off. We all wish you the best of luck and safe travels!”

Brigitte folded her arms. “What did we talk about last night?”

“C’mon honey, it’s the thought that counts!” Martin held up his arms defensively, drawing laughter from Uncle Joey and Aunt Laura. “Anyway, there’s a cake with Milo’s name on it!”

“You mean that cake?” Sara asked, pointing to the red frosting that littered the patio. Rowdy, Brave, and Snow licked the chocolate crumbs off their paws, oblivious to everyone’s shock. The ruined cake was splattered on every piece of outdoor furniture. Blizzard turned to face the nearest tree, leaning her head against the trunk as she took a moment to collect herself.

Brigitte laughed. “I know the feeling, Blizzard.”

* * *

Milo and Melissa volunteered to clean up the Absol pups, while everyone else focused on the ruined cake. Most of the Absol had dispersed, leaving a frustrated Blizzard behind. She raved in Pokémon language as her pups were set in a tub and cleaned. Diogee was satisfied as long as Milo occasionally sprayed the hose towards him.

“Is your dad gonna be okay with you leaving?” Milo asked as he rubbed shampoo into Rowdy’s fur. True to his name, the pup didn’t want to sit still. Milo and Melissa were using protective eyewear as a precaution, so they didn't have to worry about shampoo being splashed in their eyes.

“Let’s see. Eat three balanced meals a day, brush teeth, maintain good hygiene, and keep out of trouble,” Melissa said, ticking the points off with her fingers. She was having an easier time with Snow, who was much calmer than his brothers. “That about covers the worried parent stuff. I make no promises about the last one.”

Milo noticed how she wouldn’t look up from the tub though. “Another argument?” 

Melissa gritted her teeth. “He told me to catch small Pokémon like Plusle and Minun. Thinks I’m not responsible enough for anything larger.”

“If it counts, I think bathing Absol pups is responsible,” Milo offered.

Melissa sighed. “You lucked out. At least your parents trust you. Anyway, I’m done with this heart to heart. You excited?”

“And nervous. And happy. All the emotions on the spectrum really,” Milo said. He sprayed Rowdy with the hose, letting the remaining shampoo flow off his untamed coat. Rowdy splashed everyone he could reach, so Blizzard chose to stay out of range. She set up a Protect shield in case any of the water got too close. “What about you?”

“About the same,” Melissa replied. She toweled off Snow with several quick pats, then sent him back to his mother. Brave hopped out of the tub, so Milo scooped up a handful of water and soaked one last smudge of shampoo before toweling him.

Rowdy whined and scrabbled for the edge of the tub, trying to go after his siblings. His efforts tipped the tub over, completely soaking Milo and Melissa’s clothes. Then he scampered off, shaking his fur out and not even bothering to wait for the towel.

“His fur’s gonna dry like that,” Melissa remarked.

“Blizzard won’t let it,” Milo laughed at Rowdy, who was struggling to escape his mother’s grooming. But Blizzard held him down firmly. “Anyway, let’s get into some dry clothes. You wanna spend our last night as non-trainers making up our own dialogue to the fifth Clauncherhunter movie?”

“Is that the one where the clown guy injects himself with Clauncher serum and the pincers are really bad CGI?”

“Yup.”

“Let’s do it.”


	2. Never Forget Your Roots! Onto the Starting Point!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DA! DA! DA! DA! *insert fanfare here*
> 
> You know that fanfare that plays at the beginning of Pokemon movies when they do that whole World of Pokemon speech? Imagine that here. I think it’s appropriate. It’s the perfect song to hype someone up!

Milo yawned all through breakfast. The helicopter would be arriving soon, so he needed to hurry. But it was hard when he hadn’t slept. His brain couldn’t stop coming up with the possibilities and situations he could get into as a trainer.

Murphy’s Law would need to be accounted for. It had taken five different checklists before his parents were satisfied with the items in his backpack. Extra protein bars, bottled water, and medicine for Diogee were necessities.

“Milo! Melissa! The helicopter will be here in ten minutes!” Martin called.

Melissa dumped her cereal bowl in the sink. “Ready to go?” she asked. “I’ve got a few books in my backpack. There’s some basic Pokémon care tips in there. I know you’re practically an expert on Absol, but taking care of a Pokémon like Azurill is gonna be a completely different ballgame.”

“I’m all set,” Milo said, draining his glass of milk. “You got the tips, I got the supplies, between the two of us, nothing can-“

She slapped her hand over his mouth. “Don’t even finish that phrase, Murphy.”

He yawned widely, and Melissa pulled her hand back. “I wasn’t going to lick it,” he said, frowning.

“Nope. I don’t trust you,” Melissa teased.

Milo stuck his tongue out at her as he grabbed his backpack from a nearby chair. 

“Let’s go, Diogee! The helicopter will be here any minute!” Milo exclaimed. Diogee looked up from his food bowl, panting from excitement.

Milo stepped outside, almost tripping over the steps on his way down. Diogee ran ahead, stopping every few feet to make sure Milo and Melissa were following behind him.

In a surprising offer, Richard Chase had volunteered to take them to Littleroot himself. While he was familiar with the Murphy family, he never interacted with them for longer than he needed to. Melissa’s attempts to have him accept an invitation for dinner at the ranch always fell flat. Most of the time, either he or the fire department would stop by to pick up an Absol or two for a rescue mission and return them when their objective was complete. The relationship was strictly business.

“Dad probably just wants the extra time to lecture me about responsibility,” Melissa muttered. “Or worse, how you aren’t safe to be around.”

As if to prove her point, a nearby log caught fire.

Milo put it out with a fire extinguisher, then quickly stomped out any smaller flames. Things spontaneously combusted around him all the time. They were used to it.

But Richard Chase wasn’t.

* * *

 

“Sam will drop by on Wednesday to pick up Blade and Dusk for a training exercise in Lilycove. They’re the best Absol for predicting aftershocks,” Richard said, handing a printed schedule to Brigitte. She stored it in her purse for safekeeping. He didn’t bother looking at Milo, focusing his attention on Brigitte instead. “Do you know if Murphy’s Law will affect us in the air? Damage to equipment of any kind takes a lot of paperwork.”

“It’s possible,” Martin shrugged. “We can’t control the way it works.”

“No worries, Mr. Chase!” Milo exclaimed. “We’ve got Diogee onboard. He can predict when a malfunction is gonna happen.”

“I’d prefer no malfunction to happen, Milo,” Richard said, folding his arms. “So no touching the dashboard, no fiddling with your headset, no getting up from your seat.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Dad, come on! It’s Milo! You’re acting like he’s going to sabotage you!”

“Well, Murphy’s Law seems perfectly capable of sabotaging anyone’s day,” Richard replied.

Sara folded her arms. “Now you’re just blaming my little brother.”

“Sara, shhh,” Brigitte soothed. “We’ll talk in the house later.”

“Don’t forget your pledge. We’re holding you to it,” Martin said, ruffling Milo’s hair.

Milo saluted. “Yes, Dad. I won’t forget. And neither will Diogee! Right?”

Diogee pounced on top of Milo in reply.

“My boy’s going to be a trainer! I’m so proud!” Brigitte sniffed, wrapping Milo and Diogee in a bone-crushing hug. “Bring it in, guys!”

Sara and Martin joined in, Milo staggering under his family’s weight. A few tears leaked out of Brigitte’s eyes, dropping onto Sara’s sleeve below.

“Perfect photo moment, everyone,” Melissa said. She tapped the touchscreen on her phone a few times before putting it away. “I sent it to Sara.”

The next few moments passed by in a blur for Milo. Richard gave them headsets so they wouldn’t be deafened by the helicopter. Diogee was outfitted with a special Absol headset that fit snugly over the base of his horn. Then Richard reviewed basic safety guidelines, pausing several times in his lecture to make sure Milo was paying attention.

Melissa wasn’t too happy about that. “Dad, he won’t do anything that deliberately endangers us!” she protested.

But Richard dismissed her concerns. “Accidents can be fatal. We’ll be going now. Professor Underwood is expecting you.”

Melissa stewed as she climbed into the backseat with Diogee. Diogee laid his head on her lap, sensing her displeasure. There was no better confidant than an Absol. Milo knew from experience.

“Bye, everyone!” Milo called, waving to his family as he buckled himself into the passenger seat in the front.

“Remember, don’t lose your anchor!” Brigitte shouted. “And bathe regularly! Comb your hair! Brush Diogee at least once a week!”

“I’ll remember, Mom!” Milo yelled back over the roar of the helicopter’s blades. Richard flipped a few switches, a sour look on his face as they took off.

Fascinated by the ground shrinking away as the helicopter gained altitude, it took a few moments for Milo to notice Richard’s warnings to stay seated and keep both hands to himself.

“Hands off the window,” Richard advised. “We don’t want a repeat of the Kangaskhan Kid.”

“The Kangaskhan Kid?” Milo asked.

“There was an incident a few years ago in Kanto. Some idiot thought it was a wonderful idea to dangle his toddler in open air from a helicopter,” Richard continued. “The kid survived the fall and was adopted by a herd of wild Kangaskhan. Because the land was designated as a no-capture zone, it took a scuffle with poachers for the authorities to discover him. Thankfully, the parents were prosecuted under charges of child endangerment, flying in a restricted airspace, and flying without a pilot’s license. So if you manage to drop out of the helicopter because you didn’t listen, remember that Kangaskhan aren’t native to Hoenn and you won’t be nearly as lucky.”

“He was a special visitor for parenting classes and had to give everyone a ‘this is why we don’t dangle children from helicopters’ warning,” Melissa added.

“I hate how it needs to be stated,” Richard muttered.

Milo made sure to keep his hands in his lap, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off the lush forests and glittering ponds that looked so small from the sky. He ignored a thump to the back of his seat.

“Guys, I think Diogee is sensing something,” Melissa said. “He keeps pawing at Milo’s seat.”

Milo’s stomach suddenly lurched, and he gripped the seat tightly from the unexpected drop.

“Dad!” Melissa protested, her voice shrill from surprise. “Some warning before you do that!”

Diogee voiced his own complaints.

“Sorry, I was just dropping some altitude in case we needed to make an emergency landing,” Richard admitted.

“Pawing is how Diogee alerts us if he senses something inconvenient, but not life-threatening,” Milo explained. Something cold and sharp poked his leg, and Milo shifted his position. “Just a loose spring, see? If it were something major, Diogee would be a lot more vocal.”

Richard took a quick glance at the loose spring, then refocused on their surroundings. “Absol sense  _natural_ disasters, Milo. Their senses aren’t finely tuned to your discomfort.”

“Absol from the Murphy Ranch are different. They know how to detect Murphy’s Law,” Melissa said, a hard edge in her tone. “They aren’t just from a convenient place to borrow Absol for your job.”

“Watch your tone, young lady,” Richard warned. “I can turn this copter around and take you back to Lavaridge.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Melissa scoffed. “Not with Milo in here.”

Richard pursed his lips, a sure sign that Melissa had won the argument. An uneasy silence fell across the group for the remainder of the flight.

* * *

 

The helicopter rested in a clearing just outside of Littleroot. Milo and Melissa returned their headsets, and Diogee was more than happy to get rid of his. Richard stored them in the proper box, pulling Melissa away for a few minutes so they could talk alone.

Milo used the time to stretch his legs. He'd never been to Littleroot before since the town was too small to be considered a tourist attraction. The air was clean and crisp, free from any particles that tended to drift onto the Murphy Ranch if the wind blew the wrong way. On days where the soot was particularly thick, everyone had to wear face masks outdoors.

“Okay, don’t bite off more than I can chew. I got it already,” Melissa said, crossing her arms. “Don’t you have a challenger or something?”

“I closed the gym so I could see you guys off,” Richard said. He looked at the ground, clearly offended.

Melissa pointed to the helicopter. “And you did. We can handle things from here. We’re not kids anymore. You can go now.”

“You be careful,” Richard said, pausing as he climbed into the pilot’s seat. “No unnecessary risks. And Milo, don’t do anything that puts my daughter in danger.” 

“Yes, Mr. Chase. Fly safely!” Milo said, taking Diogee’s paw and waving it in a goodbye motion.

Once Milo, Melissa, and Diogee were at a safe distance, the helicopter flew off. It disappeared over the canopy, the whirring noise steadily fading away.

“He looked kinda sad,” Milo said. “He does care about you, Melissa.”

Melissa yanked her backpack open, snatching up a small guidebook from its pocket. “Yeah, and it shows. Just drop it, okay?” Melissa muttered, her eyes flitting over a bookmarked page. “Professor Underwood’s lab is to the west. It’s located in the forest because the guy likes to do field research. Apparently, he's a big idol to fishermen."

Milo licked his index finger, holding it up for several seconds as he concentrated on the source of the wind.

“Five mph from the east,” Milo said. “West is that way!”

He started to march off towards a dirt path that led out of town, but Melissa pulled him back. “Actually, west would be that way,” she said, turning his head towards a large sign.

_PROFESSOR UNDERWOOD’S LAB_

_FOLLOW THE ARROWS POSTED_

_AVOID CRAZY SHOE LADY_

“I must be off my game,” Milo shook his head as they followed the marked path. “I think I need to adjust my finger to forest. It was probably on volcano base setting. What did the sign mean by crazy shoe lady?”

_“Wear these running shoes or suffer a terrible curse! Heeheehee!”_

“That’s what the sign meant by crazy shoe lady,” Melissa said, practically dragging Milo through the undergrowth as they tried to avoid the bedraggled woman chasing them. “And for the record, fingers are not compasses!”

_“Buy my shoes, children! My husband was born with glass bones and paper skin and his medical bills ain’t payin’ themselves!”_

Melissa scoffed. “Does she seriously think we’re gonna buy that excuse?”

“Maybe she’s just rationalizing her husband’s medical condition to something she can understand,” Milo suggested, almost stumbling over a tree root. Diogee caught him on his back before he could fall. “Thanks, boy!”

_“I just wanna feed the starving orphans in Boondox! They eat grilled dirt sandwiches! No cheese! Only filthy dirt!”_

Milo wilted under the incredulous look Melissa gave him. “No, you’re right. We should probably lose her.”

They braced themselves for another nonsensical shout, but none came. Milo, Melissa, and Diogee slowed down, catching their breaths against several fallen logs. A building ahead of them shone a pristine white, contrasting heavily from the earthy green and brown of the forest.

“Lab’s in sight,” Melissa said breathlessly. “We’re almost there. Ugh, I need water after this.” She pulled a twig out of her curly hair.

Milo tossed her a water bottle and gave Diogee a drink from his canteen. Then he uncapped his own bottle.

_“WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME SHOES?”_

Milo sprang to his feet, spilling water on his sweater vest in shock. He rubbed his ear to get that horrible croakiness out of his head. Melissa shrieked, grabbing onto Diogee’s neck to steady herself.

The woman’s graying hair was disheveled from running, several crisp leaves embedded into its curls. She peered at them through thick, oversized glasses. If it wasn’t for the woven basket she carried on her back that had parts of shoes poking out, she would’ve looked like any other middle-aged woman.

Milo was somewhat relieved since he'd been expecting a fairytale-like crone.

Before Crazy Shoe Lady could say anything, Diogee tackled her to the ground. He sniffed her basket, dragging out a pair of royal blue sneakers. Then he laid on his back, chewing on the shoelaces contentedly.

“My wares!” the woman wailed.

“Diogee, no! You can’t just go chewing on people’s merchandise!” Milo scolded. “Even if they were chasing us.”

Melissa forced a pleasant smile as she pulled out her wallet. “I’m guessing there’s a you chew it you buy it policy?”

* * *

 

Crazy Shoe Lady turned out to be a tough merchant. Melissa only managed to lower the price by 300 Pokédollars, and she was the best haggler Milo knew.  

“Next time, you better scare ‘em off,” Melissa said as she carefully stored the change into the folds of the wallet. “We’re not making a habit of this, Diogee.”

Diogee moved onto the rubber sole of the left shoe. He gazed up at Melissa with wide, red eyes, cradling the shoe against his chest with his front legs.

He was too cute to be mad at.

Aside from Diogee accidentally startling a pair of Zigzagoon, they followed the rest of the trail to the lab without incident.

“I’ve only seen the starters on TV before today. They’re really rare! We need a good first impression!” Milo exclaimed.

The front door fell off its hinges, drawing bewildered stares from the lab’s occupants.

“It’s a first impression alright,” Melissa said.

One of the lab assistants hurried over to them, wringing his hands as he surveyed the mess. “You delinquents think this is funny, huh?” He jabbed a finger into Milo’s chest.

Milo just smiled at him, and the assistant took a step back. “Sorry about the door. If you want, I can give you the number of our repair guy. He usually does calls in the Mt. Chimney area, but he goes down to southern Hoenn from time to time.”

An older man shouldered the assistant aside, handing Milo a notepad and pencil. “Sorry about Joe. He doesn’t like unexpected interruptions to his work. I’ll take you up on that offer by the way. Name’s Henry. What can I help you kids with?”

“We’re here to get started on our journey,” Melissa explained. “This is Milo, I’m Melissa, and the silly Absol chewing on a sneaker is Diogee.”

Diogee looked up at the sound of his name, then huffed and returned his attention to the sneaker.

Henry nodded. “I remember now. Marcus said we could expect two teens at some point today. I’m afraid you’ve got a little wait ahead. Marcus went out to some field research by the lake. Of course, he probably just snuck off to go fishing. But you’re more than welcome to wait here until he comes back.”

Milo finished writing the repairman’s details and gave the notepad back. “Thanks for the offer. We’ll take it.”

“No objections here,” Melissa said, ushering Milo and Diogee inside when a nearby bush started rustling. “We can wait.”

“You have that alert look. Guessing you ran into Doris?” Henry chuckled.

“I don’t know a Doris,” Milo shrugged.

“Dubbed Crazy Shoe Lady by the younger generation,” Henry said.

Melissa clutched her wallet protectively. “She’s not getting her wrinkly hands on our money again!”

“She chases all the newbie trainers around the Littleroot area,” Henry supplied. “Even the adults from time to time. You’re not the first ones to hide out in the lab.”

The bush rustled again, and Melissa ducked behind Henry for cover. Diogee abandoned the sneaker, taking a ready stance beside Milo.

A dark-skinned boy crawled out of the bush, wincing at a small cut on his shoulder. “Crazy Shoe Lady,” he said. “Had to circle around on the way over. Anyway, Dad’s in trouble. Magikarp. A lot of Magikarp.”

His eyes were wide with panic.

“Milo, Melissa, this is Zack,” Henry said. “Professor Underwood’s son.”  

“Whoa, you’re related to a Pokemon professor? That’s so cool!” Milo exclaimed.

For the first time, Zack noticed the ruined door. “Did Doris finally stage a break-in?”

“No, it broke cause of Murphy’s Law. You know, whatever can go wrong will go wrong,” Melissa said, the familiar explanation rolling off her tongue as easily as breathing.

Zack didn’t look convinced.

Diogee perked up, his limbs tensing as he stared into the distance expectantly.

“Giant boulder,” Milo said, having just enough time to throw a helmet on Melissa and Zack. He grabbed their hands, ignoring Zack’s protests. “Ready to run?”

“I never agreed to this!” Zack yelped as they dashed through the lab. They exited through the back door, the indignant shouts of the assistants fading away. 

Melissa smirked, undeterred by the boulder threatening to flatten them. “Unwritten contract, I’m afraid. So where’s your dad exactly?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of the main trio, Melissa is the one who seems to have the rockiest relationship with her dad. Milo and Martin are close, and Zack and Marcus have their fishing and Halloween traditions. Richard is a fire chief, which is a pretty demanding job, so he’s probably away for long stretches of time and sometimes doesn’t get what Melissa wants. For instance, he’s made several disparaging remarks to Milo within earshot of Melissa. And then you have that whole mentorship business where he thinks Melissa isn’t feminine enough.
> 
> The Kangaskhan Kid story was taken from an episode of the original series of Pokemon. The main part I changed was the parents getting prosecuted, because in the episode they went to live in the wild with their son and the herd of Kangaskhan. Look up the Pokesins: Kangaskhan Kid video on Youtube. It will point out everything wrong with this story.
> 
> Pokédollars are the currency used in the games. The scale is based off the Japanese Yen.
> 
> I know Absol are supposed to be stoic, but I wanted to keep Diogee’s dog traits intact XD
> 
> There’s gonna be references scattered throughout the fic, whether to MML, PnF, Pokemon, or other media.


	3. Strength in Numbers! Rescue Professor Underwood!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, is that a reader’s tears I hear? Sounds to me, loud and clear! On the web, through text, in your ear! Breaking hearts at breakneck pace! Dashing happiness, putting angst in its place! A rose by any other name still has its thorns! When everything’s worse you’ll have no time to mourn! Jessie! James! Meowth’s the name! Putting readers in their place! We’re Team Rocket, and we’re in your face!

The boulder apparently had a homing system, because it wouldn’t stop chasing them even though they’d tried backtracking, circling, and making zigzags to lose it.

“Does this happen often?” Zack yelled. A shoelace from the sneakers Diogee carried came loose and wrapped itself around Milo and Zack’s ankles.

“Someone getting attached to me by shoelace? Not really,” Milo replied. “I use slip-ons. Less hassle that way. Did you know the plastic tip at the end is called an aglet? I learned it from Aglet Awareness Day!”

Zack’s eyes only grew wider, and Milo worried they’d just pop out of his head if he kept it up. “How are you people so calm about this? We’re gonna get pancaked here!”

Melissa shrugged. “You act like this is your first time being chased by a runaway boulder.”

“That’s because it IS my first time!”

“To be fair, this area’s a forest,” Milo said. “When you live at the base of a volcano, you learn to dodge falling Geodude and Graveler pretty early on.”

“You live around a volcano?” Zack asked.

“Don’t worry. Mt. Chimney’s last eruption took a sizable chunk out of it. It really just spews ash nowadays.”

“Yeah, because that’s reassuring.”

“Alright, boys! Act like you just won a three-legged race!” Melissa aimed her phone at Milo and Zack. While Milo pumped his fist in the air, Zack kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure the boulder wasn’t looming over them. The shutter went off several times.

Melissa flicked through her pictures, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “This looks more like you’re paranoid over something trying to kill you.”

Zack glared at her. “Do you really want me to point out the obvious?”

Running with his leg tied to someone else’s was getting exhausting. Zack had never been in this type of situation before, and Milo was feeling somewhat guilty for dragging him along. The boulder was about twenty feet behind them, gaining speed as it rolled down a steep incline.

Thinking fast, Milo noticed a lone sneaker in Diogee’s mouth. The laces were still intact.

“Diogee, sneaker now!” Milo ordered.

Diogee dropped the shoe into his hand. Milo freed the laces from the holes, adding a rope from his backpack for extra length. Once the makeshift lasso was complete, he twirled it above his head.

“Hold on, everyone!” Milo shouted, taking aim at a thick branch just ahead of them. Melissa and Zack latched onto Milo’s sides, while Diogee sprang onto his back. The sneaker wrapped itself around the branch, the momentum carrying the group upward.

The boulder passed underneath them. It plowed into a cliff’s side, becoming nothing more than rubble.

Now that the danger had passed, Milo became aware of a high-pitched shriek in his ears.

Melissa punched Zack in the arm. “Boulder’s gone. Stop screaming.”

“You don’t wanna blow out your larynx,” Milo added.

Zack inhaled, though he kept his eyes squeezed shut. “Just get us down from here. We need to help Dad.”

* * *

 

Zack knew the forest better than Milo and Melissa. Now that they weren’t being pursued by Crazy Shoe Lady or a killer boulder, they had a better appreciation of the verdant scenery around them. Bug and Flying types soared overhead, while Zigzagoon enjoyed the abundant berry bushes below.

“My mom and I moved from Olivine City in Johto so we could be closer to Dad’s work,” Zack explained. “Mom prefers to work in the city, and Dad prefers the natural habitats. She’s a Pokémon Doctor, so she travels around the region as needed.”

“So you’re a city boy out in Hoenn country. No wonder you freaked at a tiny boulder,” Melissa smirked.

Zack folded his arms. “First, that boulder was not tiny. Second, I can handle both city and country just fine. And Littleroot isn’t that far from other cities.”

“You should see Murphy Ranch sometime,” Milo suggested. “That’s where I’m from. My family raises Absol.”

“So your family gave you Diogee?” Zack asked. “Dad told me Absol were rare.”

Milo shook his head. “They didn’t give him to me. A Murphy and Absol bond at a young age and we take the one we're closest to on our Pokémon journey. But you’re right about Absol being rare. Wild Absol were nearly hunted to extinction in Sheriff Murphy’s time, and the surviving ones retreated into mountainous regions where humans aren’t likely to go.”

“Milo’s practically an Absol connoisseur,” Melissa said. “Just ask him if you want to know anything.”

“Alright. I’ll test it out,” Zack grinned, turning to Milo. “How big can Absol grow and what’s the largest on record?”

“Absol’s average height is 3’11, give or take a few inches. Diogee is on the smaller end of the scale,” Milo said. “The largest Absol on record was 5’2, owned by a man named Jeremiah Black. An old Kalosian king is rumored to have one bigger than that, but the debate on that claim is still ongoing.”

“Told ya,” Melissa said, punching Zack’s arm again.  

Zack rubbed his shoulder, moving to Milo’s left so he wasn’t next to Melissa. “Does she always do that?”

“It’s how she shows her affection,” Milo replied. “That was her friendship punch.”

“I got plenty of ‘em,” Melissa bragged, blowing on her knuckles for good measure.

* * *

 

Magikarp were everywhere. Some arched high above the lake’s surface in not-so-graceful Splash attacks, while others were content to remain submerged. Zack pointed to a small rowboat in the middle of the lake.

“My dad took his rowboat out. I, uh, kinda have a fear of Magikarp and some other Water Pokémon so I stayed over there,” Zack said, gesturing to a nearby picnic table. “I was writing songs, Dad was fishing. Then the Magikarp started acting up. I didn’t have a way of getting to Dad, so I ran back to the lab for help. Guess things haven’t calmed down yet.”

Diogee paced around the shore, occasionally stopping and pawing at the water. A Magikarp sprang up and smacked him in the face with a tail. Diogee growled and made a grab for it.

“This isn’t natural. There has to be a cause somewhere,” Melissa said.  

“Like over there?” Milo asked. He pointed to a man who maniacally laughed as a group of Magikarp splashed around him. His blue and white striped shirt reminded Milo of cheap pirate outfits in the costume store, though he didn’t recognize the strange logo on the man’s black bandana.

“SWIM! SWIM, ME HEARTIES! SHOW THEM LANDLUBBERS WHO THE REAL SCOURGES OF THE HIGH SEAS BE!”

“Well, that was easy,” Melissa shrugged.

The man obviously suffered from a lack of spatial awareness. Somehow he hadn’t noticed a group of teens standing fifteen feet away.

Milo was prepared to challenge the wannabe pirate to a Pokémon battle. But Zack shook his head, motioning for the group to follow him behind a thick oak tree. He picked up a thick, leafy branch and tossed it aside, revealing a large duffel bag.

“Is Diogee the only Pokémon you two have?” Zack asked.

“Afraid so,” Melissa admitted. “My dad never let me own one. Believed I wasn’t responsible enough.”

Zack unzipped the bag. Three Poké Balls laid inside. “These balls contain the starters of Hoenn. Dad was going to let them out for exercise once he was done fishing, but now there’s a Magikarp debacle and he can’t get to shore. There’s too many Magikarp for Diogee to handle alone. I know they’re supposed to be reserved for new trainers, but in this situation, we don't have much of a choice."

He grabbed the ball marked with a leaf sticker.

“I’m putting myself at a disadvantage here, so I’m counting on you guys,” Melissa said. She took the ball with a flame sticker.

The remaining ball was covered in raindrop stickers. Before Milo could touch it, the ball opened on its own. Seconds later, Milo felt something chewing on his hair.

“Right, Mudkip kinda does that,” Zack laughed. “Forgot to mention it.”

Milo carefully tugged his cowlick out of Mudkip’s mouth. “Sorry, we’re kinda in a hurry right now.”

Mudkip whimpered, pawing at Milo’s face as it tried to get to his hair. Diogee growled sternly, and Mudkip settled down.

“Alright, I’ve got a plan,” Melissa declared. “Milo, you confront the pirate guy. Zack and I will knock out the Magikarp and clear a path so Professor Underwood can come to shore. Capiche?”

“Capiche!” Milo and Zack agreed. Mudkip cheered, jumping from excitement. Diogee nudged him away with his back leg.

The group split up. Melissa and Zack headed for the docks, figuring it would put them out of range from Murphy’s Law.

“We’re gonna have to work together to defeat this costumed clown,” Milo said, pacing back and forth in front of Diogee and Mudkip. Diogee sat up straight, taking in every word. But Mudkip seemed more interested in Diogee’s claws than Milo. Diogee huffed and removed his paw from Mudkip’s mouth. “Mudkip, we’ve only known each other for ten minutes, but I need you to listen in battle. You know Water Gun, right?”

Mudkip opened his mouth, firing a Water Gun at Diogee. Milo quickly jumped in front of him, opening an umbrella to shield them from the sudden torrent.

“Okay, that’s a yes,” Milo said. He tossed the umbrella aside. “But next time, say it. Don’t spray it.”

The light scolding didn’t deter Mudkip in the slightest. Diogee growled again.

“And Diogee, you’re working with Mudkip for the time being. Be nice,” Milo added.

Diogee stuck a front leg out, holding it towards Mudkip. Mudkip licked his claws, and Diogee quickly pulled back.

“Good enough,” Milo said. “Let’s get on with the confronting!”

* * *

 

“Argh, if anyone be callin’ ye weak again, they be walkin’ the plank!” the pirate exclaimed, cackling as he waded in the shallow water. Several Magikarp followed him around, occasionally pausing to nibble at the Pokémon food he tossed at them.

“Excuse me!” Milo called, stepping out from behind the large tree. “Did you have something to do with these Magikarp acting up? Cause there’s a guy trapped in the middle of the lake and he’s my friend’s dad and we kinda need to get him to shore-“

“I only be releasin’ Magikarp into their natural habitat,” the pirate sneered. “So get, ye knave.”

Suspecting that he wouldn’t be getting anywhere with his current approach, Milo decided to switch tactics. “My name’s Milo Murphy. This is my partner Diogee. And Mudkip is…Mudkip, stop chewing on that Magikarp’s whiskers and get over here!”

Mudkip sauntered back to Milo, trying to chew on his shoes. Milo was just glad he didn’t have laces.

“Yer scurvy Mudkip has soiled me treasure. Ye shall pay for this insolence. Ye, nay, the world shall know the wrath of Patchy! Into battle, me hearties!”

“Diogee! Mudkip! Let’s go!” Milo shouted. Diogee lowered his horn, ready for action. But Mudkip continued to gnaw on the front of Milo’s shoes. Milo picked him up, turning him so he faced Patchy and the Magikarp.

“Argh, how can ye be a trainer if yer gilly friend there don’t listen to ye?” Patchy laughed. “Magikarp, keelhaul ‘em!”

A horde of Magikarp swarmed Diogee and Mudkip, splashing them with their fins and tackling every part of their body. They swept Diogee’s paws out from under him, and for every Magikarp taken out with a Cut attack, three more took their place. Mudkip fired Water Gun at oncoming Magikarp, twisting and tackling anything that came near him. Even Diogee wasn’t spared from Mudkip’s pummeling.

“Mudkip! Focus your attacks!” Milo called. But Mudkip was half-submerged and couldn’t hear his directions. “Diogee, there’s too many for you to handle with close range moves! Try a Razor Wind!”

Diogee’s horn glowed as he reared back, pressure building in the air behind his head. Then he released several sharp blades of energy. The blades connected with five Magikarp, and they sunk beneath the water in defeat. But their brethren replaced them just as quickly.

“See ye, knave!” Patchy crowed. “I be takin’ me leave!”

Patchy fled, a school of Magikarp trailing behind him in search of more handouts.

“Hey!” Milo shouted. “I’m not done battling you! Get back here!”

A flailing Magikarp slammed into Milo, knocking him onto his back. Diogee growled, placing himself in front of Milo as he caught his breath.

“We need to go after Patchy,” Milo said, using Diogee’s back to steady himself. “He’s heading for the docks. Hope Melissa and Zack are doing okay.”

* * *

 

“We’re not doing okay!” Melissa shouted. Milo winced at the sound of splintering wood. “Zack won’t come anywhere near the docks and Treecko and Torchic aren’t used to working together!”

“Melissa, the guy we saw earlier is heading towards you! Don’t let him get away!” Milo said. “Sorry, we couldn’t stop him in time. His name is Patchy and-“

“Stick to Ember so you don’t fall in!” Melissa ordered. “Sorry, you said his name is Patchy?”

“That’s right,” Milo confirmed.

He could practically hear Melissa’s smirk. “How convenient. There just so happens to be a boat with Patchy’s name on it here. Treecko, I want you to cover Torchic. Torchic, use Ember on the boat next to us.”

“Is Professor Underwood closer to the shore?” Milo asked.

“He’s closer, but there’s an entire wall of Magikarp out there and I don’t think he’s gonna be able to break through,” Melissa said. “Okay, boat’s destroyed. Won’t be as easy for Patchy to escape via water.”

“I’ll be there in a bit,” Milo promised. He slipped his phone halfway into his backpack before it fell out of his hand and dropped into the water. Sparks flew out from the casing, and Milo knew it couldn’t be salvaged. “Aw, man. That was the third one this week!”

Mudkip panted as he tried to keep up with Milo and Diogee, but he keeled over just as the docks were in sight. Milo scooped him up. “You were great out there, Mudkip,” he said. “You earned a rest.”

Mudkip smiled tiredly as he returned to his Poké Ball.

“Can you keep going, Diogee?” Milo asked.

Diogee nodded, brushing up against Milo’s side. His fur dripped water onto Milo’s sweater vest.

“Easy boy, you’re all wet,” Milo laughed. “Come on, we’d better go help Melissa and Zack.”

Up ahead, a thin trail of smoke rose into the air. Milo and Diogee followed it until they reached the docks, where Patchy was trying and failing to hitch a rope to a team of Magikarp.

“Aye, work with me!” Patchy grumbled.

He didn’t seem to consider fleeing into the forest at all.

Milo high-fived Melissa, and together they watched the remains of a small rowboat burn away. Torchic ruffled her feathers proudly, while Treecko fingered the twig in his mouth.

“Pirate down. Now we need to break up those Magikarp,” Melissa said, pointing to the wall of fish Pokémon that surrounded Professor Underwood’s boat. “And coax Zack out of hiding too. Apparently, he had some traumatic childhood incident with Magikarp. AND TREECKO HAS TO BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU WHEN YOU’RE COMMANDING HIM!”

She raised her voice, glaring at a berry bush that Zack wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding in.

Zack popped out of the bush, nervously glancing at the Magikarp. “They’re not natural. The gills, the mouth flaps, the vacant stare that lulls people into a false sense of security….”

“Ignore him,” Patchy spoke up, surprising everyone. “Magikarp be hurtin’ nobody, right me hearties?”

A Magikarp smacked him in the face with its tail, and Patchy toppled over. The rope he was using wrapped around his ankles and wrists, binding them tightly. Milo and Diogee dragged a stunned Patchy onto the bank.

“I rest my case,” Zack said.

A waterspout shot out from underneath the lake, dislodging the Magikarp that prevented Professor Underwood from reaching the docks. Then something large and blue shot out of the lake, stretching far above the treetops. Everyone covered their ears as it let out a deafening roar, the sound wave alone threatening to knock them off their feet.

The Magikarp settled down, quietly sinking beneath the surface. Their orange scales shimmered, and within minutes there was no trace of them.

The Pokémon turned, its violet eyes scrutinizing them closely. Zack waved at it. “Hey, Gyarados! Thanks for the help!” he exclaimed.

Milo and Melissa could only stare as Zack stroked the Gyarados’ whiskers. Gyarados rested its head on the docks, growling in contentment.

A few seconds passed before Melissa found her voice. “Wait, so you freak at Magikarp, but you aren’t intimidated by Gyarados?” she asked.

Zack shrugged. “Only when they’re rampaging. Gyarados is pretty cool most of the time though. Why? Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

He smirked in triumph.

Melissa folded her arms. “I’m not scared! I was just concerned! Don’t read too much into this, Zachary Scaredy-Skitty Underwood.”

Her proximity to the forest said otherwise.

“Gyarados, would you mind pushing my dad back to shore? He kinda got stuck out there,” Zack said.

Gyarados nodded, giving Zack one last nuzzle before swimming to Professor Underwood’s boat. It flicked its tail several times, creating small waves that gently pushed him to the docks.

“Dad, are you okay?” Zack asked as Professor Underwood tied his boat to a post. The boat had a few scratches from the Magikarp smacking into it, but it still functioned perfectly.

“Don’t worry, son. I’m fine. You and your friends really saved the day,” Professor Underwood chuckled. “And I take it this is the guy who caused all the trouble.”

“I only be providin’ homes for water-dwellin’ Pokémon. Tis not a crime,” Patchy retorted.

Professor Underwood glared at him. “Yet you disrupted the balance of the forest. The lake can’t sustain this many Magikarp. Too much competition. We’ll have our hands full relocating them to other habitats. And there’s the question of how you got all those Magikarp here in the first place. But I think that would be best reserved for police work. I'll give Officer Elliot a call when we get back to the lab.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Cherry on the cake. We get to deal with Elliot.”

“He was our crossing guard in school,” Milo offered. “He always lets us know when the ice cream shop was having a special!”

“Yeah, but not before shoving his stop sign in your face,” Melissa muttered.

Professor Underwood cleared his throat. “Right. As much as I’d love to stay, I gotta get back to the lab. The starter Pokémon need to be prepared for tomorrow. I’m expecting new trainers.”

“Uh, Dad? These are the trainers you were expecting,” Zack gestured to Milo and Melissa. “You were supposed to register them today.”

“Oops, forgot about that. My bad,” Professor Underwood said. “And I guess you used the starters and your Absol to deal with the Magikarp?”

“That’s right!” Milo exclaimed. “And they were all pretty awesome too. I had to put Mudkip in his Poké Ball cause he got tired, but they all did really well even though they were outnumbered.”

He tussled the fur on Diogee’s neck. Diogee stood up straighter at the praise.  

Professor Underwood smiled. “You three have just made my job a lot easier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while to write, I admit.
> 
> Poor Zack. Get used to it kid, you’re a main character in this story.
> 
> Melissa and Zack banter is fun.
> 
> Zack has the opposite problem to Misty in the original series. Misty was afraid of Gyarados because she crawled into one’s mouth as a baby. She didn’t overcome her fear until after she returned to her post as gym leader, and then in Sun and Moon turns out she can Mega Evolve it. You go girl.


	4. Budding Friendships! Let’s Do Our Best, Everyone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My New Year’s resolution is to be able to sing the entire Pokerap.

“Are you insane?” Joe yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Milo. “This kid and his accomplice broke down your door, which is expensive mahogany in case you forgot, and put a hole through the back of the lab! Yet you think letting these starters go to the would-be thieves would be our best course of action?”

Henry rolled his eyes at Joe’s tirade. “Don’t worry about anything, kids. I ordered a new door during Marcus’ impromptu fishing trip, and the wall can easily be fixed. And Joe, your ramen is burning.”

A cloud of smoke billowed out from the microwave.

“My ramen!” Joe shrieked, shoving several of his co-workers aside in his mad rush to the appliance.

“Thank you, Henry,” Professor Underwood said gratefully. “Would you mind calling Officer Elliot? I’ve got a pirate who needs booking.”

Henry went into another room to place the call. Another assistant took a restrained Patchy to an unused storage room.

“Dad, is it okay if I go with them?” Zack blurted out.

The room fell silent, all activity ceasing as the assistants stared at him.  

Zack coughed, scuffing the ground with his shoe. “I just thought I could…no, you know what? Forget I said anything. It’s dumb.”

“Go with who?” Professor Underwood asked. His tone was neutral, though Milo noticed the corners of his mouth twitching up.

Zack laughed mirthlessly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “For a second there, I was thinking of journeying with Milo and Melissa. I mean, I cowered at one of the weakest Pokémon in existence. I don’t think I’d make a good trainer at all.”

“Are you kidding?” Milo exclaimed, grabbing Zack’s shoulders. Zack’s eyebrows flew up at the sudden contact. “You came up with the idea of using the starters! You trusted us with them even though we’re not officially trainers! Sure, we probably broke a few rules, but we managed to rescue your dad and stop a pirate’s evil…well, I’m not sure if I can call it evil, maybe ignorant would be a better word…plot. And you’re friends with a wild Gyarados! That’s really amazing!”

Diogee tackled them to the floor, nuzzling their faces. Milo laughed, while Zack glanced warily at the curved horn on his right.

“Diogee approves,” Melissa said. “So I guess you’re with us. Hopefully we can help get your Magikarp phobia under control when we start sea traveling.”  

“Sea traveling?” Zack said, looking apprehensive at the mere thought of it.

Professor Underwood nodded. “Eastern Hoenn is almost entirely ocean. League challengers typically save the gyms in that area for last since it can be pretty rough out there. A strong Water type would make things much easier, I’m sure.”

“Is it okay to go if I don’t know what I want yet?” Zack asked. “I’ve seen the trainers who come in. They always seem to know what they’re doing.”

“It seems that way,” Professor Underwood agreed. “Yet their goals are also lofty and unspecific. They aim for titles like Pokémon Master and Top Coordinator, but they never account for the little things that will help them achieve it. In a way, not knowing your goal gives you an advantage.”

“It’s okay, Zack,” Milo said. “I’m just doing the gym challenge for fun, but I also want to try a little of everything. I don’t really have any ultimate dream in mind either.”

Melissa held up her phone. “My goal is to document everything. From the Pokémon we see to our experiences on the road. And especially relating to Murphy’s Law. Then I’ll sell our story to a publisher and collect on royalties. But if anyone ever wants to make a movie or TV series based on our adventures, they’ll need our input first. And if anyone tries to make me a blonde, I will personally set a Ninetales’ Curse on them.”

Zack lifted his head, making eye contact with Professor Underwood. His jaw was set in determination. “Yes, I want to go on a Pokémon journey.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear!” Professor Underwood clapped his son’s shoulder. “Like I said on the way back, I’ll give you the starters you used at the lake. You’ve more than earned them. They’re all excellent Pokémon, and I’m sure they’ll flourish under your care. Learn and grow together. That’s the mark of a good trainer. Now that we aren’t in a crisis, why don’t you introduce yourselves to your new teammates? And in the meantime, I’ll prepare the things you’ll need for the road.”

Professor Underwood disappeared into his office.

Treecko, Torchic, and Mudkip were let out of their Poké Balls. Since they were still exhausted from fending off the Magikarp, Zack gave them several Oran Berries to restore their energy.

“Littleroot doesn’t have its own Pokémon Center, but my mom is home today,” Zack said, forking over another Oran Berry when Torchic started pestering him for more. “I think we should get our Pokémon looked at before we do any serious battling with them. And besides, I need to let her know that I’m going on a journey and you guys need to rest. She won’t mind you staying the night.”

“Sounds great!” Milo exclaimed. “Zack, your family is pretty amazing.”

Zack smiled sheepishly. “Let’s hear you say that after you meet my younger brothers.”

“I guarantee that no matter how annoying you think your brothers are, Milo will still find your family cool,” Melissa promised. “Besides, Professor Underwood gave you a Treecko the moment you decided to journey with us. My dad still thinks I’m not responsible enough for my own Pokémon.”

“If it helps, you took charge of Treecko and managed to keep Torchic out of the lake,” Zack said. “That’s plenty responsible in my book.”

Melissa grinned. “Would you call my dad and tell him that?”

“Better than call. We’ll vouch for you in person,” Milo said. “I’ll have to face him in a gym battle anyway, so we can do it then! You hear that, Mudkip? You’re coming with us!”

Mudkip swallowed the last of his Oran Berry. Then he jumped into Milo’s arms and gnawed on his sleeve. Diogee huffed and turned his back on them.

Jealousy would be an issue, Milo realized. If he caught more Pokémon, Diogee would need to learn to work alongside them as a team.

And Mudkip’s chewing habit would need to be addressed too. He made a mental note to search the Poké Mart for toys that could withstand a Mudkip’s strength.

“Dad’s got strategies for dealing with Water Pokémon,” Melissa warned. “You’re not KO’ing everything that easily.”

“Wouldn’t be a gym battle if it wasn’t challenging!” Milo exclaimed.

“That’s the spirit!” Melissa declared as she turned to Torchic. “Okay. You’re going to be my extra set of eyes.”

Torchic pecked her shoes.

“At least you’re not wearing sandals,” Zack quipped.

Melissa sighed, giving Torchic another Oran Berry to distract her. “We’ll work on this whole partner thing.”

“So, partners?” Zack asked, kneeling in front of Treecko. “I’m not sure what our goal is gonna be yet, but we can find out together, okay?”

Treecko held out a fist, and Zack bumped it with his own.

“Alright, I’ve got everything you need here,” Professor Underwood said, walking back into the room. He set a box on the floor. There were three high tech devices and a pile of Poké Balls inside. “Each new trainer also begins with a Pokédex and five Poké Balls. You’ll need the dex to register for the gym challenge, so don’t lose it.”

“Finally!” Melissa exclaimed. She booted up her pink Pokédex, which was almost indistinguishable from a regular smartphone.

 _“Welcome, new trainer,”_ a female computerized voice intoned. “ _Please enter your full name, age, and hometown_.”

“You boys do the same,” Professor Underwood instructed. “You’ll need your names on the database before you can take part in official battles and other competitions.”

A binary code flew across the screen of Milo’s Pokédex. “ _Welcome, amateur_ ,” a male voice said. “ _Don’t enter your childhood nickname, the day of your inevitable demise, and whether or not you like pineapples on your pizza_.”

Professor Underwood frowned. “That’s odd. Pokédexes are generally more…reliable. Unfortunately, these are the only ones I have right now. I’d have to order another from Silph Co., and by the time it arrives you’d be well into your travels.” 

“Don’t worry, Professor,” Milo said as he entered his information into the device. “I can handle this one.”

“If you’re sure,” Professor Underwood shrugged.

Milo decided to give his Pokédex a test run, pointing it at Diogee.

_“Absol, the Disaster Pokémon. There was a hiker who had an Absol and Absol was its name-o. A-B-S-O-L. A-B-S-O-L. A-B-S-O-L. And Absol was its name-o!”_

Diogee tilted his head in confusion.

Professor Underwood coughed. “Let’s pretend we didn’t hear that. Why don’t you look at those Poké Balls? Standard model, but they get the job done.”

Milo stored the Pokédex in his backpack.

“Diogee, catch!” Milo shouted, pitching the ball at him. Diogee swung his head, and the ball was cleaved in two. The red half flew into the pipes near the ceiling, and a geyser of water splashed onto a bike parked next to the entrance. The white half slammed into a bundle of wires, which wrapped around the handlebars. Several currents of electricity flowed through the metallic surface, sparks flying as the smell of charred bike filled the air.

“My bike!” Zack shrieked. He latched onto Milo’s shoulders, giving him a firm shake. “I brought that Goldenrod Racer over from Johto! Do you have any idea what preteens did to get their hands on one of those things?”

“We can get you a replacement in Mauville. Rydel’s Cycles is the best bike shop in Hoenn,” Melissa suggested.

“Sorry,” Milo said. “I’ll only throw Poké Balls outside from now on.”

Zack released him. “I forgive you, but we’re visiting that bike shop in Mauville. You guys owe me.”

“Deal,” Milo agreed, shaking hands with Zack.

“AHA! CAUGHT RIGHT IN THE ACT!”

Milo smiled as Officer Elliot marched up to him. The bright orange safety vest over his navy police uniform clashed horribly.

“Stop, _Milo_ ,” Elliot drawled, waving his stop sign in Milo’s face. “I don’t know what wonton mayhem you’ve nefariously plotted, but I will stop you once and for all.”

Melissa quickly stepped in, shoving Elliot away from Milo. “There’s a guy who talks like a pirate in the storage room. You’re taking him to the station. Not Milo.”

Elliot adjusted his shades, straightening up as he tried to look authoritative. “And you. Don’t think I’ve forgotten your involvement at the Decker family reunion.”

“Camerupt Incident disrupted your festivities, I remember,” Melissa said dismissively. “We helped you guys clean up though.”

“You destroyed the cake!”

“That was your Granny’s fruitcake, and fruitcake can’t be destroyed through everyday means of disposal,” Melissa said coolly. “It’s probably intact in the river if Water types haven’t already eaten it.”

“You also destroyed this poor boy’s bike. In front of witnesses too. Getting real sloppy, Murphy,” Elliot growled.

Zack folded his arms. “He apologized. It’s fine.”

“Apologies don’t make up for reckless destruction of other people’s property,” Elliot scoffed.

“Officer, I called you to take away a man who almost destroyed the local ecosystem. Not antagonize new trainers who’ve already been through a lot today,” Professor Underwood said. “He’s tied up in the storage room.”

Elliot huffed. “Fine. But this isn’t over. If you don’t stop causing trouble….”

He left the threat hanging as he made the universal “I’ve got my eye on you” gesture all the way to the storage room.

“Watch out for the-“ an assistant shouted as Elliot backed up to a puddle of oil.

“GAHHH!”

“-mess. You want a towel for your stop sign?”

Melissa rolled her eyes at his incompetence. “As annoying as Littleroot Elliot is, he’s got nothing on the Lavaridge Elliot. He tried to arrest Milo for eating a peanut butter sandwich on a wooden bench once.”

“They must be low on funds,” Zack mused.

Outside, a wagon painted like a police car was attached to Elliot’s bike. The words ‘LITROT LICE DEPAMEN’ were printed on the side. Many of the letters were faded and illegible.

“A slight understatement,” Milo said.

“You’re way too generous,” Melissa muttered.

Patchy emerged from the storage room, his cuffed hands held out in front of him. 

“Ye shall rue the day ye crossed me!” Patchy crowed.  Elliot led him to the wagon, glowering at Milo on his way out. Patchy frowned as he was seated in the wagon. He sat with his knees folded against his chest. The position didn’t look that comfortable.  “Aye, this be yer vessel? A wee shame.”

Elliot sighed. “You try buying a car with low credit.”

“Use yer head, lad,” Patchy suggested. “What be stoppin’ ye from stealin’ yer treasure?”

“I’m an officer dedicated to the safety of Hoenn,” Elliot said flatly.

“Right, sorry. That not be a norm amongst ye landlubbers?”

Elliot pedaled towards town as Patchy sang an old sea shanty. Milo hoped Elliot had a pair of earplugs. Some voices weren’t meant for sea shanties.

“Alright, everyone!” Milo exclaimed once everyone recovered from Elliot’s visit. “We’re official trainers now, so let’s do a pre-journey cheer!”

Melissa and Zack placed their hands on top of Milo’s, then crouched down so Diogee and the starters could join in too. Torchic flapped her wings indignantly, indicating her lack of arms. The group rested their hands or legs on Torchic’s head so she didn’t feel left out. Torchic preened at the attention.

“For family, friends, and Pokémon! Let’s do our best and make everyone proud!” Milo cheered.

“Family, friends, and Pokémon!” Melissa and Zack echoed. The Pokémon’s voices punctuated their words.

“For ourselves! Let’s carve our own paths and challenge ourselves on our travels!”

“For ourselves!”

“For Hoenn! Let’s create a story worthy of Dr. Magnezone!”

“For Hoenn!”

Everyone threw up their hands and legs with a final shout, blowing out several lights in the process.

The assistants groaned at having to fix something else in the lab.

“Whoops....” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destroying bikes is a rite of passage for friendship in the Pokémon World.
> 
> I tweaked Absol’s dex info cause Milo’s dex has a mind of its own XD
> 
> Yes, Elliot is my version of Officer Jenny here. Except a lot more incompetent.
> 
> Welp, our main characters are official trainers now. What could possibly go wrong?


	5. We’ll Call it a Day! Everybody Rest Up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eileen and Marcus Underwood are underused. We need more Underwood family!

Once they’d taken the path back to Littleroot, it was only a five-minute walk to Zack’s house. There wasn’t much to the residential area of town. All the houses were painted in simple, earthy shades that blended perfectly with the forest.

“Lee’s got the beanie. Lance does not,” Zack repeated for the fifteenth time. “Don’t mix them up unless you want to find whoopee cushions in your beds.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry so much. Milo and I have plenty of practice differentiating between Absol. Twins are a piece of cake.”

Milo stood out of range so the door didn’t splinter into pieces while Zack turned the doorknob. He kept a lasso at the ready in case a stampede of wild Pokémon tried to carry anyone off.

Zack frowned, jiggling the doorknob a few times. “Weird. We don’t lock it during the day unless nobody’s home.”

Giggles erupted from inside the house.

“Who is it?” a child’s voice called.

“It’s me, Zack!” Zack sighed irritably. “Open the door!”

“Sorry, that’s not the password! Please try again at the sound of the beep!”

“Lee, I have something important to tell Mom and I’ve had a long day already. I’m not in the mood for pranks.”

“It was Lance’s idea!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Lee! Lance! I want to see those hands squeaky clean before dinner!” a woman scolded. “And don’t lock your brother out of the house!”

“Yes, Mom,” Lee and Lance chorused. They continued to bicker as their voices faded away.

The door swung open, revealing a woman in comfortable house clothes. Zack looked a lot like her. Her eyes flicked over to Melissa and Milo.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you two before,” she said kindly. “Not from around here?”

“I’m Milo and this is Melissa!” Milo exclaimed. Diogee huffed at being left out. “And my partner, Diogee. Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about you!”

Diogee snorted.

“We’re from the Mt. Chimney area. And we all just became Pokémon Trainers!” Milo continued.  

The woman blinked in surprise. She studied Zack for a long time, who shrank back from the sudden scrutiny. Then she smiled. “Zack, I know you have better manners than this! Milo, Melissa, come inside for dinner. I want to hear how you two managed to convince my boy to become a Pokémon Trainer in the span of one afternoon. Oh, and you can just call me Eileen. Dr. Underwood is a mouthful for house guests.”

Eileen’s tone left no room for argument.

“Marcus called when you left the lab, but all he said over the phone was ‘Zack’s a Pokémon Trainer now’ before hanging up,” Eileen remarked as she set two extra places at the table for Milo and Melissa. “I love him, but that man always forgets to explain the important details. When he got his first Pokémon, he left home without telling his parents goodbye and they filed a missing person report for him! Sometimes he’s just the epitome of absent-minded professor.”

“We had to rescue Dad from a swarm of Magikarp. Some pirate guy was dumping them into the lake and disturbing the ecosystem,” Zack explained. “Milo and Melissa did most of the work on that.”

“You’re the one whose friends with a wild Gyarados,” Melissa said, gently punching Zack on the shoulder. “Stop selling yourself short.”

“Is it true?” Lee demanded, rushing out of the bathroom. His hands were still dripping wet. “Are you a-whoa!” He stared up at Diogee, mouth open in shock. He turned around, cupping his hands to his mouth. “LANCE! GET OUT HERE! THERE’S A COOL POKÉMON IN THE DINING ROOM!”

Diogee growled slightly as Lee tried to touch his fur with still-wet hands.

“Lee, go dry your hands and don’t let me catch you touching someone else’s Pokémon without permission again,” Eileen warned.

“But, Mom-“

“Argue and you won’t have cherry pie for dessert.”

Lee scampered off immediately.

“Mom, can you look over our Pokémon after dinner? We want them checked before we start training,” Zack asked, scooping up a handful of silverware from a drawer and setting them next to every plate. “Oh, and they need a place to stay the night.”

“It’s no issue,” Eileen said. She stirred a large pot of soup on the stove. “Dinner’s almost ready. Melissa, why don’t you take the spare room? There might be a few boxes you’ll have to move aside, but it’s cozy enough. And Milo, we don’t have another bed, but there’s an air mattress we can set up in Zack’s room.”

Milo showed her a deflated air mattress from his backpack. “It’s okay. I have five air mattresses in my backpack! As my dad always says, it’s always good to have one on hand for sleep emergencies and random Ducklett attacks!”

Eileen’s nose scrunched up in thought as she tried to figure out how an average sized backpack fit five air mattresses. “But Ducklett aren’t native to Hoenn.”

Melissa shook her head. “With Murphy’s Law, any species of Pokémon can appear anywhere at any time. Doesn’t matter if they’re native to the area or not.”

The flames on the stove suddenly flared up, almost engulfing the bottom of the pot. Eileen hurriedly turned a dial, and the flames sputtered out with a click.

“Oh, and random fires may crop up too. I’ll just leave this fire extinguisher here. Comes in pretty handy,” Milo said, placing a fire extinguisher in the corner.

After a few minutes, Eileen recovered. “Alright. You seem used to handling these…situations. Just go put down your things and I’ll have everything plated when you come back.”

* * *

The twins spent their dinner watching the Pokémon eat. Eileen had to remind them several times to take a bite of their own food.

“-and that’s why Sara swore off secretly watching weight-lifting competitions between wild Machop!” Milo finished. “So, what’s Littleroot like?”

“Not gonna lie. It’s boring. But just ignore my personal bias. I’ll always prefer the city myself. Did Zack tell you we lived in Olivine before?” Eileen said. “It’s sort of the Johto equivalent to your Slateport. Zack’s grandfather runs a Miltank farm just outside there.”

“My big brother fell into the Magikarp pond,” Lee giggled.

Zack almost choked on his soup. “Don’t tell them that!” he squeaked.

“It’s not exactly news to us,” Melissa said. “Besides, you’re not the only one with irrational fears. Take Milo for instance. He’s afraid of Ranseinese fingertraps.”

Zack raised an eyebrow. “Ranseinese fingertraps?”

“They’re a fiendish, diabolical trap that limits one’s dexterity while slowly suffocating the poor little capillaries,” Milo said. He was adamant that they were the worst traps known to mankind.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Milo, you’re supposed to push your fingers in, It loosens the binding.”

_“That’s what they want you to think.”_

“Um, Milo?” Lance piped up. He shifted in his seat when everyone turned to him. “I just wanna know…what’s the stuff in Diogee’s food?”

Diogee growled protectively, nudging his food bowl away from prying eyes.

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t trying to steal your food,” Milo said soothingly. “Anyway, the red splotches in his pellets are Razz Berries. In addition to flavor, their hard shells also prevent an Absol’s fangs from growing too sharp. You don’t want them cutting their gums.”

Lance jumped out from his seat. “Sorrymomberightback!” he called over his shoulder as he rushed off.

Eileen placed a slice of cherry pie on Lance’s plate. “He wants to be a Pokémon Researcher like Marcus. Always writing down Pokémon facts and care tips in his notebook.”

Noticing that Mudkip and Torchic were trying to climb up the empty seat to get to the pie, Milo gently pulled them off. They protested as he deposited them next to their food bowls.

“No,” Milo said sternly. “That pie is for Lance.”

Torchic’s feathers puffed out, and Mudkip chewed on his wrist.

“They’re a handful,” Eileen remarked. “You might as well relax tonight because you’ve got some serious training to do on the road.”

* * *

Since Eileen said she worked better when people weren’t watching over her shoulder, nobody would be allowed in the house’s clinic while she conducted the Pokémon’s checkups.

Milo and Melissa took the opportunity to freshen up before joining Zack and the twins in the living room.

“What’s it like living around a bunch of Absol? What do they like to eat? What kind of disasters do they sense?” Lance fired all the Absol-related questions he could think of at Milo.

Milo answered him the best he could, pausing every once in while to make sure Lance had enough time to write his responses in his notebook.

Melissa, Zack, and Lee passed the time with a game of Poképoly. The Underwood siblings only had a few bills each, while Melissa had no shortage of money. Zack rolled the dice, then moved his Bellsprout piece to a space that had a plastic replica of the Indigo Plateau.

“I own Mt. Silver. That’ll be 2500 please,” Melissa smirked, holding out her hand expectantly.

“Extortionist,” Zack muttered, grudgingly forking over his remaining money. Because he didn’t have enough, Melissa took the remaining amount from the bank.

“First lesson of Poképoly, Lee. Show no mercy, not even to family. Crush ‘em. Make ‘em weep,” Melissa said. “Oh, and you wanna aim for the spaces around the jail area. More bang for your buck.”

Lee nodded vigorously, while Zack was less than pleased about Melissa teaching about the ways of ruthless corporatism.

“Zack, could I use your desktop to call my family?” Milo asked. “I promised them I’d call after we visited the lab.”

“I wanna meet your family!” Lance exclaimed.

“Me too!” Lee agreed.

“Okay, but try not to blow anything up,” Zack warned as he logged into the computer.

Milo shrugged, knowing that he couldn’t promise anything since Murphy’s Law would always find a way to surprise them. “I’ll try, but no promises.”

“Melissa, were you gonna call home too?” Zack asked.

Melissa shrugged, folding her arms defensively. “I already texted Dad. Besides, he’s probably got something at the fire department right now.”

After the fiasco in the helicopter, Milo couldn’t blame Melissa for wanting her space. But she and her dad would have to face each other in Lavaridge. Maybe the journey would give her time to think things over.

While Milo entered his username into the video chat service his family used, Eileen and the Pokémon came into the living room. Mudkip pawed at Milo until he was settled in his lap. Diogee laid by his feet, watching Mudkip from the corner of his eye. Meanwhile, Torchic and Treecko climbed all over Melissa and Zack.

“Your Pokémon are all healthy. After a hectic day, all they need is rest,” Eileen reported. “My only concern is Mudkip’s tendency to put things in his mouth. While it’s natural for young Pokémon to explore the world through taste and texture, your Mudkip is old enough to be a starter and should’ve outgrown that habit by now.”

Milo glanced down at Mudkip, who nibbled at a pocket on his shorts innocently. “I’ve noticed,” he admitted. “Can I train this out of him?”

“I suggest teaching him what he can or can’t put in his mouth. Yes for designated toys or food. No to body parts. You can probably find some toys at the Poké Mart in Oldale Town.”

“Okay, we’ll get some toys!” Milo agreed. “Thanks for the tip!”

“It’s my job,” Eileen said.

Sara answered the video call within seconds. “MOM! DAD! MILO’S CALLING!” she bellowed.

“Are things boring without us?” Milo teased.

Sara kicked back in her chair, sighing dramatically. “Boring’s an understatement. Now I don’t have anyone to gush about Dr. Magnezone with.”

“Don’t you have your friends in Mauville?” Melissa asked.

“Not the same! I’d be a laughingstock if I told them I shipped Dr. Magnezone with Clefablebelle!”

“You like Dr. Magnezone?” Lee gasped. “He’s the coolest person ever! I liked the episode where he tricked the evil Trubbishdroids into destroying their own fortress!”

“Sweet! Young fan! Always good to see the young people enjoying Dr. Zone!” Sara exclaimed. “So how do you know my brother?”

Lee pointed to Zack. “My brother brought him and Melissa home! We’re having one big sleepover tonight!”

Lance jumped in, obscuring Milo’s view of the screen. “Do you live on an Absol farm too? Are they just as cool as Diogee?”

Milo let the twins dominate the conversation, content to hang back for a while as he tried to gently dissuade Mudkip from chewing on his pockets. There were already several tiny holes in them, and he wanted his shorts to last.

After ten minutes, Brigitte and Martin joined in. “Sorry. Martin’s tie got stuck in the sink. I told you not to lean over the disposal, honey.”

“I got my guitar pick back though. Besides, I still have six more ties for the week,” Martin said. His tie hung in ribbons around his neck. “I see you’ve already made some friends.”

“We helped Zack rescue his dad from a pirate guy’s plot to release Magikarp into the local ecosystem,” Milo said. “You should’ve seen us! Zack’s friends with a Gyarados and Melissa’s really good at commanding two Pokémon at once!”

“Now this I gotta hear,” Sara said.

Zack tilted the camera to give them a better view of the Treecko on his head. “They forced me to run away from a giant boulder within five minutes of meeting me.”

“In our defense, we didn’t have time to explain certain details,” Melissa added.

Martin glanced outside, then held up a hand to stop Milo from retelling the story. “Sorry, can you hold on for a few minutes? I need to shoo some wild Geodude away from the outdoor furniture.”

Milo agreed, and the conversation shifted to Sara gushing over how adorable their Pokémon were. Torchic jumped onto the desk, peering into the camera curiously. Melissa pried Torchic off, accidentally knocking the computer mouse to the floor.

Before Zack could put the mouse back, a Linoone snatched it out of his hands.

“Hey!” Lee protested.

“Don’t let him out!” Melissa shouted. “Torchic, use Peck!”

Torchic darted towards Linoone, who jumped over her with the mouse clutched in his teeth. She rapidly pecked at the couch while Linoone continued his getaway.

_You’ve never seen him before, this is just his debut!_

_He’s Recurring Linoone!_

“I didn’t know you had ghosts,” Milo said. The Underwood house didn’t seem like the kind to hold any supernatural creatures.

Eileen hit the fleeing Linoone over the head with a broom, forcing him to drop the mouse. Then she opened the front door, sweeping Linoone outside before locking him out of the house. Melissa plugged the mouse into the computer, shaking it to make sure it worked.

“We don’t have ghosts. I have no idea where those annoying commercial jingle guys came from,” Zack said.

_Wait, is this Pokéstar Studios? We’re supposed to be disembodied voice actors for a movie._

“Completely wrong region, man!” Melissa shouted in exasperation. “That’s in Unova!”

“How do you mistake a house in Littleroot for a studio?” Zack asked.

_That’s the last time we let Disembodied Reggae Space Voice give us directions. Dude still can’t let go of how we forgot the marshmallows on our last camping trip. Sorry for the intrusion. Thanks for your help!_

“We must never speak of this incident again,” Melissa swore.

Milo turned back to the computer screen. Brigitte and Sara took the interruption in stride.

Then Martin returned, plucking a mustard-covered branch out of his hair. “So, you mentioned stopping a guy who talked like a pirate?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used imaginashon’s art and notes of Lee and Lance as a base for their personalities. They’re both really adorable and I really wish they’d appear in MML because I’m sure they’d be a riot. 
> 
> As much as I love fanfiction, a downside of this medium is how cartoon gags don’t translate well to text. Sometimes I feel like Murphy’s Law doesn’t happen as often as it should because I can’t just have random things explode because Milo happens to be there. So I try to include it in the situations the characters get into instead.
> 
> Ransei is the region in Pokemon Conquest. I know it’s based off feudal Japan but there isn’t a direct equivalent of China. 
> 
> Melissa has a 133-0 winning streak in Poképoly. She’s keeping it that way.


	6. Standby for Battle, Diogee and Mudkip! Milo’s First Rival!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I’m done with my Secret Santa projects! Now back to this story! Happy 2019 everybody!

The first twenty minutes of traveling without adult supervision were going incredibly well.

“Don’t worry, Zack! I’ll use these suction cups to get you down!” Milo shouted, attaching the cups to his hands and feet. He tested them against the trunk, picking up speed once he was sure the cups would stick to the bark.

Of course, ‘incredibly well’ was a relative phrase.

“Hurry! I think my cardiovascular system is making a new home in my brain!” Zack demanded, swinging desperately to free his trapped foot from the vine. His actions only tightened the vine’s hold though.

“Hang in there!” Melissa shouted from the ground. Diogee’s claws scrabbled on the tree I worry, but he couldn’t get a grip.

“Seriously, Melissa?” Zack complained. “Your puns are terrible anime dub worthy, and that’s not a compliment.”

Milo shook his head. “All we need is a rimshot, and it would be perfect! You can improve anything with the right percussion beat.”

He crawled onto the branch the vine hung from, approaching Zack at a steady pace. Below them, Melissa inflated an air mattress. Milo hauled Zack onto the branch, then freed his ankle from the vine.

“Thanks,” Zack said, rubbing his ankle to get some feeling back. Before they could crawl back to the trunk, a Taillow landed in their way. It pecked at the wood curiously. Then it hopped onto Milo’s hair, smacking him several times with its beak.

Milo swatted at the bird Pokémon, but he only made it angrier. Taillow squawked angrily and slashed at Milo’s hand with its feet.  Milo yelped, almost losing his balance on the branch.

“What’s going on up there?” Melissa shouted.

“Wild Taillow’s mad at us!” Zack called back.

Diogee growled and tried to shimmy up the tree, but Melissa held him back. “Sorry, but you’re a little heavy to climb trees,” she said.

“Hold on, Milo!” Zack exclaimed as he sent out Treecko. The Grass-type took note of his surroundings, spitting out the twig in his mouth. “Treecko’s great at fighting in foliage like this. It should make up for the type disadvantage. Alright, let’s try a Pound!”

Because Treecko was more interested in selecting a new twig, it took several seconds before he was satisfied with his choice and followed Zack’s command. Taillow hopped off Milo’s head, retaliating with a Tackle. Treecko blocked Taillow’s advance with his tail. Then Taillow’s beak elongated, and it barraged the poor appendage with a series of Peck attacks.

Treecko drew his tail back, wincing in pain. His hesitation allowed Taillow an opening, and it tackled him off the branch. Treecko landed on the air mattress, and Melissa rushed over to check for injuries. Crowing in satisfaction, Taillow flew away.

“That could’ve gone better,” Zack muttered.

“Hey, don’t let the first day get you down,” Milo soothed as they climbed down. “In the first five minutes of my Dad’s journey, he managed to shut down the Cable Car for two months because he broke their generator while trying to get a candy bar out of a vending machine! Besides, you just need to find your groove with Treecko. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it in no time!”

Zack didn’t seem convinced though. He walked over to Treecko, whose arms were crossed as he tried to be nonchalant about hiding his tail. “You okay?” he asked.

Treecko nodded.

“Don’t hide your tail, Treecko,” Zack said sternly. “I know Taillow got you pretty good there.”

Treecko slowly drew his tail out, wincing as he let Zack examine it.

“I have salve,” Milo said, handing Zack a small jar. “It works on just about every Pokémon.”

Zack applied the salve to the abrasion, and Treecko’s eyes twitched as it sunk into his tail.

“It stings, but it’ll heal in no time,” Milo promised.

“Worked wonders on Elliot’s Watchog after the Camerupt Incident,” Melissa quipped. “Remember how Elliot was convinced your salve would force Watchog to do your evil bidding? That was a riot.”

“Wasn’t he Lavaridge Elliot’s dad?” Milo asked.

“No, that was his uncle. Mossdeep Elliot is Lavaridge Elliot’s dad. All the Hoenn-based Elliots have that mole on their jaw, remember?”

“I have no idea how you two manage to tell the difference between Elliots,” Zack shook his head. Treecko was feeling better, so they began packing up the air mattress.

“It’s easy once you know what to look for,” Milo said. “Rustboro Elliot has a badge advertising a local waffle shop. Fortree Elliot tends to camouflage himself as a tree to catch those who dare disrupt the tranquility of the rainforest. The younger generation is a little harder to tell apart at first glance. For example, Violet Elliot and Azalea Elliot both look alike, but the key difference between them is how they sound when they’re yelling at you….”

* * *

There wasn’t much to Oldale Town. It had the basics for starting trainers, but no tourist attractions or gyms. Milo appreciated the effort that went into making the flower-lined paths. The flora was perfectly spaced apart so each plant would have room to grow, and there were multiple signs warning visitors to mind the flowers or pay the consequences.

Melissa sneezed, burying her nose into her jacket to avoid the aroma. An old woman glared at her as they passed. “No sneezing on the cosmos!” she called, waving her cane threateningly.

“Got it,” Melissa mumbled.

After a quick detour to avoid a crotchety old Elliot, they entered the Pokémon Center. The lobby was full of young trainers, each of them proudly boasting about their Pokémon and experiences on the road so far.

“Shorts are comfier!”

“Nuh-uh! Skirts are way easier to wear!”

“Shorts!”

“Skirts!”

Well, most of them anyway.

“Hi, Chansey!” Milo exclaimed to the Pokémon behind the counter. “Is Nurse Joy in?”

Chansey smiled, signaling Milo to wait as she waddled to the back area. Moments later, Nurse Joy came out. “Chansey, could you check on Surskit while I’m out here please?” Nurse Joy asked.

Dipping her head politely, Chansey closed the door that separated the patient rooms and lobby.

“Welcome to Oldale Town! How may I help you?” Nurse Joy asked.

“I want to be registered for the Pokémon League please!” Milo exclaimed. He pulled out his Pokédex, but before he could hand it to Nurse Joy, it fell out of his hand and landed on the floor. The impact caused the device to open. As Milo picked it up, it scanned a nearby Shroomish.

_“Shroomish, the Mushroom Pok_ _émon. Remove stems, dirt, and gills before cooking. Marinate the mushrooms for ten minutes. Add seasoning and serve.”_

The room went silent as Milo awkwardly placed his Pokédex on the counter. “Um, it malfunctions a bit,” he admitted. Nurse Joy gingerly slid it through a scanner by her computer.

“My Shroomish isn’t for dinner,” a boy snapped. His dark hair flopped into his eyes as he marched up to Milo. His clothes were dull and boring by Hoenn standards. The region had a reputation for being brash and in-your-face, which also included fashion. “And you won’t get far with a Pokédex that malfunctions with such basic information.”

“You could at least tell us your name before you start harping on my friend,” Melissa said. “Besides, Zack and I have Pokédexes that he can borrow.”

“Fine, if you’re going to be all insistent on formalities,” the boy complained. “It’s Bradley. May want to remember it, because I’m going to compete in the Pokémon League soon.”

Melissa smirked. “Alright, Bradley. How many badges do you have so far?”

“None. I registered this morning,” Bradley scoffed. “But that’ll change. Unlike your friend, I don’t make rookie mistakes like having a malfunctioning Pokédex.”

He marched off, interrupting a group of younger trainers as they compared their Wurmple.

“Rude,” Zack muttered.

Nurse Joy returned Milo’s Pokédex along with a red and white case. “Your registration is complete,” she said. “This is your badge case. Eight badges are required for entry into the Pokémon League. Good luck!”

“Thanks so much!” Milo exclaimed, storing the items in his backpack. “League, here we come!”

Diogee’s rump wiggled as he pranced around Milo.

“So what gym are you challenging first?” Zack asked.

Milo shrugged. “In the order we come across them, I guess. But I’m definitely not starting with Mr. Chase. I’d need to train a lot to beat him!”

“Thanks for putting that off, cause I’m procrastinating on our next little talk,” Melissa said, flipping through a guidebook. Milo was surprised that she brought up her father so soon after their argument, but he didn’t draw attention to it. Melissa paused, holding up her book so Milo and Zack could see. “We’re close to Petalburg City, which has a Normal-type gym.”

The picture of the gym reminded Milo of the training dojos in Sara’s favorite anime.

“Then we’ll go there first!” Milo declared.

While they prepared to leave the Pokémon Center, Bradley was trying to command attention from his peers. “Well, my Shroomish already knows Wake-Up Slap,” Bradley boasted to a crowd of skeptical trainers. “He’s already starting to break rocks with it.”

Shroomish looked just as proud. If he had arms, they would certainly be on his hips.

“Yeah, sure,” a girl rolled her eyes. She turned to her companion, who was feeding a berry to his Wurmple. “That’s a lie, Travis! Wurmple evolve depending on the time of day!”

“It’s random!” Travis retorted.

“Time!”

“Random!”

“Travis is right,” Melissa cut in, unable to resist showing off her knowledge of Pokémon. “The belief that Wurmple evolve into Silcoon by day and Cascoon by night was disproven by a research team in Sandgem University back in the ‘80s.”

“Ha! In your face, Brenda!” Travis crowed, much to the girl’s displeasure.

Bradley coughed, trying to get their attention back on him. “Don’t you wanna know how Shroomish can learn Wake-Up Slap?”

Then Brenda caught sight of Diogee, and she couldn’t help but stare in awe. “What kind of Pokémon is he?” she asked.

“An Absol,” Milo said. “You wanna pet him? He’s friendly.”

Brenda and Travis ran their hands through Diogee’s fur, giggling at how soft it was. Diogee nudged their shoulders playfully, making them gush over how cute and awesome he was.

“Um, guys? Shroomish is awesome too!” Bradley complained.

Brenda rolled her eyes. “But they’re so common! Absol are way rarer and cuter!”

“I think your Shroomish is adorable,” Milo said as Bradley folded his arms in defense. “And any Pokémon can be a good partner. Doesn’t matter how common or rare they are.”

But his words didn’t seem to have any effect.

“You think you’re so high and mighty because you walked in with a rare Pokémon,” Bradley scoffed. “Battle me and I’ll take you down a peg.”

“No problem! Single or double?” Milo said.

“Double,” Bradley replied. “See you on the battlefield.”

He stomped outside, leaving Milo to wonder why Bradley was so upset with him. Maybe he just didn’t like being interrupted.

* * *

Milo and Bradley positioned themselves on opposite sides of a battlefield next to the Pokémon Center. Zack sat on a bench to watch, sending his Treecko so he could learn through observation too. Melissa agreed to act as referee, her Torchic agreeing to act as a second set of eyes.

“Alright, this is a double battle, so first one to knock out both Pokémon on the opponent’s side wins the match! Whenever you’re ready, send out your Pokémon!” Melissa yelled, slashing her arms in a downward motion to signal the beginning of the battle.

Bradley released two Poké Balls, not bothering with any fancy maneuvers. “I choose Shroomish and Minun,” he said.

His Pokémon let out battle cries as they popped out of their balls.

“Do your best, Diogee and Mudkip!” Milo shouted. Diogee charged in excitedly.

Milo threw Mudkip’s Poké Ball into the field, though he overcalculated and the ball whizzed past Bradley’s head. Bradley yelped, hitting the ground as the ball bounced off the wall of the Pokémon Center and several trees before lodging itself into an unsuspecting Elliot’s bike.

Elliot immediately lost control, shrieking and crashing into a flowerbed. An old woman shrugged, watering his shoes nonchalantly.

“Sorry!” Milo said. “Mudkip, over here!”

Mudkip trotted back to the field, oblivious to the strange looks he received.

“Battle, begin!” Melissa declared. “Without more people crashing preferably!”

Bradley rolled his eyes. “A Water-type? Seriously? Did they not teach you type effectiveness in school?”

“Water Gun on Minun!” Milo ordered.

Mudkip complied, and Minun was blasted back several feet. He shook himself off, squeaking indignantly at Bradley.

“I think you’re supposed to battle, not complain about type charts!” Zack yelled.

Melissa blew her whistle. “No heckling the trainers! Final warning before I give you a red card, Underwood!”

She produced several colored cards from her jacket.

“You don’t have the power to do that,” Zack pointed out.

Melissa held up a card. “Certified Pokémon referee. I took an online class and got my card a few weeks ago. Came with the nifty whistle.”

“She takes her job seriously!” Milo warned. Since his attention wasn’t on the field, Bradley bounced back from his error and Shroomish was able to get several Tackles on Diogee.

Diogee slashed at Shroomish with his horn, flinging the Mushroom Pokémon away.

“Minun, power up Shroomish with Helping Hand,” Bradley said. “And get away from Mudkip.”

Breaking off the odd Tackle and Quick Attack dance he’d been doing with Mudkip, Minun cartwheeled backward and clapped his paws. His entire body glowed, releasing a blue bolt of energy that zigzagged towards Shroomish. Minun cheered as Helping Hand made contact, and Shroomish lowered his head. Several brown seeds formed as Shroomish continued to store energy.

“Leech Seed!” Bradley yelled.

“Dodge!” Milo countered. But Diogee wasn’t moving. Milo squinted, realizing that yellow sparks were dancing around Diogee’s body. Diogee growled, unable to withstand the barrage of seeds that quickly sprouted vines to entangle his legs.

Bradley smirked. “Your Absol triggered Effect Spore when he made direct contact with Shroomish. Should’ve stuck to ranged attacks.”

Milo grinned back. “Great strategy! You’re pretty good at double battles!”

“It wasn’t a strategy. I just wanted to use his ability. That’s all,” Bradley flicked his hand dismissively. “Minun, Thundershock on Mudkip. See if you can knock him into the vines too.”

“Diogee, try to get out of the vines! You can do it!” Milo encouraged. Diogee wasn’t moving as fast as he normally did, but he powered through and tried to chip away at the vines with his horn.

While Milo was distracted, Mudkip had gotten tangled in the vines that littered the ground. Minun scored a Thundershock on him while he was trapped. The Cheering Pokémon waved his paws triumphantly.

“They’re nearly finished,” Bradley said. “Minun, hit Mudkip with Spark. Shroomish, Wake-Up Slap on Absol.”

Shroomish slowly charged at Diogee, tripping over his own vines.

“We’ll work on it,” Bradley muttered.

Mudkip braced himself as Minun rocketed towards him, blue sparks flying off his body. A white aura enveloped Mudkip as Minun crashed into him.

“Mudkip, are you okay?” Milo shouted above Minun’s pained cry as he was launched backward by a white beam. Mudkip panted, grinning at Milo before collapsing.

Minun crashed into Shroomish, the sheer impact sending them careening to Bradley’s side of the field. The Cheering Pokémon released a Thundershock, which hit Shroomish point-blank. While the two struggled to their feet, Diogee finally cut himself free from the vines.

“Get them with Quick Attack!” Milo exclaimed.

Diogee slammed into Shroomish and Minun, and they skidded several feet from the lines that marked the battlefield. They struggled to their feet, but exhaustion won out and they fell to the ground.

“Mudkip, Shroomish, and Minun are unable to battle!” Melissa declared. “Since Absol is the last Pokémon standing, that makes Milo the winner!”

“That was a fluke,” Bradley muttered as he gathered Shroomish and Minun into his arms. “You didn’t even order that Bide.”

Milo shrugged. “I didn’t know Mudkip had that move. But I had a lot of fun battling you. We should do this again!”

“I hope not,” Bradley said as he took a side entrance into the Pokémon Center. Then he paused, tossing something small and red over his shoulder.

After a brief fumble, Milo caught the object.

It was a Cheri Berry.

“Effect Spore paralyzed Diogee,” Melissa recalled. “Guess Bradley’s a good sport after all.”

“He called Milo’s win a fluke,” Zack said, folding his arms. Treecko mirrored his actions.

Milo fed the Cheri Berry to Diogee, and the paralysis wore off instantly. Diogee nuzzled Milo’s face, still excited over their victory. “The timing was pretty lucky,” he admitted.

“I wouldn’t mind battling Bradley myself,” Melissa said. “He knows how to utilize abilities and status moves, something plenty of trainers don’t take advantage of. And he’d make a pretty good antagonist for our adventures.”

“He’s going to be the archetypical rival, isn’t he?” Zack asked.

“I’ll think up a tragic backstory for the book. Readers eat that stuff up. Besides, I didn’t say it would all be factual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bradley is now introduced! Whoo-hoo!
> 
> Shroomish’s Japanese name is Kinococo, which literally means Mushroom Child. I kinda wish we kept the name cause it’s so cute.
> 
> Shroomish can learn Wake-Up Slap via breeding. I find it hysterical when Pokemon learn moves they don’t have the body parts for.
> 
> Bradley has a Minun cause he’s so negative. Plus he could do with such a happy Pokemon!


	7. The Classy Skitty Man! A Different Kind of Challenge!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter guys! I’ve gotten a new job recently and a class on top of that!

“Wait, you can’t leave town! There’s some rare footprints I need to sketch!” a harried-looking artist pushed them away from his sketching grounds. “The nerve of some people! Can’t they recognize the potential discovery of a Regice’s footprints?”

Melissa ignored him, ripping off the yellow tape that blocked the route to Petalburg City.

The artist pushed up his glasses indignantly, the lenses flashing white. “Little girl,” he hissed dangerously. “You’ve disrespected the sanctity of Pokémon footprints. They’re a testament to the bond between trainer and Pokémon, and I will not stand for your mockery!”

He held up a Poké Ball.

Diogee scuffed the ground with his paw, but Milo held him back by the collar. “Wait a little more before battling, okay? We just got you healed from your fight with Shroomish and Minun.”

Diogee sat down with a small huff.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got this,” Melissa said, taking a battle stance. “Torchic, let’s boom!”

She pitched the Poké Ball like a baseball, only for the device to fall to the ground a foot away.

Picking it up sheepishly, she threw it again. The ball slammed into the ground six inches in front of her.

Melissa groaned. “Oh, come on!”

The artist crossed his arms. “Delaying your inevitable defeat is a terrible course of action.”

“You think I’m doing this on purpose?”

* * *

 

“-and when I was nine, I was kidnapped by a pack of Smeargle and covered in their painted footprints during a ritual to provide their paintbrush god with an earthly vessel so he could share the knowledge of art and footprints to lowly mortals,” the artist explained.

Zack almost choked on his soda. “Wow, that’s…really interesting.”

“What’s the name of the paintbrush god?” Milo asked.

The artist tapped his chin in thought. “Well, I guess the closest thing in English would be ‘Raphaelmichaelangeloleonardodonatello’.”

“Torchic, let’s boom!” Melissa shouted, finally managing three feet with her Poké Ball toss.

Torchic opened her beak, releasing several embers to pump herself up.

“Okay, we’re ready now!” Melissa exclaimed. She turned towards the boys, frowning when she saw they’d laid out the entire picnic spread while she was struggling to throw her Poké Ball. “It’s a little early for lunch.”

Milo shrugged. “Artie here doesn’t battle well on an empty stomach. And don’t worry, we’ll save you a sandwich.”

“An artist named Artie?” Melissa returned Artie’s glare coolly. “Who knew?”

“First you mock the sanctity of footprints, now you make fun of my name!” Artie growled, rushing into a battle position. “Prepare for your inevitable-“

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Less declarations of hatred, more battling please.”

* * *

 

Artie released a Pokémon with a cute beret perched on its head. Blue paint oozed from a paw marking on its back and tail tip. It stuck its tongue out adorably as Milo checked its dex entry.

_“Smeargle, the Painter Pok_ _émon. In a thousand years, human society will collapse and the Great Smeargle Era will begin. Turf wars will become the dominant competitive sport.”_

“Paint the field, Smeargle!” Artie commanded.

Smeargle spun in place, flinging blue paint all over the grassy terrain. Torchic ducked her head, jumping back when a splash of paint hit her wings. Realizing that Artie and Smeargle didn’t seem to care where the substance touched, Milo threw on a paintproof poncho, which was large enough to cover Zack as well. As Melissa ordered a Peck attack, Milo helped Diogee into an Absol-sized poncho.

Torchic rushed towards Smeargle, her beak glowing brightly as it elongated into a white, sharpened point.

“Dodge and use Sketch!” Artie yelled.

Smeargle waved its tail as it darted to the side, conjuring a pencil that floated over to Torchic. Startled by the writing utensil, Torchic’s concentration slipped and she lost her balance, stumbling face-first into the paint. The pencil circled Torchic as she recovered from her fall, leaving a trail of pink sparkles behind. The Painter Pokémon touched the pencil, allowing it to flicker out of existence.

“Torchic, watch out!” Melissa shouted as Smeargle charged with its tail extended into a sharp paint-covered point. But Torchic was too busy shaking the paint off her body, not paying attention to the battle at hand. Smeargle jabbed Torchic with the point, and the Chick Pokémon skidded back several feet against the paint-covered ground.

“Keep at it, Smeargle!” Artie crowed.

This time, Torchic was ready and countered with her own Peck. The two Pokémon parried, jabbed, and blocked each other, avoiding strikes as they tried to dish out their own attacks. Melissa and Artie tried to give more instructions, but Torchic and Smeargle were too engrossed in their beak-to-tail swordfight to listen.

“This is really cool!” Milo exclaimed. “I haven’t seen a swordfight this good since the Gallade Kingdom arc of Dr. Magnezone!”

“Who’s cleaning all this paint up exactly?” Zack asked worriedly, glancing over his shoulder as if expecting a mob of senior citizens to hurl dentures at them for making a mess of their pristine town.

Torchic and Smeargle broke apart to catch their breath. Blue splotches of paint covered their bodies.

Melissa tensed, her eyes flickering over the field as she thought of her next move. Then she smiled triumphantly.

Milo knew that look.

She always smiled like that when she was about to do something sneaky.

“Paint attack!” Melissa yelled.

Torchic used her feet to fling a glob of paint at Smeargle’s eyes, and the Painter Pokémon stumbled back in shock. It rubbed its face to get rid of the paint, but only succeeded in smearing it all over the place.

“Hey, no fair!” Artie protested, glaring at Melissa. “Get a grip, Smeargle!”

“You brought it into the field and gave me access to a good weapon,” Melissa smirked. “It’s totally fair. Now, let’s finish this off with Ember!”

Milo, Zack, and Diogee shot up in alarm. “Melissa, no!” Zack yelled. “The paint might be-“

_BOOM!_

“-combustible.”

And that was how Oldale Town set the world record for fastest evacuation in the event of wildfire.

* * *

 

“-arson, graffiti, endangerment, public nuisance, vandalism, waking me up from my afternoon nap, and coercement via Deerling eyes for the girl,” Oldale Elliot had been rattling off various charges for the three teenagers in the holding cell for twenty minutes.

Mostly it was leveled at Milo and Melissa. Zack was being treated on a guilt-by-association basis.

Artie and Smeargle had made a hasty retreat when Oldale Elliot showed up. Smeargle’s fur had been slightly singed, but it was otherwise fine.

Oldale’s residents had been evacuated to either Littleroot or Petalburg until it was safe to return, and the local firefighters had contained the wildfire so quickly that it wasn’t necessary to call in the Mt. Chimney Fire Department for help.

Which was probably a good thing, since Melissa wasn’t keen on seeing her dad after their last argument.

Milo’s head was still spinning from the fact that they’d entered Petalburg in the back of a bona fide 2001 Volcarona brand fire truck. Only ten of those had ever been made, equipped with five different ladders and a bell that sounded like a volcanic eruption.

Okay, so Oldale Elliot had insisted on escorting them to the holding cell in Petalburg City and the staring and muttered complaints about the younger generation had been more than a little awkward but it was a 2001 Volcarona! How could he not be excited?

“Not even a week and we’ve already been arrested,” Zack sighed. He twirled Treecko’s Poké Ball in his hand. “Seriously, you’re supposed to confiscate someone’s Pokémon before arresting them.”

“We were evacuating the premises under the watchful eye of an escort,” Melissa replied, reclining on the rough wooden board that was supposed to pass for a bed. “We weren’t arrested.”

“Explain the holding cell then.”

“Relax. There’s no trial date,” Melissa smirked. “Yet.”

Zack glared at her. “You’re a natural at reassurance.”

“Thanks! I try,” Melissa said.

Unhappy with the current arrangements, Diogee had taken to pacing and scratching the walls with his claws. “Don’t worry. We’ll be out before you know it,” Milo soothed, trying to keep Diogee from wearing down his claws too much.

The wall behind him crumbled to pieces just as a much younger Elliot opened the door. A backwards baseball cap was perched on his head. “So these are the ones who caused the fire in your town, Gramps?” his voice cracked on the last syllable, and he rubbed his throat in embarrassment.

“Pay attention,” Oldale Elliot barked, thrusting his cane in Milo’s direction. “His sunny disposition is a façade to hide his unsafe delinquent ways.”

Then he pointed the cane at Melissa and Zack. “And these are whippersnappers Murphy has recruited into his crusade of destruction.”

“Heh, you said whippersnapper,” Milo giggled into his hand.

“No respect,” Oldale Elliot grumbled.

Before he could complain any further, footsteps echoed down the hall. “Please excuse my interruption, gentlemen,” a smooth, pleasant voice rang out.

A man in a black and red business suit stepped into the cell. His brilliant white smile didn’t falter even as Oldale Elliot muttered an insult under his breath while everyone else was just too confused to speak. Two Skitty perched on his shoulder, occasionally rubbing their faces against the man’s neck.

“Hello, children,” he greeted. He rubbed the Skitty under their chins, causing them to melt into a purring mess. “I’ve been looking for some fresh challengers lately, and you seem to fit the bill.”

When nobody replied, the man glanced over to Diogee. “Ah, pardon my manners. My name is Bob Block, but please just call me Bob. Mr. Block is my descendant. And these are two of my lovely Skitty, Kiki and Sophie. They insisted on coming along.”

Kiki and Sophie mewed as Diogee sniffed them curiously.

“I think my dad mentioned you at some point,” Melissa recalled. “Mostly to complain about your Skitty beating his highly trained Fire-types at the Gym Leader Annual Picnic.”

Bob chuckled. “You must be Richard’s daughter. Your dad’s got a bit of a competitive streak. His Torkoal is tough, but what can he expect it to do in an agility course?”

Oldale Elliot rapped his cane against the ground to get Bob’s attention. “And this is the problem with your generation! Always makin’ excuses for the youngins.”

“Gramps, watch it! You can’t talk to a gym leader like that!” Petalburg Elliot hissed.

“I’m old and I’ll talk to him however I want! It’s a perk!” Oldale Elliot retorted.

As they argued over basic decency, Bob circled Diogee curiously. Diogee kept his eyes trained on him. Satisfied, Bob gave a small hum and nodded.

“I also have a keen interest in creatures associated with the supernatural,” Bob said. “According to Pokélantis legends, Absol were messengers of Umbra, the god of darkness, and their appearance was a forewarning to tsunamis and hurricanes. Whereas in more recent history, a man had the idea to harness Absol’s power to predict natural disasters in order to save the lives of people and Pokémon alike. I find the duality rather fascinating.”

At the mention of his ancestor, Milo nodded eagerly. “That was Sheriff Murphy! His Absol was named Cassandra and together they traveled all around Hoenn to show people that Absol were just misunderstood and wanted to help humanity! He was so awesome!”

Bob laughed at Milo’s enthusiasm. “A Murphy, huh? Interesting. How would you like to come by my gym? I’ve got a challenge for you, but it would be much easier to explain on my turf instead of this, ah…quaint, rustic room.”

He took a step back to avoid the leaky ceiling.

Oldale Elliot grimaced. “You can’t just release them like that! You have no authority!”

“Tell me, good sir. Do you have jurisdiction in Petalburg?” Bob asked, stroking Kiki’s head as he waited for Oldale Elliot to come up with a response.

“No, not really…” Oldale Elliot grumbled.

“Do you have any objections?” Bob turned to Petalburg Elliot, who shook his head.

“Back in my day, gym leaders actually yielded to police,” Oldale Elliot muttered, shaking his cane threateningly at Milo as they exited the jailhouse.

* * *

 

When Milo thought of Pokémon gyms, usually a battlefield and several rows of seats for an audience came to mind. He didn’t expect plush carpets, an assortment of colorful toys, and at least ten climbing trees that were all currently occupied by Skitty.

The entire room was a Skitty’s paradise.

“Mind their tails, please,” Bob called as the group carefully waded through the sea of Skitty.

Bob brought them into a dining area, separated from the rest of the room by a glass wall. He gently nudged three Skitty away from the door.

“I like to issue a pre-battle challenge for trainers who want my badge,” Bob explained as he set a tray of cheese and crackers in front of the group. They tore into the snack immediately. Milo piled a little of everything onto a small plate, then placed it on the floor for Diogee. “Are all of you planning to battle me?”

Melissa shook her head. “Just Milo. So what’s the challenge?”

A Skitty jumped into Bob’s lap, and he stroked it absentmindedly. The action reminded Milo heavily of the evil Silverfinger’s iconic Persian petting in Clauncherhunter IV: Get a Pincer Grip.

“Simple. A game of hide and seek with all my Skitty. They hide all over Petalburg, you try to find them. They won’t venture beyond city limits, don’t worry,” Bob replied. “If you manage to find them all, you may challenge me without any badges. I require that you obtain one badge for each Skitty you don’t find. If you miss more than eight Skitty, you can retake the challenge in a week. How does that sound?”

“Great!” Milo exclaimed. “So am I allowed help for this?”

Bob nodded. “You may enlist your friends’ help. I would prefer that you not battle my Skitty unless a situation warrants it.”

“We’re in. I’ve got siblings so I’m a master hide and seeker,” Zack boasted.

“At hiding or seeking?” Melissa asked.

Zack slumped. “Mostly hiding. Lee and Lance tend to cheat.”

Bob blew a whistle, and every Skitty filed out of the play area. The Skitty on his lap pushed the door open with its nose and followed them into the open air. He gave a lazy grin.

“You have until sunset. Good luck!”

* * *

 

The first ten Skitty were all hanging out by a pond next to the gym, offering no protest when Diogee herded them back into the play area. They’d clearly hung around the gym on purpose so they could get to the most coveted toys first.

“I see another one!” Milo shouted, pointing at a Skitty who somehow made her way up to the awning of a small grocery store. Covering his head with a fireman helmet as a precaution, he climbed a stepladder until he was level with the Skitty. He was close enough to read the tag on her lavender collar.

“Aw, so you’re Kit!” Milo cooed. “My name’s Milo. Hi. I’m just gonna get you down, okay?”

Kit tilted her head, mewing in confusion.

“I’m holding the ladder!” Zack yelled from below. “Wait, sir, don’t walk under…ugh, that guy’s gonna be having some bad luck.”

As Milo reached for Kit again, the sound of metal crashing against each other followed by someone’s yowl filled the air. Kit startled, jumping onto Milo’s head in fright and knocking his fireman helmet back. Milo slowly descended, gripping the sides of the ladder tightly since his vision was obscured by pink and cream fur.

Zack grimaced at the sight of two paramedics helping a man onto a gurney. “I told him not to walk under the stepladder.”

Melissa had been more interested in her Pokédex than her surroundings. “The Pokédex says Skitty are attracted to moving objects. We can save time if we get them to come to us. Milo, you got any craft supplies in your bag?”

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later, Zack was completely slathered in a rainbow yarn and feather monstrosity. Milo and Diogee collapsed in laughter, and Melissa snapped photos of a very disgruntled Zack. Her camera hand was shaky due to her giggling.

“I need new traveling partners,” Zack complained to Kit, who mewed happily as she batted the ends of the yarn back and forth.

“Sorry, Zack,” Melissa snickered. “But you drew the short straw. Literally.”

She flashed the straws they’d used to decide who was wearing the Skitty Attractor Suit.

“It’s popular with our focus group too,” Milo added, teasing Kit with the end of a string.

“C’mon, Skitty Man,” Melissa grinned. “Let’s see how popular you are.”

“Don’t call me that,” Zack grumbled, but he allowed Milo and Melissa to parade him around.

As they wandered through town, Skitty popped out from drainage pipes, mailboxes, flowerbeds, and places Milo didn’t know Skitty could fit inside. Melissa extracted another Skitty from a discarded tissue box, setting her in front of a loose string.

Milo did a quick headcount, which was made more difficult by the Skitty’s constant shifting.

“Twenty-one, twenty-two…. Zack, could you hold still?” Milo asked. “Now I lost count.”

Slightly dazed from being knocked over, Zack sighed heavily. “Yes, Milo. Cause it’s completely possible to remain still when covered in yarn, feathers, and Skitty.”

“Okay, thanks,” Milo said. He started another headcount while Zack tried to keep Skitty away from his face.

“Alright, I’ve got thirty-seven,” Melissa announced. “We’ll take the long way back, see if there’s anyone we missed and-“ she paused when a harsh howl pierced the air. Melissa scrambled away from the alley. “What was that?”

Thankfully, the Skitty were too preoccupied with Zack’s outfit to care.

“Diogee, you stay and guard Zack and the Skitty,” Milo ordered. Diogee whined, his red eyes pleading. Milo ruffled the top of his head. “You have an important job too. Make sure none of the Skitty run off so we can challenge Bob soon.”

At the prospect of a tough battle, Diogee perked up.

“Torchic, help us out!” Melissa said, forgoing the dramatic throw and settling for a simple release. When the red light faded, Torchic got into a battle stance.

Milo shone a flashlight behind a dumpster, but didn’t see anything except for a torn plastic lid.

A stack of cardboard boxes rattled next to a wall, a Skitty’s mews intermingling with the growls of a dark gray canine.

“A Poochyena,” Melissa breathed, her eyes lighting up. “I’ve always wanted one, but they don’t live around Lavaridge.”

“Well, now’s your chance to catch one,” Milo suggested. “I’ll focus on getting the Skitty away.”

Melissa smiled. “Thanks. Torchic, Ember on Poochyena!”

Torchic sprung into action, several fiery cinders raining down around Poochyena. Poochyena’s attention shifted to Torchic, allowing Milo to grab Skitty from the top of the stack.

“Gotcha,” Milo murmured, calming Skitty with several pats to the head.

Poochyena tackled Torchic into a garbage can, holding the squirming Fire-type down with his front paws. Then he revealed sharp fangs that crackled with electricity.

“I wasn’t expecting you to know Thunder Fang,” Melissa muttered.

As Poochyena and Torchic struggled against the garbage cans, something purple and hand-shaped drooped over the opening.

“That’s it! Grab the glove and shove it in Poochyena’s face!” Melissa yelled.

In one smooth motion, Torchic grabbed the glove with her beak and yanked hard enough to dislodge it from the rest of the garbage. The end fell into Poochyena’s open mouth, startling him enough to let Torchic go. Thunder Fang harmlessly discharged into the glove.

“Rubber insulates against electricity,” Melissa said.

“Murphy’s Law has its uses as an educational tool,” Milo grinned.

“Would you call my dad and tell him that?” Melissa called over her shoulder. “Torchic, finish with Scratch!”

Torchic raked her feet against Poochyena’s side, pushing him back. Poochyena whined, ears flat against his head as he recovered.

“Poké Ball, go!” Melissa cried, trying out a two-handed toss that was more characteristic of someone from Dragonite Ball Z than a Pokémon trainer. The Poké Ball dropped from her hands and rolled away uselessly.  

Milo retrieved the ball while Melissa tossed the second one, which also failed.

Torchic and Poochyena exchanged glances as the pile of Poké Balls built up around Melissa.

After the tenth failed throw, Poochyena nosed a ball open and allowed himself to be sucked in. The ball snapped shut, wiggled three times, and emitted the small noise that marked a successful capture.

“One of these days I’m gonna throw one right,” Melissa muttered.

* * *

 

“How did you find your pre-battle challenge? Interesting? Fun?” Bob asked once all the Skitty were brought back into the play area.

“Both,” Milo said. “Melissa caught a Poochyena.”

“Poochyena are said to be loyal partners,” Bob noted. “But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a Skitty person.” He laughed at his own joke. “Anyway, you missed four of my darlings. Don’t worry about them, they’re all trained to come inside at sundown. Please feel free to come back when you have at least four badges.”

“Good,” Zack growled as he shrugged off the Skitty Attractor Device. “This thing was itchy.”

“An interesting feat of ingenuity though,” Bob said.

Zack scowled. “That’s because you weren’t the one wearing it.”

“Alright, we did your challenge,” Melissa said. “Any idea where we’re heading now?”

“Rustboro City,” Bob replied. “Go through Petalburg Woods and you’ll be there in no time. It’s also home to the Pokémon School and the Mahlson Corporation.”

“I swear I’ve heard that name somewhere before,” Zack said, running a hand through his hair as he tried to remember.

“Orton Mahlson is the creator and star of Dr. Magnezone, in addition to being the Hoenn champion,” Milo supplied. “His dad is the CEO of Mahlson Corp, which originally started as a zoning commission and grew into the lead research facility we know it as today!”

“Forgive him, he’s from Johto,” Melissa clarified for Bob.

Bob chuckled. “No problem. Now, why don’t you head for the Pokémon Center and rest up? Petalburg Woods has a very…distinct layout and you’ll need your energy.”

Milo, Melissa, and Zack gathered their belongings and turned to leave.

“We’ll be back once I get four badges!” Milo waved at Bob and Skitty, forcing Melissa to pull him away from the path of an oncoming van. “So, he’s pretty cool!”

“Don’t praise him in front of me, Milo,” Melissa warned. “Poochyena are loyal partners and that’s a fact, not a rumor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hoo boy so this chapter got away from me. Hope you guys liked it!


	8. Lost in the Woods! Another Costumed Weirdo?

“I think we’re lost.”

“We’re not lost. We’ve taken a slight detour from the recommended path.”

“So we’re lost.”

“Think of it as the scenic route,” Milo suggested, looking at his map again. Before he could show Melissa and Zack their current location in the Petalburg Woods, a Linoone snatched the paper out of his hands and disappeared into a clump of berry bushes.

Unfazed, Milo brought out a second map. “Okay, so we’re near a bunch of Oran trees right now, so if we head north we should see some birches and hang the second right.”

Zack groaned, resting his back against a mossy rock. “Too bad everything looks the same.”

“I also have a topography map, a latitude map, and a map of Silph Co’s ventilation and teleporter system,” Milo said. “Never really understood their teleporter thing. Seems kinda bad for employee morale.”

They’d been wandering around Petalburg Woods all morning, and so far they’d had little luck making sense of their surroundings. Every tree looked the same, packed together so densely that it was almost impossible to tell where one tree ended and another began. He’d heard ghost stories of a forest in Sinnoh. According to the tales, it was always nighttime because the sun’s rays never reached the ground, making it a prime spot for ghosts to lure unsuspecting travelers to their dilapidated manor.

Dr. Magnezone fans loved using Sinnoh’s folklore and ghost stories as inspiration. Milo once saw Sara cry over a fanfic where Dr. Magnezone had to search for a Lunar Wing to relieve Time Infernape of a Darkrai-inflicted nightmare before the stress killed him.

“Hey, let’s break for a bit,” Melissa said. She laid down on a large protruding root. “I can’t wait to get out of forest territory.”

Milo found a cozy spot next to a fallen log, and Zack reclined against a tree trunk.

“Zack, there’s gotta be some spooky tales in Johto,” Milo said. “You should tell us one!”

“Yeah, spill!” Melissa prodded Zack in the arm.

Zack winced and rubbed his arm. “Do you cut your nails into claws or something?”

Melissa shrugged. “I jab hard, Underwood. You gonna tell us a ghost story or what?”

“Neither of you are gonna let up until I tell you one, huh?” Zack sighed.

“Nope!” Milo and Melissa chorused. Diogee looked up from his water bowl, red eyes boring expectantly into Zack.

“Fine,” Zack said. “This one isn’t for the faint of heart, so be warned.”

Milo and Melissa leaned forward in anticipation.

“Two millennia ago, a beautiful maiden fell in love with a soldier. One day, the soldier had to go fight in a distant land. As the maiden watched him disappear over the horizon, she swore she would never fall in love with anyone else, and that she would always look towards the ocean in anticipation of his return.”

Milo’s eyes started to water. Melissa gripped her skirt tightly.

“The years passed, but she still waited. Every suitor was turned down, all attempts to coax her away from the cliff failed. Eventually, a deity took pity on her. She agreed to be transformed into a statue atop the cliff so she could continue watching the horizon. The deity also appointed a messenger Pokémon to maintain the house and keep the maiden’s soul company while she kept her eternal vigil. To this day, she continues to wait and pray.”

Milo wiped away a stray tear, and Diogee had to carefully nudge him a few feet so a tree didn’t crash on top of him.

“That was…sad,” Melissa admitted. “How ‘bout something in the horror department to even it out?”

“Gimme a minute,” Milo said, burying his face into Diogee’s fur to calm himself down. “I got one.”

He took a deep breath, holding a flashlight under his chin for added dramatic effect. Zack drew a sharp breath.

“Once there was a little girl who lived in a cottage. Her mommy and daddy scrounged and begged and pleaded for scraps of food, for they were poorer than dirt,” Milo began, keeping his voice so low that Melissa and Zack had to strain to hear him.

He paced as he continued the story, feeling three sets of innocent eyes processing every word and movement. Milo smirked and continued. “One day, the little girl was left alone in the house. As she did her daily chores like any good child would do, she looked out the window. A doll laid in the dirt, its seams torn and one of its button eyes missing. It was ugly and nobody would’ve spared a second glance. But the little girl took pity on the doll and fixed it up with the only bolt of spare fabric her family had.”

“Oh no,” Zack whispered. Melissa elbowed him.

“When the last seam was closed, the doll offered to grant three wishes for the little girl. First, she wished that her family would never go hungry again. That night, her parents came home to find a feast fit for a royal banquet waiting for them. The little girl showed them the doll and explained what she’d done, and her parents were too grateful to question her any further. But trouble arose when the mother didn’t have material to make new clothes with, so the little girl asked the doll for endless wealth so her mother could purchase the finest and rarest silks and wool. The doll granted the second wish, and the family lived happily for many years.”

“The little girl grew into a beautiful woman, and she attracted the attention of a prince. They courted for a while, and the woman showed him the doll who’d saved her family from poverty. Disgusted by its horrible appearance, the prince broke off their engagement and rode away into the night. Because she still loved him, the woman asked the doll to grant her final wish: have the prince fall back in love with her. Once it was granted, the woman laid the doll on her childhood bed and went back to the castle. She planned to never return to the cottage and sever all ties with her poverty-filled life to make sure the prince stayed in love with her.”

Milo paused. The tension was thick enough to cut with a butter knife.

“The woman married the prince and forgot all about the doll. But the doll never forgot  _her._ It granted all her wishes without complaint. It kept her company for ten years. And now it laid in a dark room, never to see the sun again. Anger consumed its mind. Oh, how it thirsted for vengeance. It flew to the castle on an otherworldly energy, and there it spotted the woman, brushing her hair… _alone.”_

He could see the whites of Zack’s eyes, and Milo crept closer, curling his hands into claws and looming as best he could.

“It crept closer…closer…closer…” Milo punctuated each word with a silent step until he hovered over Zack. Zack pressed himself against the tree with a strangled yelp.

“-and then it POUNCED!”

_“AIYEEEH!”_

Milo pulled Zack to his feet, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. “Oh man!” Milo doubled over. “That was, ha! Got you real good!”

Zack just stared at him. “I didn’t scream.”

“Wasn’t me either,” Melissa said. “Believe me, you would know if Zack screamed cause he sounds like a plucked Swellow. Whoever screamed a few minutes ago has more of a tone-deaf Loudred combined with a sick Swablu frequency.”

“I don’t sound like a plucked Swellow,” Zack mumbled.

_“NO! DON’T TAKE MY PAPERS!”_

Everyone jumped to their feet as a terrified businessman rushed past their resting spot and tripped over a large root. His briefcase spilled open, papers fluttering all around him. He dazedly shoved them back into the briefcase, muttering several curses to himself.

“Hand over those papers, old man!” another voice snarled.

The other man was dressed in a lava-red uniform, a stylized ‘M’ emblazoned across his chest. His hood had two strange horns on top. Milo stared at him, wondering why someone would choose to wear a thick red onesie in Hoenn’s tropical climate.

Diogee growled menacingly, only backing off when Milo gestured for him to stand down until they figured out what happened.

“What’s going on here?” Melissa asked.

“He’s trying to rob me!” the businessman shouted. “I swear, all I did was stop to take pictures of a Shroomish-I’ve always liked that Pokémon, you see-and Hoodie there jumped me and tried to steal my documents!”

“How many times have I told you to quit calling me Hoodie? It’s Ignacio! I-G-N-A-C-I-O!”

His protests went ignored as the group collected all the stray papers and put them back into the suitcase.

“Thank you, children,” the businessman gasped breathlessly. “I’m just gonna be going now and-“

Ignacio scowled. “You aren’t going anywhere! Hand over those papers or face the wrath of Team Magma!”

He posed dramatically, which would’ve looked a lot more threatening if he’d chosen a target without knowledge of meme culture.

Ignacio released a Zigzagoon and Koffing. “You’ve trampled on Team Magma’s dreams, and that’s unforgivable! For I am the Magma Grunt Ignacio who stands for humanity’s brighter tomorrow! In the name of Groudon, I shall incinerate you!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be saying love and justice or something?” Melissa asked.

“I wanted to, but it was copyrighted,” Ignacio admitted. “Seriously, I’m not a monster. I respect copyright law.”

“Whatever. I’ll sit this one out, boys,” Melissa said, dragging the businessman out of the way. “While you kick his butt, I’ll be organizing my photos.”

“I don’t remember you taking photos,” Zack said.

Melissa smirked. “I work in mysterious ways.”

“Enough babbling!” Ignacio sneered. “You fools will know the wrath of the 27th ranked Magma goon!”

“That’s supposed to be a bragging point?” Zack scoffed as he sent out Treecko.

Treecko chewed on his stick placidly as he sized up his opponents. Diogee moved into position, eyes fixated on Koffing.

Living near Mt. Chimney had long acquainted Milo and Diogee with the local Pokémon and their habits. Machop liked to test their strength by weightlifting Geodude, and one should never disturb their contests unless they wanted 44.1 pounds of living rock hurtled at them. Numel preferred sand baths, and Torkoal could only distinguish between light and dark.

On the Murphy Ranch, they sometimes had to announce the Purple Protocol in the event of a Koffing wandering onto the property. Its smoke and poisonous gas was harmful to the developing lungs of young humans and Absol, so all minors were to stay inside until the adults had gotten rid of the smoke and contained the Koffing until it could be relocated.

And it had the only type advantage on the current battlefield.

This was gonna be interesting.

“Create a Smokescreen cover!” Ignacio ordered. “Zigzagoon, Quick Attack on Treecko!”

Black gas spewed out of Koffing’s pores, obscuring it from view. Treecko braced himself, eyes trained on the smoke.

There was a slight rustle in the bushes behind Treecko, and a blurred shape shot out.

“Look out!” Zack yelled.

Zigzagoon knocked Treecko off-balance, though Treecko managed to dislodge it with a Pound. Soon the two were engaged in a high-speed Quick Attack fight.

Meanwhile, Milo and Diogee were trying to locate Koffing inside all the black haze with no luck.

Ignacio smirked. “Use Sludge!”

“Diogee, watch out!” Milo warned, but it was too late. Diogee’s eyes were covered in an inky material. Rearing back on his hind legs, Diogee unleashed several Cut attacks in random directions. One of them hit Koffing in the middle of its skull pattern, and another clipped Treecko’s tail. Zigzagoon emerged unscathed, though it panted heavily from exertion.  

A pile of splintered wood and apples crashed to the ground. There were some indignant squawks from bird Pokémon above, but none of them came down to disrupt the battle.

Zack snapped his fingers. “Use Mega Drain on Zigzagoon and get your strength back,” he said.

Zigzagoon was too dazed to follow Ignacio’s instructions to dodge, and a bright green glow lit up its body. The energy flowed into Treecko’s fingertips, rejuvenating him instantly.

“Great! Now grab those apples and stuff ‘em into Koffing’s pores!” Zack exclaimed.

Upon hearing his command, Melissa stuffed her unfinished scrapbook into her bag and hauled the businessman to his feet. “Zack, you do realize-“

Zack had a gleam in his eye.

“Uh, Melissa, I think your battle style’s rubbing off on him,” Milo said awkwardly.

Treecko grabbed a handful of apples and weaved around Koffing, easily outmaneuvering the Poison-type. Within minutes, Koffing’s pores were plugged, Treecko dusting his hands triumphantly.

“C’mon, blow those apples out!” Ignacio screeched.

Koffing groaned, eyes squeezed shut as it tried to blow the apples out. But Treecko had jammed them tightly, and only minuscule amounts of gas leaked into the air. With one last inhale, a glowing Koffing dropped into Treecko’s arms.

Treecko blinked for a moment, then tossed Koffing at Zack and hid behind Melissa, who backed away slowly.

“ACK!” Zack screamed and tossed the Poison-type at Milo.

“It’s using Self-Destruct!” Milo yelped, striking Koffing with a two-handed serve that would’ve made a professional volleyball player proud.

The Koffing landed in the businessman’s arms. The man paled immediately. “GlorytoArceusinthehighest,” he muttered a prayer rapidly in some ancient language Milo wasn’t even sure existed in their dimension.

“Quit being a baby!” Melissa snapped, yanking Koffing out of his arms and hurling it at Ignacio’s face.

But since Melissa was Melissa, she only managed to toss it one foot.

Koffing unceremoniously fell to the ground, its glow almost blinding.

“Diogee, follow my voice!” Milo yelled, grabbing Diogee’s horn once he was close enough and guiding him out of the blast radius.

“COWARDS!” Ignacio shook his fist as everyone fled the immediate vicinity. “WE IN TEAM MAGMA ALWAYS STAND OUR GROUND! FOR WE ARE PILLARS OF HUMANITY, UNYIELDING IN RESOLVE AND PUTTING OUR FOOT DOWN ON ALL MATTERS AND CRUSHING THOSE WHO OPPOSE US!”

“We should put him and Patchy in a room together,” Melissa remarked. “Who needs primetime television when you’ve got them?”

“You might want to reconsider your foot position,” Milo called to Ignacio.

Ignacio glanced down, his eyes widening to comical proportions.

“Well, crud.”

Koffing exploded in a glorious blaze of white light.

“Don’t worry,” Melissa told the trembling businessman, who seemed convinced that he would be arrested for environmental disturbances and manslaughter. “It’s just his pride that didn’t survive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ghost of Maiden’s Peak took place in Kanto, not Johto, but they share the same landmass so what the hey.
> 
> Using Koffing as a beach ball is ill-advised.
> 
> And now Team Magma is on the scene! Things are picking up!


	9. Bonding Over Brunch! The Man Who Stepped Out of the 70s!

It took another hour and a lot of twisting, turning, and five narrowly averted disastrous fates before they stumbled out of Petalburg Woods alive. In hindsight, taking directions from a businessman who almost tripped face-first into Cascoon evolution grounds hadn’t been the best idea.

The path led to a long bridge that appeared to be a popular fishing spot for both fishermen and novice trainers. A fisherman yanked up a Magikarp, and Melissa had to grab Zack’s arm to stop him from retreating into the forest.

Zack gulped, eyeing the bridge suspiciously. “There aren’t guard rails on that thing! What’s stopping a Magikarp from feasting on the bones of a helpless passerby?”

“Don’t worry, bones aren’t in a Magikarp diet!” Milo exclaimed. “In Hoenn, Carvanha is the only unevolved fish Pokémon with enough jaw strength to even break a bone.”

Zack made a strange noise in the back of his throat.

“You’re great at this reassurance business,” Melissa drawled.

Milo smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I’ll leave the unnecessary horrifying details out next time.”

“We’re good,” Zack said. “I’m just gonna dip into my happy place for a moment and forget about the existence of fish Pokémon.”

“Can’t ignore them forever,” Melissa said. “Eastern Hoenn, remember?”

“Still a long way off. There’s plenty of time for me to procrastinate on confronting my fears.”

“Guys, I know you’re both a little cranky, but there’s nothing a little food won’t fix!” Milo pointed to a building labeled ‘Pretty Petal Flower Shop and Café’. A brilliant red flower framed the entrance, and several berry trees were lined up perfectly in a dirt field next to the pond.

“This isn’t over, Underwood,” Melissa growled. “I’m only dropping it cause food takes precedence.”

Zack crossed his arms. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Chase.”

A worker greeted them at the entrance. She gave them a dainty bow, her bright red hair bouncing with the motion. “Hello, welcome to Pretty Petal! My name’s Rita, and I’ll be helping you out today! We have a ton of great selections for traveling trainers, but first we ask that you either recall or release your Pokémon into the field. We also have outdoor seating if you need to keep a close eye on them.”

“I say field,” Melissa said. “Poochyena hasn’t really gotten acquainted with everyone else yet.”

“Field,” Milo agreed, knowing that Diogee would never willingly go into a Poké Ball.

“What they said,” Zack replied.

Rita beamed, leading them around the building and into a large enclosure. The gate was high and looked strong enough to withstand an entire herd of Lairon.

“Here we are!” Rita declared, sweeping her arm to a line of Pokémon bowls filled to the brim with kibble and berries. “Pokémon food is complimentary so they can chow down to their heart’s content!”

Diogee immediately dug into a bowl of sliced Pecha berries.

“Diogee!” Milo scolded. “Wait for your friends!”

Rita laughed. “Hungry little guy.”

Mudkip, Poochyena, Torchic, and Treecko were released, and they wasted no time in claiming a bowl for themselves.

“Okay, we’re going into the restaurant to eat, so behave yourselves,” Milo lectured. “We’ll come back for you in an hour or two.”

Only Treecko gave any indication that he heard Milo, since the others were too engrossed in an eating contest.

Rita playfully shooed them into the restaurant, gathering up menus as she passed by a podium. A large archway separated the café from the floral shop, though in terms of decorations the two areas were indistinguishable.

Milo noticed every customer in the restaurant had a glass filled with a colorful smoothie.

“Smoothies are a specialty here,” Rita explained when she caught him looking. “We raise the berries that go into them with a whole lotta TLC!”

She led them in a booth that had a huge metallic sunflower dangling precariously above their heads.

“Um, Rita?” Melissa said nervously, pointing up at the decoration. “Do you think we could be seated somewhere that doesn’t have an object with the potential to cause a concussion?”

Before Rita could respond, the ropes holding the sunflower snapped. The resulting crash drew everyone’s attention.

“Nothing to see here!” Melissa snapped at the curious onlookers. “Please return to your food!”

Several people quickly reseated themselves in tables without dangling objects.

“Sorry about that!” Rita quickly chirped. “Guess we got check that structural integrity, huh? How about over here?”

Zack moved a potentially breakable vase out of the way while Milo and Melissa settled in.

“Could you give us a few minutes?” Milo asked.

Rita put down the menus and hurried off to greet a family who’d just entered.

Melissa flipped to the smoothie section and pointed at one with a wicked smirk. “I dare somebody to try this one.”

_Try our Super Spicy Kiss Your Taste Buds Goodbye Smoothie!_

_Blended with hand-picked Tamato, Cheri, Razz, and Figy Berries!_

_Special note: We at Pretty Petal Flower Shop and Café will not be held liable for burning eyes and lips. Read the menu yourself before complaining, okay?_

“With our luck, I wouldn’t be surprised if it burned the flesh off our bones,” Zack said.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “What is with you and bones today?”

“He’s got a  _bone appetit_ ,” Milo claimed. He earned a punch to the shoulder for that.

Zack shrugged. “Can you really blame a guy for wanting to keep their insides on the inside?”

Even with Melissa and Zack bickering over the subject of bones at the lunch table, they all managed to find something on the menu by the time Rita came back to take their orders.

“Sitrus Berries are more acidic than Oran,” Rita said helpfully to Zack, who was having trouble deciding on his smoothie. “The Tropical Punch smoothie is all the rage these days. Nanab and Pinap Berries pair really well together, and-oh, Dakota, it’s been a while! How’ve you been?”

Dakota grinned lazily, slipping his hands into the pockets of his red and yellow tracksuit which reminded Milo heavily of ketchup and mustard. “Eh, same old thing. Just realized I left my other tracksuit in our…my old apartment. Had some important stuff in that one.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” Rita said sympathetically.

“Yeah,” Dakota agreed. “First time this week I had a chance to slip out from the rest of the team and this happens. These new trainers? Don’t think I’ve seen them around before.”

“This is our first time here. We really wanna try the smoothies,” Milo said.

Dakota nodded in approval. “Yeah, the smoothies are great. Especially the Tropical Punch one.”

“That’s what I ordered!” Milo exclaimed.

“You got good taste, kiddo,” Dakota said. Something buzzed in his pocket, and he ran his hand through his brown curls with a heavy sigh. “Sorry, I gotta take a call.”

“You wanna join us when you get back?” Zack offered.

Dakota agreed to the invitation rather quickly, then he headed to the bathroom to answer his cell phone.

“You kids are so nice,” Rita sighed. She lowered her voice so she could barely be heard above the bustle of the restaurant. “He went through a messy breakup recently. He and his partner were a bit of an odd couple, but they were so cute together. And lately he’s been working on a Pokémon habitat restoration project, but he’s been so distracted that he can’t focus on it. Just don’t tell him I told you all this, okay? Oh, and we already know what he likes to order so we’ll be fixing that up. I’ll go ahead and get these to the kitchen! Be back with your drinks soon!”

Once Rita left them alone, Melissa placed a finger on her lips. “Don’t mention the breakup to Dakota. We need to be sensitive.”

“Since when are you-“ Zack cut himself off when Melissa started cracking her knuckles. “Okay, sensitive! Got it!”

“He’s better than Sara,” Melissa said. “When Dr. Magnezone and Time Infernape broke off their partnership, she was sobbing on the floor with a gallon of double fudge ice cream.”

“Then she obsessively read angst fanfics for the next two weeks,” Milo added. “I think she was just making it harder on herself.”

Dakota came back in five minutes, and Rita dropped off their smoothies not long after that.

Milo, Melissa, and Zack glanced at each other awkwardly, waiting for someone to broach a topic of conversation. Dakota seemed oblivious to the atmosphere and sipped at his own smoothie.

Eventually, it was Milo who broke the silence. “Do you have any Pokémon?” he asked, figuring that talking about Pokémon was safe enough.

“Yeah, Sharpedo and Swalot. They’re good loyal partners,” Dakota said. There was a touch of bitterness in his tone though, one that made Milo wonder if inviting him to their table had been a good idea after all. “Huh. I can’t believe I forgot to ask your names. I would’ve been scolded for sure by-well, never mind.”

Milo pointed to each of his friends in turn. “I’m Milo, that’s Melissa, and the worrywart over there is Zack.”

Zack scowled. “I am not a worrywart.”

Melissa and Dakota snickered into their napkins.

“Melissa and I are childhood friends,” Milo continued. “We met Zack at the beginning of our journey. His dad was stuck in the middle of a lake cause this Patchy guy was releasing way too many Magikarp into the water, so we fought him off with Diogee and the Hoenn starters. It was so cool.”

“So you met Patchy then,” Dakota said casually. “Guy’s a real nutcase. He took initiation into the group way too seriously. Talking like a pirate was only required for the first three hours of membership.”

Melissa almost choked on her smoothie. “You know Patchy?”

Dakota shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich as soon as Rita set his plate on the table. “I’m his boss. We banned him from taking part in karaoke night. Couldn’t carry a tune. And he always insists on sea shanties.”

“So…what’s your occupation?” Zack asked, sounding like he’d prefer not to hear their answer.

“Boss of Team Aqua,” Dakota said.

Everyone stared at him blankly.

“Okay, so you’ve never heard of us. S’cool. We’re just trying to revive the ancient Pokémon Kyogre and make it rain enough to provide new habitats for Pokémon. Nothing more to it than that,” Dakota continued to eat his sandwich as if he hadn’t said he’d planned on disrupting the delicate balance of nature. “And between you and me, water’s a ton cooler than magma.”

“Obviously,” Zack muttered.

“So, uh, good luck with that?” Milo said.

“Thanks,” Dakota grinned. His phone buzzed frantically this time. He checked the caller ID. “Sav again. Sorry she keeps interrupting like this.”

He headed for the bathroom.

“Does he look like someone who’s trying to revive a legendary?” Zack asked.

“No, he looks like a displaced time traveler from the ‘70s,” Melissa said. “If I were trying to revive Kyogre, I’d at least wear blue to match.”

“He has more of a warm color aesthetic, I think. Fall colors,” Milo added.

They finished their meal without Dakota, and Milo signaled Rita over for their check.

“Dakota said you’d offered to pay for his meal,” Rita smiled as Melissa studied the receipt closely. “That’s really sweet, you know.”

The receipt crinkled in Melissa’s hand. “Where is he right now?” she asked pleasantly, though there was a dangerous edge in her voice.

Milo hauled Zack away from the table and towards the side door that led to the outdoor enclosure.

“Oh, he left a few minutes ago.”

_“HE DINED AND DASHED ON US?”_

Rita tapped her chin in thought. “Ah, I remember now! His partner used to have these really loud arguments with him outside cause he always forgot his wallet! Dakota must have a lot of tracksuits if he can never remember which one he put his wallet in!”

She laughed, completely oblivious to Melissa’s irritated glare.

Melissa slammed a wad of Pokédollars onto the table and stomped past Milo and Zack.

“Dakota owes me for the sandwich and smoothie,  _plus_ taxes and interest.”


	10. The Rustboro Pokémon School! The Friendly Unovan Rivalry Begins!

Rustboro City was the research and education hub of Hoenn. Its proximity to Petalburg Woods, Meteor Falls, and several aquatic habitats made it one of the most interesting places to live for the scientific community. It also happened to contain the university where the seasons of Professor Magezone and Adjunct Faculty Member Magnezone were filmed.

Milo made sure he appreciated the city of cobblestone while reassuring Zack that Magikarp weren’t out for blood and calming Melissa from Dakota’s earlier dine and dash stunt.

The Pokémon were meshing nicely with each other. Poochyena was hot-tempered but cooled down easily with a distraction. Mudkip only chewed on a thick rope Milo had given him. Diogee and Treecko liked to nap together. Torchic’s energy kept everyone on their toes.

“I can’t believe we get to see Mahlson Corp!” Milo exclaimed, admiring a tall brick building that towered above everything else in the city. “Even if it’s just the exterior! Melissa, make sure you’re getting all this!”

Melissa snapped a few photos on her phone. “Imagine the scoop journalists get with the Mahlson Corp,” she said. “Corporations of that size are always harboring secrets in their labs.”

“Like a lab-raised Pokémon that hates people,” Zack suggested.

“Technology that can open a portal to another dimension,” Milo added.

“Maybe some other time,” Melissa said. “We should get your Pokémon checked at the Center before your gym battle. That was always a pet peeve with Dad. Matches tend to go poorly for the challenger if they didn’t rest their Pokémon before the battle.”

* * *

 

There was a crowd outside of the Pokémon Center. People cheered at a fiery symbol emblazoned in the air above them.

“Excuse me!” Milo said as he pushed in front of a Gloom. The Gloom made an indignant noise at having its view blocked.

Zack followed Milo’s lead, but Melissa took no issue in jabbing people with her elbow.

“Thank you for all your attention!” a female voice exclaimed. “For my final act, I will now select a member of the audience to participate! Which one of you lucky trainers will share the spotlight?”

Milo and Zack stumbled to the front at the same time, where they had a clear view of the performers and their Pokémon. One girl wore orange and yellow, while the other was dressed almost entirely in magenta.

The girl in orange grinned at the newcomers. “Hey, I recognize you!” she exclaimed to Zack.

Zack frowned. “Have we met before?”

“Not in real life, but I’ve seen your music video! You obviously know how to captivate a crowd!” she yelled. Zack winced slightly. She didn’t seem to have much volume control. “Let’s give them a grand finale to remember! So, what Pokémon do you have?”

“What music video?” Milo asked.

“I’ll tell you later!” Zack yelled as the girl dragged him into position. “Anyways, I just have a Treecko, so-“

The girl blinked. “That’s perfect! A sensational Pokémon for sure! And adorable to boot! So, uh, Amanda! What’s a Treecko?”

Amanda groaned. “Lydia, I told you to read that book on native Hoenn Pokémon! We had eight hours on the plane!”

Lydia smiled guiltily. “They had Dusknoir of the Opera for in-flight entertainment! How could I resist? Dusknoir and Primarina are such a cute couple!”

“She’s better off with Gallade and you know it!” Amanda retorted.

Lydia rolled her eyes. “He’s nice and all, but Dusknoir has the more interesting dynamic.”

“Anyway, Treecko is the Grass-type starter of Hoenn. You would know that if you opened the book,” Amanda said.

“Perfect! Grass and Fire complement each other like PB&J, you know,” Lydia said. “Let’s get our flames on, Tepig!”

Tepig snorted several embers, stomping its hoof. Zack sent out Treecko, though at a distance so he didn’t receive a burn.

“And raise your Surskit better, would you?” Melissa shouted over her shoulder as she finally caught up to Milo and Zack. Her hair had puffed out so much that she resembled a Pyroar. “Sorry I’m late. Some guy’s Surskit used Bubble on me after I knocked him out of the way. Make any comments about my hair and I will end you.”

Treecko used his newly-learned Bullet Seed to create a pattern on the ground, while Tepig cloaked itself in flames and stomped on each seed, setting it ablaze. Under Lydia’s direction, Tepig added several twirls and zigzags to embellish its performance. Within minutes, the flames burned out, revealing an ash-covered smiley face to the audience.

“Thank you!” Lydia cheered with a bow. “Let’s give it up for Tepig, Treecko, and Zack! If you wanna see more of my lovely Tepig, please come to the Rustboro Contest in two days’ time!”

While the crowd dispersed, Amanda frantically flipped through a planner. “Lydia, I only set aside ten minutes for one of your street performances!” she yelled. “We only have twenty minutes to get Minccino into a check-up and be on time for class!”

“I thought you were trainers,” Zack said. “You still have school?”

“Is your class at the Rustboro Pokémon School?” Melissa asked.

Amanda nodded. “I wanted to learn more about Hoenn before setting off. Lydia only agreed because she heard they’d be holding a Contest in this city.”

“I’ve never been good at book learning,” Lydia admitted.

“The Rustboro Pokémon School is often a recommended stop for beginning trainers,” Melissa continued. “They usually teach about basic care, type effectiveness, and careers that center heavily on Pokémon. We’d have to stop there anyway, because the gym leader also serves as a principal. Dad says she hasn’t been the same since the teacher’s convention in Celadon City.”  

“Speaking of teachers, we only have sixteen minutes!” Amanda yelled. “Nice to meet everyone, but we need to get in line!”

“But-“ Lydia protested.

Amanda cut her off with a sharp yank, dragging her into the Pokémon Center. Moments later, an ear-splitting screech filled the air, forcing Milo to pull out an umbrella to protect everyone from a burst window.

“We’ll never make it back in time,” Amanda muttered as Milo walked in, avoiding the door’s splintered frame. A long line stretched all the way to the desk, made up of many annoyed people and Pokémon whose ears were still ringing from Amanda’s scream.

“Coach Mitchell won’t notice,” Lydia tried. “He’ll be too busy brainstorming ways to beat Principal Milder’s record in the Game Corner. Remember yesterday when he tried to borrow Ms. Camilichec’s Persian so he could use Pay Day to have an infinite supply of coins?”

Amanda stared at her planner, mumbling ways to salvage her schedule for the rest of the day.

“If you want, I can take Minccino for the next hour or two,” Milo offered. “My Pokémon need to be in tip-top shape for their gym battle anyway.”

“Good idea!” Lydia exclaimed. “You hear that, Amanda? You get to class on time, Minccino gets her check-up, everyone wins!”

Amanda clutched her Poké Ball, looking rather doubtful. “And you’ll give Minccino back?” she asked, a suspicious edge in her voice.

“Yup!” Milo said.

“I’ll vouch for Milo here,” Melissa said. “He doesn’t know how to lie well.”

Zack and Diogee also added their own testimonies to Milo’s character, though Diogee seemed to be begging for treats during his turn.

Still looking nervous, Amanda released Minccino from her Poké Ball. A small, fluffy Pokémon emerged, shaking out her tail as she yawned.

“Minccino, do you mind if I head back to class?” Amanda asked. “This boy and his friends offered to look after you for a bit. It’s just an hour or two, and I’ll hang onto your Poké Ball! I really don’t want to miss this lesson cause it has to do with preparing Pokémon food.”

“Hi there,” Milo said, kneeling next to Minccino when she just stared at him. He pulled out a Sitrus Berry and his Pokédex, then offered the berry to Minccino. She cautiously sniffed it, then took an experimental bite. Minccino squealed happily, scarfing down the rest of the berry.

_“Minccino, the Chinchilla Pok_ _émon. This Pok_ _émon is highly recommended for parents who are sick of picking up after their messy teenagers who can’t be bothered to clean their room when they’re told.”_

Lydia frowned. “Are all Hoenn Pokédexes weird like that?”

“Nah, just Milo’s,” Zack sighed. “It has a mind of its own.”

“So you’ll be okay with Milo?” Amanda asked.

Minccino nodded, patting her tail against Milo’s leg with a happy squeak.

“You don’t normally like new people off the bat,” Amanda said. “Are you sure?”

“Oh, quit worrying!” Lydia said, grabbing Amanda’s arm and hauling her outside. “Minccino likes him just fine! She’s in good hands!”

“Don’t eat too much! I’m trying out that new recipe, remember?” Amanda shouted as Lydia dragged her away. “And be nice to Milo and his friends! And-“

Her reminders faded away.

Minccino stuck close to Milo while they waited, resting on his shoulder with her tail curled around her body. Her paw flashed out every time Diogee reared up on his hind legs to get a closer look.

“What’s your plan for the gym leader?” Melissa asked. “I heard she uses Rock-types.”

“Well, I’ve got Mudkip, but she probably has a counterstrategy for him,” Milo said. “It’ll definitely be interesting though!”

“Trainers are always challenging the Lavaridge Gym with Water-types,” Melissa said. “They think they can just douse a Fire-type to win. But they’re always unprepared for Sunny Day, which reduces the power of Water attacks.”

“Johto Gym Leaders are notoriously easy to beat with a Fire-type,” Zack said. “Honestly, I’m surprised none of them thought of teaching Rain Dance to their Pokémon.”

Once they made it to the front desk, Milo released Mudkip from his Poké Ball. “I’m planning to challenge the gym, and I want to be sure Mudkip and Diogee are ready,” he said, removing Minccino from his shoulder and setting her next to Mudkip. “Oh, and this is my friend’s Minccino. Amanda just wants her to be healthy. I don’t think she’s taking part in any huge battle though.”

“No problem!” the nurse beamed, turning to her Pokémon partner. “Chansey, take these three Pokémon to Room D and do a basic examination on them.”

A smiling Chansey ushered them into the back, closing the door behind her.

“Please have a seat in the lobby while you wait,” the nurse said.

“Actually, there’s one more thing,” Zack said. “How do you take part in a Contest?”

Milo and Melissa glanced at him in surprise. “I thought you didn’t have a goal yet,” Melissa said.

“I still don’t,” Zack admitted. “But Treecko seemed to be having fun in front of a crowd. And Lydia mentioned she was taking part in a Contest.”

“Are you going to make another music video?” Milo asked.

Zack sputtered indignantly, muttering something unintelligible about how ‘those days are behind me’ and ‘I can’t deal with another prop ax’.

"If you plan on competing, you'll need to register for a regional Contest Pass. It'll be good for any Hoenn contest but won't work outside the region. I can handle the registration here if you have your Pokédex," Nurse Joy explained. 

Zack inserted his Pokédex into the slot she indicated. Nurse Joy typed several commands into her computer, and a plastic card popped out of a nearby printer. She took the card and laid it on top of a bright red case. Then she handed both to Zack. 

"Present the card to the attendant and they'll let you in. This ribbon case will hold the proof of your contest victories. You'll need to collect five ribbons to be allowed entry into the Grand Festival." 

Zack gulped, taking the card and case gingerly. He removed his Pokédex from the slot. "Five ribbons!" he laughed nervously. "No prob, totally not feeling pressured already!" 

"Just do your best and have fun!" Nurse Joy called with a smile as Milo hauled Zack over to a bench in the lobby. 

Zack's legs never seemed to work when he was nervous. His mouth had frozen into a rather creepy half-smile. 

Melissa stomped on his foot, causing Zack to yelp and recoil in pain. "You were creeping me out," Melissa retorted when Zack glared at her. 

"How come you didn't tell us you wanted to be a coordinator?" Milo asked. 

Zack sighed. "I don't know. Not even my parents know. They'll probably find out if the contest is televised, but I don't want to tell them yet. And I thought it would be nice to perform with a Pokémon, and not just use them as a prop to make special effects with." 

Before Milo and Melissa could ask more questions, the doors burst open. A Shroomish and Minun held themselves high as they marched into the lobby. They were a bit roughed-up, but they looked exceedingly proud of themselves. 

Bradley followed them inside, smirking as he sauntered over to the nearest group of trainers. 

"Shroomish and Minun have the right to be proud of themselves," Bradley boasted. "After all, we did get the Stone Badge." 

He proudly displayed a small piece of metal, holding it above his head for everyone to see. As the trainers around him began asking questions about his challenge, the back doors swung open and Mudkip, Diogee, and Minccino dashed out. A Chansey called out to them with a stern look on her face, and the trio slowed down, walking back to Milo with slightly guilty expressions. 

"Aw, it's alright," Milo said. "Mudkip and Diogee, have you been cleared for battle?" 

Mudkip and Diogee cheered. 

"Minccino, you're all healthy?" Milo asked. 

Minccino nuzzled his hand. 

Milo grinned. "Alright then, it's off to the Pokémon School! Who's ready to earn a badge?" 

In his excitement, Mudkip jumped and darted around the lobby, weaving between people's legs and barely avoiding the cables to a TV mounted to the wall. The moment came to a crashing halt when Mudkip didn't avoid Bradley in time, sending him sprawling to the floor with a surprised grunt. 

The badge slipped out of his hands, rolling away until it stopped near Milo's shoes. Milo picked it up and rushed over to Bradley, helping him up while Shroomish and Minun shot Mudkip some incredibly furious looks. 

"Mudkip, say you're sorry," Milo said sternly. "You have to be more careful in a Pokémon Center. Hurt Pokémon come in all the time and their trainers would be very upset with you if you crashed into them." 

Mudkip wilted, then squeaked an apology. 

"Fine, I accept. Don't make this more awkward," Bradley muttered, pulling away from Milo. He snatched the Stone Badge away once he realized it was in Milo's hand. "And that's my badge, thank you." 

"Looks like your challenge went well," Milo smiled, though Bradley scowled further. "What did the gym leader use?" 

Bradley crossed his arms. "That's classified information. Since you're challenging her, I think I might just stay in town and watch you lose." 

"Fair enough," Milo called as Bradley stomped out of the Pokémon Center in a huff. Shroomish and Minun followed behind him, just as irritated as their trainer. 

“Who spat in that guy's milk?”  Zack scoffed. 

“I don't care,” Melissa said as she scribbled several notes into her pad. “But a grumpy rival could definitely add a little pizazz to my little project.”

* * *

 

“Welcome to the Rustboro Pokémon School!” a secretary greeted. “How may I be of assistance today?”

“Is Amanda here? I’d like to return her Minccino,” Milo asked, gesturing to the fluffy Pokémon on his shoulders.

The secretary nodded, picking up a microphone on her desk. “Right, Amanda asked me to keep an eye out for you. I’ll call her to the front.”

She pushed a button, and the intercom emitted a horrible ringing noise that seemed to reverberate through the walls of the building. Diogee and Minccino screeched in pain, Zack writhing on the floor in agony. Milo and Melissa winced, covering their ears until the sound passed. While they’d dealt with plenty of malfunctioning electronics before, the ringing was something they’d never get used to.

“Sorry!” the secretary yelped. “I have no idea what happened! Sure, we haven’t had much money since the schoolboard bought that yacht, but our equipment is always somewhat functional!”

“It’s alright,” Melissa said, cutting in before the secretary could go into a full-blown panic mode. “Do you have any idea where Amanda is?”

The secretary’s nose scrunched up in thought. “She seems to have taken a shine to our cooking classrooms. Really likes that Basil Bravo guy. Never liked his show myself, always seemed a bit airheaded to me. But hey, to each their own. First floor, rooms 16-19 are all kitchen setups.”

Milo thanked her, and Minccino hopped off his shoulder and scurried ahead. It seemed Minccino had an innate sense for her trainer’s whereabouts, since she nosed her way into Room 17 and beelined straight for Amanda, clinging to her leg with a delightful squeak.

“Oof, I’m happy to see you, Minccino,” Amanda said, quickly setting down a bowl of flour so she could hug Minccino back.

“Told you!” Lydia proclaimed. “She’s happy and healthy! Nothing to worry about here!”

Tepig stomped his hoof, nosing Lydia’s hand back onto his head.

Lydia laughed. “Oh, you’re just a little attention seeker.”

“Yup, no issues at all,” Milo agreed. “You’ve got a great Pokémon there.”

Amanda’s attention returned to the bowl she’d been stirring. “Thanks. I’m glad she likes you. Normally it takes a while for her to warm up to new people.”

Lydia nodded. “Amanda and I are from Unova. Castelia City, to be exact. It’s ginormous. We spent a lot of time exploring the city before we became Pokémon trainers. Our journeys were delayed by a few years because of this Pokémon liberation group. Lots of people thought we shouldn’t train or work with Pokémon anymore. Said it was cruel to treat them as servants.”

“My family’s worked alongside Absol for generations,” Milo said. “We don’t treat them as servants.”

“Gym leaders, firefighters, doctors, and researchers all rely on the partnership of a loyal Pokémon,” Zack added.

Melissa crossed her arms. “Guys, it’s great that you have strong bonds with your Pokémon. But not everyone sees it that way. All the crime syndicates that were taken down over the years? Pokémon are just tools to them.”

“Anyway, the liberation group held a protest at the city plaza. They mass-released a ton of Pokémon and left. A lot of the Pokémon were super-confused and the police department had their hands full trying to rehabilitate them cause they weren’t used to living in a big city. Amanda and I found Minccino the day after the protest. She was scared and her fur was dirty. We brought her to Nurse Joy. She said Minccino had most likely been captured in a forest by the Pokémon liberation group, then released during their protest.”

Amanda forcefully cracked an egg against the rim of her bowl, setting aside the shells and taking up her spoon. “I was twelve. I could legally own a Pokémon. I figured taking responsibility for Minccino would prove that I could be a trainer. My parents thought that my…strict adherence to schedules would hinder me, and it took months for them to finally buy the plane tickets to Hoenn.”

Melissa patted Amanda’s shoulder in sympathy. “Parent problems. Gotta love ‘em, right?”

“Yeah,” Amanda sighed. She finished stirring her mixture, then poured it into a tin. “Basil Bravo said that cooking is bringing harmony to all ingredients. Serving is bringing harmony to everyone who eats the finished product. I decided Hoenn would be the best place to begin practicing those words.”

Zack coughed, and everyone’s eyes flicked over to him. He squirmed under the attention. “On a lighter note, I have my Contest Pass now.”

A scream pierced the room, and Lydia quickly enveloped Zack in a hug. She shrieked, jumping up and down in excitement while poor Zack could only wonder what he’d just unleashed. Tepig sniffed disdainfully and turned his back to them.

“Ohmygoshohmygosh!” Lydia screamed. “We can be coordinator buddies now and share appeal round tips and compete and…wait, are we buddies or rivals? Wait, I’ve got it! We’ll be budivals! Yeah, that totally works! I can’t believe this! I’m a budival with  _the_  Zack Underwood of the Lum-“

Zack clamped his hand over her mouth. “Hey, Milo, I bet you’re just dying to have your battle now! How ‘bout we go find the gym leader? That badge has your name on it! Not literally, but you know what I mean!”

He shoved Milo out the door, feet scuffing against the ground when Milo clung to the doorframe.

“Hey, do you know where we can find the gym leader?” Milo called to Lydia. He felt Zack shove his back several times, the last push dislodging him from the wood and sending him tumbling to the ground. A weight crashed onto his backpack, and Zack let out a wheeze as the air was knocked out of his lungs.

“What do you keep in here? Anchors?” Zack groaned, stumbling to his feet.

Milo dusted himself off. “Two actually. You never know when you need to secure yourself for freak windstorms.”

“I need to keep an eye on my Poképuffs,” Amanda said. “But Lydia can take you.”

Lydia nodded. “Principal Milder usually checks on the classes around this time. We’ll be able to catch her. C’mon, Tepig! Let’s put that sniffer to good use!”

She pried Tepig’s hooves away from the oven and carried him out of the room.

“It’s not gonna cook faster if you watch it,” Lydia said. “It’ll be ready soon though, don’t worry. In the meantime, can you sniff out Principal Milder for us? We all know she keeps that Sweet Scent perfume in her desk. Shouldn’t be too hard to find her.”

* * *

 

The group quickly found out that relying on a Pokémon with an acute sense of smell and an appetite to rival a hundred Munchlax led to Tepig picking up scents of food in people’s backpacks. After the tenth time, Melissa called upon Poochyena to help in the search, promising him a tasty reward if he could help them find Principal Milder.

After an hour of scouring all three floors, multiple dead ends, and a ten-minute break, they finally decided to check Principal Milder’s office. Milo and Lydia dragged Zack between them, who’d been hit with a Zubat’s Supersonic and was now muttering nonsense to himself.

Melissa held the door open while Milo and Lydia maneuvered Zack into the office, accidentally knocking Zack’s head on a nearby cabinet. Diogee, Tepig, and Poochyena steered clear of their trainers, heading straight for a comfortable couch they could all fit on.

Zack giggled. “I want the green one. It feels like asparagus.”

“Yeah, that knock won’t be doing wonders for his head,” Melissa muttered.

“We really should’ve just come to the office first,” Milo said sheepishly.

Principal Milder tapped her long nails against the desk impatiently, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she held a phone away from her ear. “Look, I just did my rounds of the school. My challenger today kept shoving his new badge in everyone’s face, and Mitchell is trying to use Pay Day to beat MY record at the Game Corner. So, no, I’m not in the mood to hear about how Lilycove Prep is way better than us hardworking Rustboro folk. If you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. Good day.”

“Um, hi,” Lydia said awkwardly. “We were just looking for you.”

Milder slowly scooted her chair away from Zack, who was now convinced that she was Fireflower from the My Lovely Ponyta series.

“Zack, she’s not Fireflower. Stop it,” Melissa said, dragging him off the desk before Milder’s self-preservation instincts led her to jump out the window.

“He was hit by Supersonic,” Milo offered as an explanation.

“He’s normally calmer than this,” Lydia agreed.

Milder settled back against her chair, some of the tension draining out of her shoulders. “Alright, now that we’ve established how I’m not a toy Ponyta with a brushable mane, may I ask what you’re doing here?”

“I wanted to ask for a gym battle. But if your Pokémon need rest, I don’t mind waiting,” Milo said.

Milder sighed. “Well, at least you’re considerate. I’m not taking any more matches this week though. I need to visit Mauville, and my reasons will not be disclosed to minors.”

“You’re going to the Game Corner,” Melissa guessed.

“No, I’m going to a family-friendly and not at all morally ambiguous establishment,” Milder said.

“You’re seriously refusing to battle Milo because you have a grudge against someone for beating your high score,” Melissa replied.

Milder’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I once knew a kid who kept asking all sorts of questions that weren’t any of his business. And you know what happened to him?”

“He either became a lawyer or investigative journalist,” Melissa guessed. 

“Actually, he did become a lawyer but that’s beside the point,” Milder said in irritation.

Silence reigned while Milder tried to follow up with another comeback, but she came up empty.

Finally, Milder gave in. “If I delegate my gym leader duties to someone else, will you battle them instead? Same rules apply. Only the challenger can switch Pokémon, no destroying the building, and you earn the badge when you win. Deal?”

Figuring that Milder probably wasn’t willing to negotiate, Milo decided to just accept her terms. “Deal. So who am I battling?”

Before Milder could answer, the ground split open, revealing a man with a dirt-streaked face. He was dressed like a miner, though Milo was pretty sure miners didn’t smell like sewer water.

“Sassafras!” the stranger exclaimed, frowning when everyone stared at him. “Oh, that’s not right. What do Overlanders generally say when they accidentally drill a hole in someone’s office while trying to hunt for discarded fast food wrappers?”

“Sorry?” Milo suggested.

The man regarded Milo for a second, looking rather confused. “For what? Oh, no, you’re right! It’s sorbet!”

Milder buried her face in her hands, already regretting her decision. “Close enough. Kids, meet Scott the Undergrounder. He lives in the sewers under Rustboro.”

Scott waved at them. “Hey, you kids want some half-eaten burritos? I can heat them over the toilet if you’d like!”

Lydia looked visibly ill, so Milder quickly moved the conversation along, “Now, do you mind battling Milo in my place? I’m delegating you with my responsibilities as gym leader for his challenge. If he wins, you’ll give him the Stone Badge. Got it?”

“Sure, Mildred gets restless if she can’t exercise!” Scott exclaimed. “Lemme grab her and we’ll start this popsicle stand!”

He disappeared, singing a jaunty tune he’d made up.

“That Dunsparce looked like a weird man,” Zack observed helpfully.

“May Arceus help you all,” Milder said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Zack really gets put through the wringer in this one. 
> 
> Amanda and Lydia debut is here! Yes, the Pokemon liberation group they’re talking about is Team Plasma! The way I see it, Amanda and Lydia’s journeys were delayed because Team Plasma’s ideas became very prominent, which led to some parents not wanting their kids to train Pokemon. While Amanda and Lydia found Minccino together, Minccino bonded to Amanda because cleaning and organizing go hand in hand, and Amanda’s personality was just a better match overall. Lydia received her Tepig in Nuvema Town, then they headed off to Hoenn.


	11. Milo’s First Gym Battle! The Unpredictable Substitute Gym Leader!

Classes ground to a halt whenever a gym battle took place. Every student and teacher in the school gathered in the bleachers surrounding the battlefield. Even a class of six-year-olds from a nearby primary school had come over to watch. Their teacher wasn’t too pleased with the disruption though. She was busy giving Mrs. Murawski, a teacher at the Rustboro School and referee for the gym battle, an earful about the proper times to allow a gym battle so her students could focus on their lessons. 

“-YOU TRAINERS, AWFUL AT REMEMBERING THAT MATH AND READING ARE JUST AS VITAL!” 

Mrs. Murawski sighed dreamily at the desk she’d carried down herself, ignoring the other teacher completely. 

“-STOP FONDLING THAT DESK LEG AND PAY ATTENTION! MY STUDENTS CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A SIMPLE BERENSTAIN BEARTIC BOOK CAUSE OF YOU!” 

Since the gym battle would be delayed until those two sorted out their drama, Melissa and Lydia took the opportunity to review strategies with Milo, while Zack and Amanda distracted Scott from potentially overhearing them and coming up with a counter. 

Supersonic had finally worn off on Zack, but he seemed just as confused as to why Scott was throwing empty candy wrappers into the air like they were flower petals. 

“Don’t let him tire your Pokémon out,” Lydia suggested. “Principal Milder used the same tactic earlier on a boy’s Shroomish. He lucked out, you know. Effect Spore decided to activate when she tried finishing the battle with Tackle. Nosepass went right to sleep and couldn’t block Bullet Seed. If you ask me, he didn’t deserve that badge.” 

“Black hair, glasses, sarcastic, and rude?” Melissa asked. 

“Plaid gray shirt too,” Lydia shuddered. “No fashion sense at all.” 

“I can hear you!” a voice protested from the stands. 

Milo waved at Bradley, who scowled back fiercely. His Shroomish and Minun were playing an odd game of rock-paper-scissors together, ignoring their trainer’s grudge against Milo. 

Well, it looked like rock-paper-scissors, but Milo wasn’t sure how Shroomish managed the appropriate shapes without hands. 

“Hey, you came!” Milo exclaimed. “I bet you’re just as excited as me!” 

“I’m excited to watch you lose,” Bradley said, adding an eye roll for good measure. He turned his attention to Lydia. “And this shirt is part of the Gothitelle Boutique winter line. It’s fashionable.” 

“Sure, if your definition of fashionable includes rainclouds hanging above your head and spreading a mission of doom and gloom,” Lydia retorted.

Bradley flicked his hand dismissively and sat down, still glaring at Milo while he scratched Minun’s ear.

Milo wasn’t sure if Bradley was trying to emulate one of those jerk rival archetypes from Sara’s favorite anime, because he seemed to run more along the lines of grumpy guys with soft spots for non-humans. 

“You’ll do great,” Melissa said. “Just remember, Zack and I are right behind you…and the protective shield.” 

The shield was mostly there to protect spectators from barrages of dirt, water, and other attacks, but it would be good protection against Murphy’s Law as well. 

“You can do it, Milo!” Amanda cheered. Minccino squealed in encouragement, perching on Amanda’s head for a better view. 

Milo took his position on the battlefield. Diogee stood next to him, his front legs trembling with excitement. Milo grinned. 

“You’ll get your chance, but I’d like to lead with Mudkip,” Milo told him. 

Diogee fixed Milo with a red-eyed stare, his chest heaving in a deep sigh.

“Save the best for last, remember?” Milo asked. 

Diogee’s chest puffed out with pride. 

The irate primary school teacher finally gave up berating Murawski and stalked off the field, muttering some very unkind things about Milder’s hiring choices. 

Murawski draped herself across her desk, holding a megaphone in one hand while supporting herself with the other. Milo took the opportunity to set her up with a protective shield of her own as she announced the rules of the gym battle.

“This is a match between Scott, designated gym leader, and Milo, our challenger!” Murawski shouted into the megaphone. “This will be a two-on-two battle and no- _SCREEE_!” 

Her last word turned into a high-pitch wail that made everyone cover their ears. 

“Sorry! Technical malfunction! Happens all the time!” Murawski giggled nervously, a strange snort coming out of her nose. 

Once he was finished with the shield, Milo set two extra megaphones on the ground next to her desk. “You’ll want those,” he said. 

Murawski took it in stride and shooed him back into position. 

“-no substitutions are allowed. Scott has been given authority to issue the Stone Badge if the challenger wins.” 

“Pumice or feldspar?” Scott asked, digging around in his hard hat, which appeared to be full of small rocks. 

“Do you even have the Stone Badge on your person?” Murawski asked, aiming the megaphone in his direction. 

“My person is Mildred!” Scott exclaimed. 

Murawski stared at him for a few moments, and when he offered no further explanation, she turned her attention to a group of students in the stands. “Allison, grab a Stone Badge from Milder’s office. It’s in the desk, first drawer on your left.” 

Allison ran off and came back with the Stone Badge in record time, evidently not wanting to delay the match any further. 

Murawski stored the badge in her desk for safekeeping. “Commence the battle, and I swear if any of you hurts my little desky-poo…” 

She let the threat hang in the air, then raised a green flag to signal the beginning of the match. 

“Mudkip, let’s do our best!” Milo shouted, sending the Poké Ball flying. Mudkip used Water Gun on his Poké Ball in a display of power and sent it hurtling straight for the megaphone in Murawski’s hand. 

“Save me, desk!” Murawski shrieked, ducking underneath for cover as the Poké Ball shattered the megaphone upon impact. The megaphone released a final screech as its final cry before falling silent. 

“The blue-finned one’s your new friend, Cynthia!” Scott exclaimed, gently setting an orange juice carton down several feet in front of him. 

Milo glanced at the audience, but most of them didn’t look too surprised at Scott’s choice. Zack, Lydia, and Amanda all had to strain Melissa from marching down to Scott and decking him for breaking the sacred rules of battle. 

“Scott, the rulebook clearly states that orange juice cartons are not Pokémon,” Murawski sighed. “Neither are motorbikes, cupholders, or Pikipek.” 

“You mean the native bird of Alola?” Melissa asked, looking up from the notebook she was writing in. 

“Pikipek are evil. They will devour your desks in seconds and have your backup desk as dessert. They are not of this world,” Murawski’s voice dropped to a low hiss, stunning everyone into silence. 

Except for Scott, who just threw his arms up in the air. “It’s the inside that counts!” he exclaimed. 

A green pile of goo oozed out of the carton, reshaping itself into a blobby Pokémon. It smiled at Mudkip, revealing two peg-shaped teeth. 

Milo was no stranger to Grimer, since they lived inside the caves surrounding Mt. Chimney. But he’d never seen a green one before. 

“Milo!” Melissa shouted from the stands. “Alolan Grimer are Poison and Dark type! It’s even more weak to Ground than the ones at Mt. Chimney!” 

“Don’t give him info!” Bradley scoffed. “I’m trying to watch him lose!” 

He was immediately met by four outraged protests. “Quiet, Bradley!” 

Bradley sank further into his seat, grumbling about unlawful interference. 

“Use Mud Slap!” Milo shouted, deciding to open with a super effective move to see how Mudkip fared. 

Mudkip slammed his paws into the rocky ground and released twin jets of mud, which arched towards Cynthia. 

“Make yourself pretty and share your makeup with the blue-finned one!” Scott yelled. 

Cynthia’s body glowed blue and vanished in the blink of an eye. The mud streams hit the ground, leaving a rather ugly splotch of greenish-brown gunk. Before Milo could blink, Cynthia materialized behind Mudkip and spat a glob of acid at him. Mudkip yelped as the sludge hit his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” Milo asked as Mudkip staggered. 

Mudkip nodded. He wasn’t poisoned for now, but that could change at any moment. 

“Make yourself even prettier!” Scott exclaimed. 

“Try another Mud Slap!” Milo yelled. 

Mud Slap clipped Cynthia’s arm, but didn’t cause enough damage to surprise her. 

Unfortunately, the protective shields did nothing to protect spectators from attacks above their heads. Screams erupted from the stands as people used backpacks, jackets, and each other to block the sludge Cynthia haphazardly lobbed as she zoomed all over the gym. It splattered all over the protective shields, making Murawski shriek and cover her desk protectively. 

Cynthia bounced off the walls at high speeds, leaving small piles of goop behind wherever she landed. Diogee ducked into a small area under the bleachers, dutifully avoiding the sludge piles as he curled up. 

“I’ll call you when it’s your turn!” Milo shouted to Diogee, quickly putting on safety goggles to protect his eyes. 

Scott chuckled at the chaotic scene. “We’re making art! Don’t forget your subject, Cynthia!” 

Cynthia lobbed several globs of sludge at Mudkip, but Mudkip blocked them all with well-aimed Water Gun attacks. However, this didn’t deter Cynthia in the slightest. 

Milo knew he had to do something before Mudkip got too tired to track her. He flicked a stray candy wrapper that had blown onto his shoe. 

There were a lot of candy wrappers on the ground. 

Vaguely, Milo recalled his dad’s wise sayings about Grimer. 

_“Grimer love trash of any kind. So if the Bouffalant painting behind us mysteriously disappears one day, I deny any involvement in allowing a Grimer to eat it.”_

Granted, the Bouffalant painting hadn’t disappeared under mysterious circumstances yet, but the point still stood.

While Cynthia and Scott were fixated on creating an acidic portrait of a Dustox on the shields, Milo called Mudkip over. Mudkip bounded him up to him, shaking the sludge off his tail. 

“Mudkip, I want you to gather every candy wrapper you can find and put it into a pile. And don’t call Scott’s attention to you,” Milo said. “We have to get Cynthia in one place to hit her. She’s too fast with that double Rock Polish.”

Once Mudkip collected a sizable amount and piled it all into the middle of the field, Milo ordered a Water Gun to get Cynthia and Scott into battle mode. Mudkip stayed near the pile of wrappers, dodging Sludge attacks until Scott finally called for Bite. 

Now that Rock Polish had mostly worn off, Cynthia wasn’t as swift in her movements and Mudkip easily sidestepped her gaping maw. Cynthia crashed into the wrappers, though she wasn’t hurt by the impact and immediately started munching on the wrappers. 

“You’ll ruin your dinner!” Scott shouted. “Don’t you want roast leftover meatloaf on a stick?” 

Cynthia paid him no mind. 

Milo grinned. “She’s in position! Fire at will!” 

Just as Cynthia dropped the last candy wrapper into her mouth, twin jets of mud smacked into her mucky green body. 

Mudkip cheered at the direct hit, but his elation didn’t last long when an enraged Cynthia tried to drop a giant rock on his head. 

“Target practice! Head worth fifty points, fin worth forty, body worth twenty, and limbs are five!” Scott exclaimed. “Bet you can’t beat my record!” 

As a matter of fact, Cynthia really wanted to beat his record. Mudkip panted, crouching low in front of a rocky pillar. Cynthia stretched her slime so that she rose above Mudkip, holding a giant rock above her head with amazing strength. 

“Mudkip, get out of there!” Milo warned. 

Cynthia brought the rock down, and Mudkip’s body suddenly became enveloped in a blinding white glow. His front legs stretched, growing longer until the rock was firmly in his grasp. The form grew larger, then the light died away, revealing a light blue Pokémon with a bipedal stance.

“Let’s finish this off, Marshtomp!” Milo shouted. “Mud Bomb!” 

Marshtomp wrenched the rock out of Cynthia’s grasp, applied a much stronger Water Gun to the rock to break it into dust, and flung the muddy projectile into Cynthia’s torso. 

Acid and mud splatted everywhere, and Cynthia laid unconscious, her peg-like teeth exposed.

Murawski blocked her desk from further attack with one arm while she used the megaphone to announce the results. 

“Grimer is unable to battle!” she proclaimed. 

A resounding cheer came from Milo’s friends. 

“Into the orange juice carton, Cynthia. We’ll dumpster dive for your reward later,” Scott said, coaxing her into the container he’d first thrown onto the field. Once Cynthia was out of sight, Scott grinned widely at Milo. “Have I ever introduced you to Mildred?” 

Milo shook his head. 

“Oh, I haven’t?” Scott looked sheepish. “Whoops, guess I’ll have to fix that! Methuselah, meet Mildred!” 

He placed a milk carton on a flat piece of rock at his waist level. 

Milo waved awkwardly. “It’s Milo.” 

“Sassa-oh no, it’s sorry! Sorry, Mikey!” Scott said. 

Close enough. 

Murawski lifted her megaphone again. “Scott, milk cartons are prohibited from participating in an official gym battle.” 

Scott blinked at her. “Wow. You guys are like, really discriminatory to cartons.” 

The carton glowed red and released a Miltank, who stomped the ground with such force that Milo could feel the tremor. While Milo was curious as to how Scott managed to get a discarded carton to work as a Poké Ball, he didn’t get a chance to ask since Miltank body slammed Marshtomp into the ground without a prompt from her trainer. 

Marshtomp was knocked out instantly. 

“Marshtomp is unable to battle!” Murawski declared. “Both trainers are down to their last Pokémon!” 

“C’MON, MILO! YOU CAN BEAT HIM!” Amanda screeched. She leaned dangerously over the railing. Zack and Lydia hauled her back to her seat, but she barely noticed. 

Bradley muttered something Milo couldn’t make out, but Melissa didn’t look too happy and she ‘accidentally’ jabbed him with her elbow while standing up to cheer for Milo. 

“Looks like you’re up, Diogee!” Milo called as he returned Marshtomp to his  Poké Ball. 

Diogee crawled out from his spot underneath the bleachers and took up a position on the battlefield. 

“No roughhousing!” Scott yelled. “Play nice, Mildred!” 

Mildred took her trainer’s order as an excuse to body slam Diogee, who barely dodged in time. Milo sidestepped to avoid being steamrolled by a charging Miltank, and she crashed into the wall that separated the field and bleachers. 

The spectators behind him screamed as the bleachers shook and collapsed. 

“We’re okay!” Melissa yelled. 

“I can’t feel my appendix!” Zack complained. 

“All of us except Zack’s appendix are okay!” Melissa amended. 

Mildred grinned dizzily, charging back onto the field. Diogee aimed a Cut attack in her direction, but it barely slowed her down. 

“Right hoof, let’s stomp!” Scott yelled as he did some weird jig that involved a lot of leg-shaking. Mildred stomped on Diogee’s hind legs, making him stumble and lose his balance. 

“Are you okay?” Milo asked. Diogee staggered away from Mildred, sending an affirming nod to Milo. “Good! Let’s try Bite!” 

Diogee darted forward, avoiding another Stomp and landing Bite on Mildred’s shoulder. Mildred cried out and tried to shake him off, but Diogee held on tightly. 

“Scratch while you’re in close quarters!” Milo shouted. 

The tips of Diogee’s claws elongated into long, thin strips of light and scratched Mildred in the face and stomach. 

“Good job, Diogee!” Milo praised. 

Diogee broke his Bite attack to give a pleased look at Milo, allowing Mildred to fling him off. 

“Snack break!” Scott exclaimed, wolfing down a can of beans at a speed so fast that Milo was sure he’d choke. He tossed a milk bottle to Mildred, who happily gulped it down. In a few moments, it appeared as though Diogee hadn’t gotten those close quarter hits on Mildred at all. 

“Is that legal?” Milo called to Murawski, who was too busy carrying her desk out of the room to pay attention. 

“You saw the destructive power of that Body Slam!” Murawski shouted. “There is no way I’m risking my desk’s life!” 

“Keep rolling, Mildred!” Scott called as he wiped bean residue from his face. 

Mildred curled into a pink ball and spun in place, building up enough energy to propel her to Diogee. Diogee unleashed several Cuts, two hitting their mark and three that crashed into the ceiling, sending several chunks raining down. 

Milo opened an umbrella to protect himself from the dust. 

Mildred slammed into Diogee, sending him sprawling. Then she continued to roll past him at high speed, ricocheting off a wall as she rolled into him a second time. Diogee retaliated with another Cut, which prevented a third Rollout from connecting and sent Mildred spinning toward Scott’s side of the field. 

Mildred crashed into another wall, and Milo decided that he’d better end this match before the building collapsed. 

“Diogee, cleave a furrow into the ground with Cut!” Milo shouted. 

“Pass the roll and butter, Mildred!” Scott called. 

A well-executed Cut cleared enough rock to form a shallow groove in the ground. 

“Dodge and ready your Razor Wind!” Milo called as Mildred barrelled straight at Diogee. Jumping to the other side to avoid Mildred, Diogee’s horn began to glow white as the winds whipped through his fur. 

Mildred crashed straight into the furrow, her body still a pink and black ball, as if she hadn’t realized she was trapped. 

Once the wind was sufficiently built up, Diogee released it, and the air blades crashed straight into Mildred. She uncurled, panting heavily and making no effort to climb out. 

“Finish with Bite!” Milo yelled. 

The resulting Bite drained the little energy Mildred had left, and she collapsed as soon as Diogee carried her out of the furrow.

Melissa hopped over the railing and grabbed a megaphone that had somehow avoided the line of fire. “Miltank is unable to battle! The winner is Diogee! The challenger wins the match!” 

With the exception of Bradley, the spectators cheered. His friends ran onto the battlefield, loudly cheering for Milo’s victory. Bradley sullenly followed behind them. 

Bradley scowled. “You’re not an official referee!” 

“There’s a rule stating that the family of a gym leader could act as referee if an official ref is unavailable,” Melissa replied with a smirk. “It’s obscure now because the League wants to avoid nepotism, but never officially repealed.”

“Your friend is kinda scary,” Lydia remarked. 

Milo couldn’t reply because Amanda and Minccino were nearly choking him in their enthusiasm. 

Once they allowed him some breathing room, Milo released Marshtomp from his Poké Ball. While Marshtomp would need more rest before battling again, he was well enough to celebrate their victory. 

“You two were awesome today!” Milo exclaimed. 

Diogee and Marshtomp puffed their chests out in pride. 

“It shouldn’t count,” Bradley muttered. “He wasn’t even battling the official leader.”

Lydia left briefly to retrieve the badge from Murawski, who still refused to enter the arena while Scott and Mildred were around. They still had the capacity to destroy her beloved desk. 

Because Scott was the designated gym leader, Lydia had to hand off the badge to him so he could officially present it to Milo. 

“This stone makes you our leader!” Scott declared, dropping the Stone Badge onto Milo’s head. “Cynthia, Mildred, and I are at your command! Who would you like us to trap underground?” 

“Well, there’s someone who owes me money…” Melissa began, but Zack put his hand over her mouth to indicate that they weren’t trapping anyone underground. Scott and Mildred seemed rather disappointed. 

Milo plucked the Stone Badge off his head, passing it around to his friends so they could see it too. Minccino wouldn’t let Amanda give the badge back to Milo until it received a proper cleaning. 

“I just got…A STONE BADGE!” Milo exclaimed once Minccino was satisfied, holding his badge triumphantly in the air. Marshtomp and Diogee struck victory poses. 

“Really?” Melissa asked as Milo stored it in his badge case. 

Milo shrugged. “It looks fun when they do it on TV.” 

“Well, Mildred and I must be off!” Scott saluted as he and Mildred squeezed into a large pipe that had been exposed during the battle. “Those dumpsters ain’t diving themselves!” 

“The next gym leader better not smell like sewer…” Bradley muttered. 

* * *

“And then I said ‘girl, that’s not a Trubbish! That Pokémon is way cuter than your hairstyle!’“ Lydia finished, bowing low to a round of applause as they exited the Rustboro School. 

“Trubbish are pretty popular with Dr. Magnezone fans,” Milo said. “Problem is there’s so many nicknamed Trubbishdroid that they can never tell them apart!” 

Zack and Lydia broke into hysterical laughter, and Milo laughed too until he felt someone crash into him. Milo fell back, rubbing his head where it had collided with the other person’s. 

The pain quickly subsided and Milo offered his hand to the other person, who was whimpering fearfully at the empty briefcase he dropped. The green suit looked vaguely familiar. 

“Hey, aren’t you that businessman we helped in Petalburg Woods?” Melissa asked. 

“You have to help me!” the businessman cried out, looking ready to faint at any moment. 

“Yup, it’s him. Before you faint from sheer terror, mind filling us in?” Milo asked. 

“Red mustache! Gray clothes! Stole…weird hat doesn’t match! No, wait!” the businessman screeched, pointing in the direction of the mountains. Melissa and Bradley shot him exasperated looks. “Other way around! Gray mustache and red clothes! Funny hat! Took my goods! The super important goods! Running into Rusnel Tunturf…Neltun Turfrus…I regret skipping lunch…” 

He fainted. 

“I think he meant Rusturf Tunnel,” Amanda said while everyone stared in disbelief. “It’s east of here.” 

“I’m leaving,” Bradley scoffed. “I have my own things to do.”

Melissa latched onto his arm and dragged him to the east exit, ignoring Bradley’s protests. “You’re coming. Milo’s Pokémon are still tired and we could use the extra help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alolan Grimer can learn Rock Polish via TM. Both types of Grimer can learn Rock Tomb.
> 
> The bit with Martin saying he wanted to feed the Bouffalant painting to Grimer came from Disco-Do Over, in which one of Martin’s listed dreams is replacing the buffalo painting in the living room.
> 
> Whitney’s strategy in the anime was to just have Miltank steamroll her opponent with Rollout until they fainted. Similar concept here really.
> 
> First gym battle is done and Milo has the Stone Badge! Next it’s to Rusturf Tunnel they go!


	12. The Man Who Will Save Humanity! Confrontation in Rusturf Tunnel!

Lydia and Amanda had agreed to stay in Rustboro to keep an eye on the unconscious businessman and glean some information that would help the others track the right man. Since Marshtomp and Diogee were exhausted from their gym battle, Milo entrusted them to Amanda so she could take them to the Pokémon Center while they waited. Amanda was more than happy to return the favor. 

“This isn’t the first time we’ve met that businessman,” Melissa explained to Bradley, who grudgingly kept pace with the others as they rushed off to Rusturf Tunnel. “He was attacked in Petalburg Woods by this guy in a red hood. I think his name was Iggy or something. Anyway, we kicked Iggy’s sorry butt and saved the papers he was trying to steal.” 

“What an excellent job you did in protecting those papers,” Bradley scoffed. 

“Thanks! We tried but looks like Iggy succeeded after all,” Milo shrugged. 

Bradley rolled his eyes. He was carefully maintaining his distance from Milo. 

“The guy said whoever took his documents had a mustache,” Melissa said. “Iggy didn’t have one. I wouldn’t rule out a connection though.”

The other trainers on the route were mostly amateur bug catchers comparing the size of their Nincada, so everybody ignored the invitations to battle. Bradley’s fingers kept twitching towards his Poké Balls, but he resisted the urge admirably. 

As they approached the tunnel, a sharp cry rang out, followed by several harsh shushing noises. A group of construction workers surrounded the porch of a house, awkwardly comforting a crying man in a pink polo shirt. 

“Didn’t mean to be so harsh,” one of the construction workers said awkwardly. “You gotta be more careful though. Whismur don’t react well to loud noises. And there’s a ton of ‘em around these parts.” 

“GARRRYYY!” the crying man wailed.

“Hold on a sec, guys!” Milo shouted to his friends. Melissa and Zack used the opportunity to catch their breath and get a drink, but Bradley looked unhappy at the interruption (then again, he always looked unhappy). 

“We’re kind of in a hurry here!” Bradley protested. “You want this guy to get away or what?”

While Milo wondered if there was anything he could do to help, part of the house collapsed, startling the men and scattering a flock of Taillow that had taken up residence on the power lines. The Taillow divebombed every construction worker who had their lunchbox open and stole their lunches. 

Apparently, Bradley thought Zack would be a sufficient meat shield from the power of Murphy’s Law. 

“What’s going on here?” Milo asked, hoping that question would be good enough to break the ice. 

“Well, we’re just lounging around like always,” one of the construction workers explained. “Not much to do since our company decided to abandon the project for Rusturf Tunnel. Noise kept scaring all the Whismur, you see. And there’s only so many Uproar-proof hard hats to go around. Been pretty quiet around here, ‘til about fifteen minutes ago when some guy in a red turtleneck rushed into the cave. Who even wears a turtleneck in this kind of weather? He’ll die of heatstroke! Anyway, there was some other guy in a red hood who stole this guy’s Chatot.” 

“So there’s two of them?” Zack asked. 

“That would’ve been useful information earlier,” Bradley sniffed. 

Melissa fired off a quick text to Lydia. “Okay, gave Lydia a status update and asked her to find out if the businessman had more than one attacker.” 

A minute later, her phone buzzed. “Lydia says there was only one attacker, and that we probably shouldn’t ask for more details unless we want him to keel over from shock,” Melissa reported.

“Gary’s my only companion among the rolling waves,” the crying man said breathlessly. “People keep telling me to catch a Wingull, but what do they know? Wingull can’t talk the way Gary does!” 

Everyone tuned him out once he started reciting some old melodramatic tale about a lonely sailor’s life. 

The construction workers rolled their eyes. “If you see Gary, think you could get him back?” one of them called. 

“No problem,” Milo promised. “We’ll bring Gary back, just you wait!” 

“GARRRYYY! I miss his chatter so much!” 

“Yeah...let’s just go,” Melissa said awkwardly. 

* * *

 

It was surreal to be in a cave without Zubat. Milo had several Repels in his backpack just in case, but there was no need for them here. The wild Whismur scattered as they traversed the tunnel, their mouths quivering in fear. Lights lined the cave walls, dim enough to not disturb light-sensitive Pokémon yet bright enough to guide their way without the use of a flashlight. 

Bradley kept toward the back, casting wary glances at Milo as if his very presence would cause a cave-in. 

Voices echoed farther down the tunnel. 

“I asked you to steal these papers, yet you couldn’t manage that!” 

“A minor setback. I’m making up for it by stealing this Chatot for the glory of Team Magma!” 

“For the last time, if you want to steal you’d best join some other organization, because Team Magma is not a band of vagabond thieves like those Aqua scoundrels!” 

“Like your ex?” 

“He’s not my ex! But especially him!” 

Ahead of them, two men were glaring at each other. Milo recognized Ignacio from the incident in Petalburg Woods. He held a caged Chatot in one arm, using his free hand to jab at the man he was arguing with. The other man was tall and slim, dressed in an odd red turtleneck that was out of place in both the Hoenn climate and fashion trends of the present. 

Though it could be considered cool in a retro sort of way, Milo guessed. 

However, the green hat and goggles definitely looked like they belonged in Sheriff Murphy’s time. Not to mention the terrible way they clashed with the rest of the lava-red outfit. 

His gray mustache was pretty impressive though. 

And a briefcase with a stylized M laid on the ground next to him. 

“Found our thieves,” Melissa said, sending another text to Lydia. 

“Give back those papers and Gary!” Milo demanded. 

Bradley rolled his eyes. “Since when does the phrase ‘give it back’ ever work?” 

Realizing that he may have been a little hasty, Milo smiled sheepishly. “I mean, would you mind giving back those papers and Gary please?” 

Bradley just sighed. 

“Yes, I do mind!” Ignacio laughed harshly. “What, you gonna ask us to go to jail willingly too?” 

“I apologize for my subordinate’s behavior,” the other man said, shooting a glare at Ignacio that told him to shut his mouth or else. “You may have the Chatot, as I do not condone stealing Pokémon, but I will be keeping these papers.” 

“We don’t negotiate with criminals!” Zack yelled, which would’ve sounded more impressive if his voice hadn’t cracked in the middle of his boast.

“This isn’t a negotiation,” the man replied stiffly. “Take my offer or leave it. Do you children understand why these documents are important?” 

Melissa shook her head. “Not really.” 

Ignacio sputtered in protest, his eyes threatening to bug out of his head. “Cavendish, are you crazy? These kids are way too simple-minded to understand even a fraction of our goal!” 

Cavendish crossed his arms, leaning in Ignacio’s face just enough to make him uncomfortable. “I am your boss, and I have the power to change the teleporter layout in the base so that you’ll have trouble getting out of your assigned quarters. Do you want that to happen?” 

Ignacio’s eyes widened, shaking his head frantically. 

“Then be quiet,” Cavendish ordered. He turned back to Milo’s group. “Anyway, these documents contain data on the age of Hoenn’s geographical formations. Mahlson Corp had the technology to prove that the most ancient of these formations were a result of Groudon’s awesome power. I deeply apologize for Ignacio giving you the impression that Team Magma is a bunch of lawless hoodlums, because the truth is that we simply want to reawaken Groudon to create more land for the good of humanity. Then I -I mean, we- will be hailed as heroes who’ve saved everyone from a watery grave and broaden our civilization to new horizons.” 

“Dude, you stole those papers in broad daylight,” Melissa snorted. “You really think that qualifies for hero material?” 

“Not exactly, but I’m sure it’ll be overlooked,” Cavendish said. 

“Enough chitchat! Let’s battle already!” Ignacio yelled, completely forgetting Cavendish’s earlier threat. 

Melissa and Bradley readied their Poké Balls, but Zack jumped in the way before they could toss them. “Are you two serious?” Zack demanded. “Melissa, you know Iggy-” Ignacio indignantly screeched at his nickname “-has a Koffing with Self-Destruct. If you battle here, the tunnel might collapse and trap everyone, including the wild Whismur! Oh, and Milo’s here too, in case you forgot. No offense, Milo.” 

Milo smiled at him. “None taken!”  

Melissa glanced down at her Poké Ball, then at Zack. Ignacio jeered a challenge, but she ignored him. After a long moment, she put her Poké Ball away. “Never thought I’d say this, but your fear has a valid argument this time. Just don’t think this’ll get you out of conquering your ichthyophobia though.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Zack said.  

Bradley considered Zack for a moment, but sent out his Shroomish anyway. “Quick, Leech Seed!” Bradley ordered, pointing Shroomish in Cavendish and Ignacio’s direction. 

Shroomish fired two seeds, which sprouted several green vines upon impact with their Magma clothing. Cavendish and Ignacio tried to pry them off, but the vines continued to entangle their limbs until they were tied back-to-back with each other. Ignacio’s Poké Ball clattered out of his hand and rolled out of his reach. 

“Leech Seed! Gary feed!” Gary squawked as Milo used a pair of hedge trimmers to cut the vines from his cage. Thankfully, the key was around Ignacio’s neck so there was no issue opening the cage door either. Gary hopped onto Milo’s arm, scratching at his backpack curiously. Milo gave him an orange Poké Puff that Amanda made, and Chatot accepted it graciously.

Cavendish put up more of a fight than Ignacio, since it took both Melissa and Zack to wrestle the briefcase from underneath his legs. But they managed to get it away from him after a few minutes. 

Cavendish scowled. He didn’t seem like the type to easily admit defeat. “You won’t be so lucky next time. We have many resources at our disposal, and we will not tolerate any more setbacks to our goal.” 

“You’re lucky we aren’t sending Elliot out here,” Bradley retorted. “He’d have a million charges against you for your clashing hat and turtleneck alone.” 

“He’s got you there, Boss,” Ignacio admitted. He withered under Cavendish’s glare. 

“This is Cavendish to base, reporting in from Rusturf Tunnel,” Cavendish said, turning his back to everyone. There was a black earpiece on the side of his head. “Grunt Iggy and I-” he ignored Ignacio’s scream of rage “-are trapped by Leech Seed and request backup stat. Okay, well, we might’ve had a run-in with four rookie trainers and I might’ve explained our goal to them...what? No, I haven’t fainted from heatstroke! I get cold quite easily, you know! Bring a pair of really sharp scissors or something that can gnaw through vines!” 

His earpiece emitted a sharp screeching noise. 

“Don’t lecture me about how distinctive my clothes are when you’re the one who suggested tuxedos for the standard uniform!” 

“We’re gonna return Gary now. Bye!” Milo waved to the Magma members, and Cavendish glowered at him briefly before returning to his argument over the earpiece. 

“We should leave before their backup gets here,” Zack suggested. 

“Judging from their argument? We have some time,” Melissa said, cupping her hands around her mouth with a devious smirk. “ISN’T THAT RIGHT, IGGY?” 

Everyone, even Bradley, snickered at Ignacio’s outraged scream. 

Then Milo noticed a large amount of pink, spherical Pokémon surrounding them. Curious, he checked his Pokédex. 

_“Whismur, the Whisper Pokémon. Rest in peace, auditory sensors. You wouldn’t happen to know an audiologist who deals with tech like me, right?”_

The Whismur did not look happy. 

Zack whimpered and covered his ears. “Goodbye, eardrums.” 

* * *

 

“I’VE HAD IT! I’M MOVING TO THE TOP OF MT. SILVER SO I NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU PEOPLE AGAIN!” 

“HUH?” 

“HE EITHER SAID PASS THE SILVERWARE OR HE HATES SEEING PURPLE!” 

“GARY! I MISSED YOU! COME HERE, YOU FINE FEATHERED FRIEND!” 

“Feathered friend! Heart mend!” Gary squawked, flying over to the man who’d been completely inconsolable earlier. Gary dipped his beak into one of the man’s pockets, scarfing down several pellets of Pokémon food. 

The construction workers seemed relieved, though several of them raised their eyebrows at Milo’s friends yelling at each other. 

“We got caught in a group of Whismur’s Uproar on our way back,” Milo said. “They should hear just fine in half an hour.” 

“How come you weren’t affected?” one of the construction workers asked. 

Milo shrugged. “My older sister is part of the Dr. Magnezone crowd. I guess when you’ve heard them scream because of Time Infernape’s sacrifice in the Season 4 finale, a group of Whismur just doesn’t sound that loud.” 

The construction workers murmured their agreement.

Gary fluttered over to Milo’s shoulder, nibbling his hair affectionately. “Back with Jack! Back with Jack!” Gary chirped. 

Gary’s trainer shook hands with Milo, beaming brightly as Gary fluttered around their heads. “I’m Captain Jack. Thank you for saving Gary. He’s a great conversational partner out in the open waters. Can’t do it without him!” 

“You really oughta consider getting a Wingull,” one of the construction workers said. “There’s plenty of ‘em here. Every sailor has one.” 

Captain Jack grimaced, whistling to Gary so he didn’t slash the man with an Aerial Ace. Gary puffed his feathers one last time and settled onto Captain Jack’s shoulder, pointedly turning his back on the construction worker. 

“Remember, Gary,” Captain Jack lectured. “Violence is below a Chatot of your standing. We use words and body language to convey how angry we are at this poor, ignorant man.”  

Gary crossed his wings over his chest too. 

Captain Jack turned back to Milo, his irritation vanishing. “I have a seaside cottage just outside Petalburg City. As thanks for saving Gary, I’ll be more than happy to ferry you and your friends around the ocean if you’d like.” 

“Gosh, thanks so much!” Milo grinned. “You think you can take us to Dewford Town? My friend has a contest coming up, so it’ll probably be another day or two before I take your offer.” 

“Dewford is no issue at all,” Captain Jack replied. “And come visit Gary too. Between you and me, he gets lonely real fast. We’d best get going. Gary, use Fly!” 

Gary lifted his trainer into the air with his feet and took off into the horizon, squawking a goodbye to Milo. 

At least a Chatot using Fly made more sense than a Dodrio. 

“AMANDA TEXTED ME!” Melissa shouted. “SHE SAYS TO MEET THEM AT THE POKÉMON CENTER BECAUSE SOMEONE REALLY IMPORTANT WANTS TO TALK TO US!” 

“WHAT?” Bradley yelled back. 

“Amanda wants us to meet at the Pokémon Center because someone wants to...um, tangle with us?” Zack asked, glancing at Milo for help. 

“Close. She said talk,” Milo said. “Your hearing’s almost back though!” 

Zack nodded in relief. “Almost. I still hear this weird ringing. Reminds me of my  Aunt Debbie’s porch. She has a lot of wind chimes.” 

“AND SHE SAYS DIOGEE AND MARSHTOMP ARE FINE NOW!” 

“CHOMP ON WHAT NOW?” 

Zack sighed. “Let’s get back and hope it’s someone with a normal fashion sense who wants to talk.” 

* * *

 

Melissa and Bradley’s hearing had mostly returned by the time they reached the Rustboro Pokémon Center, though they still complained about the leftover ringing. Diogee and Marshtomp almost knocked over Milo in their excitement. Milo couldn’t even move because Marshtomp refused to let go of his legs. 

“I missed you guys too,” Milo said. “So who’s the guy who wanted to meet us? Amanda wasn’t giving us any answers when we tried to figure it out.” 

Amanda had sent a lot of emojis with angel faces when they tried asking politely over text. 

Marshtomp allowed Milo to take a seat with his friends, though he quickly latched onto his legs again. 

A gray-haired man with a rather prominent chin shook hands with Melissa as she handed over the briefcase. Melissa had to nudge Bradley, who was still in a stupor from being praised over using Leech Seed to tie up the thieves rather than get into a battle that could endanger the tunnel’s ecosystem. 

Milo watched them chat for a while, trying to place why the man looked vaguely familiar to him. 

“Are you related to Orton Mahlson?” Milo blurted out, interrupting Bradley’s spiel about how his Shroomish was the best of all Grass types. Bradley made an affronted noise. “Er, sorry Bradley. You wanna finish that boast?” 

“Moment’s gone,” Bradley muttered before stomping away. 

“Your friend’s a bit grouchy, isn’t he?” the man mused as he opened the briefcase. “Still, he adores his Shroomish, and I can’t fault that. And yes, Orton’s my son. My name’s Orville Mahlson, but I prefer to be called Orville. Mr. Mahlson is a tad too formal, even if everyone insists the CEO of Mahlson Corp is to be treated with respect at all times.” 

“Your son is like, the coolest human being on the planet!” Milo squealed before he could stop himself. 

Orville smirked, leafing through the documents to make sure everything was in order. “Would you mind repeating that? I don’t think the people in Snowpoint City heard you.” 

“I said, your son is the coolest human being on the planet!” Milo exclaimed. “It’s really amazing how he balances acting and his Champion duties and yet he’s really nice too!” 

“That’s true,” Orville agreed, packing the documents back into the briefcase. “Well, everything seems to be in order here. Now, why don’t we head to my office in Mahlson Corp to discuss this matter further?” 

“Sir, Mahlson Corp is restricted from the public!” the businessman protested. “What if one of these children is a corporate spy?” 

Melissa held up her hands in defeat. “I’m a corporate spy, sir. How about I battle your employee here for the rights to your secret projects?” 

The businessman fainted again. 

Lydia scowled. “Well, thanks for undoing all my hard work of reviving him!” 

Melissa just smirked. 

“Don’t worry about Manny, kids. A few weeks ago, he fainted because someone brought an Azurill egg in,” Orville sighed.  

* * *

 

Orville led the group down the research department, happily pausing to answer any questions about the kind of work his scientists did. 

“Mahlson Corp is constantly researching ways to provide clean energy to people while preserving natural ecosystems,” Orville explained, grinning as Milo and Bradley watched scientists bark orders to each other through a glass window. “The generator they’re working on utilizes dream mist from a Musharna to power a row of light bulbs. We took some inspiration from a Unovan scientist who published a very intriguing thesis about this concept.” 

“Oh, that was Professor Fennel!” Amanda exclaimed. “She showed us around the Dreamyard and let us pet a Munna on a field trip once!” 

“Her hair is really pretty,” Lydia added. 

Orville paused in front of a window farther down the hall. The room appeared to be a miniature greenhouse. Sunlight streamed in through the ceiling panels as a research team watered the flowers and trimmed the hedges. “They’re studying the effects of sunlight on plants in order to determine the most efficient way to harness solar energy,” Orville said. 

“What’s that machine in the back?” Melissa asked, pointing to a large, cylindrical device that two scientists were tinkering with. One of the scientists shouted in frustration and slammed his fist on the control panel. 

“Ah, that would be the Machine Used for Literally Converting Humans to Grass-Types, or MULCHGT for short. They claim the ‘GT’ is silent,” Orville said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “I misplaced the paperwork that would’ve slashed their funding. Yeah...I didn’t hire these people for their ability to come up with good acronyms.” 

“Work, my precious MULCH machine! I command you to work!” the scientist shouted, cackling as the machine fired up. “You shall help me in my conquest of the entire world! Together, we will make the lowly humans pay for what they’ve done!” 

He laughed evilly, drawing irate stares from the rest of the scientists. Then he realized he was being watched. “Uh, I mean further my understanding of chlorophyll and cellulose?” he asked sheepishly. 

“Orville, what’s he aiming for with that thing?” Zack asked nervously. 

Orville paled. “Maybe we shouldn’t have dared Ronaldo to imitate his evil speeches on lunch break...” 

“Hit the floor!” Milo yelled, and everyone fell onto their stomachs and covered their heads while trying to remain close to the ground. The machine whirred to life, then fired a green beam that passed through the glass window. 

Belatedly, Milo realized that Bradley was observing the research group on the opposite side and hadn’t noticed the commotion. 

“Bradley, look out!” Milo yelped, crashing into Bradley’s legs to force him to the ground so the beam would miss him. 

Bradley shrieked, his arms flailing as he crashed on top of Milo. Milo gasped from the impact, making sure to take several deep breaths to get the air back into his lungs. 

Much to the distress of the megalomaniacal scientist and the relief of everyone else, the MULCH machine exploded because someone accidentally ran into the self-destruct button. 

“Everyone who isn’t a Grass-type say aye. Or in Diogee’s case, just use your vocal cords,” Melissa said. “I am currently not a Pokémon.”

“Neither am I,” Amanda reported. 

“Do I have any leaves on me?” Lydia asked, using a compact mirror to check her face. “I don’t think a green complexion would suit me that well. I’m strictly an autumn.” 

“Lydia and I are fine,” Zack said. 

Diogee was currently serving as leverage for Orville to help him stand but they were both leaf-free. 

“It didn’t get me,” Milo said. He craned his neck to check Bradley, who was still dazed and didn’t realize he’d landed on Milo yet. 

Then Amanda shrieked. “His arm! Where’s his arm?” 

Bradley’s right arm was missing, his sleeve dangling in empty air. 

“Why does my arm feel funny?” Bradley groaned. Then he noticed everyone staring. “Why’s everyone looking at me like that?” 

From his vantage point, Milo could see something red poking out of what first appeared to be an empty sleeve. Out of curiosity, Milo pulled on the red object. 

 _“_ Don’t touch me you...WAIT, WHAT IS THAT THING?” Bradley screeched, backing himself against the wall in sheer horror. Unfortunately, the red object followed him. 

It wasn’t an object after all. It was a pair of red claws attached to a stretchy green limb. Bradley’s normal arm was twice as long. 

Orville chuckled nervously. “It appears you have a Breloom arm. Say, how about a free PokéNav in exchange for you not revealing our questionable hiring practices to the Internet?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cavendish’s debut! Poor man. He tries to be threatening but his fashion sense hinders him. 
> 
> Captain Jack is the guy who takes Dakota to the Island in Island of the Lost Dakotas. As he doesn’t have a canon name, I decided to name him Jack for his voice actor Jack McBrayer. 
> 
> Bradley’s plant arm in this story is different from his canon one, but I think it would be a great benefit once he utilizes it. 
> 
> I’m sorry, the MULCHTP name amuses me to no end. Derek is terrible with acronyms.


	13. Get Your Flames on, Zack and Lydia! Treecko’s Growing Potential and Tepig’s Dazzling Debut!

Bradley accepted the free PokéNav in exchange for agreeing to not leave a bad review of Mahlson Corp on the Internet, though he refused to follow Milo into the CEO’s office and stormed off to train for his next gym battle. Milo felt pretty bad when he watched Bradley try to press an elevator button, but misjudged the length of his new Breloom arm and wound up poking at empty air. 

“Don’t worry,” Amanda said, settling Minccino on top of Milo’s head to provide him with fluffy reassurance. Minccino stretched out, trying to flatten Milo’s cowlick with her tongue. “If he’d been fully turned into a Breloom, every trainer in the city would be bombarding him with Poké Balls.” 

“I’ll make sure the scientist is written up and disciplined for this incident,” Orville asserted, gesturing for everyone to take a seat on the plush, luxurious couches in his office. Diogee laid down on the deep red carpet, nuzzling into its soft fuzz, Milo tried to sit too, but the couch cushion swallowed him until only his legs poked out and he had to be extracted by Melissa and Zack. He settled for the floor instead. 

“I assume the scientist isn’t why you brought us here,” Melissa said. “What’s so top secret that you couldn’t tell us in the Pokémon Center?” 

Orville set the briefcase on top of his desk, removing the documents and locking them into a vault behind a painting of a Relicanth. “I’d like to know about the people who were interested in my company’s research. Did the thieves talk about what they planned to do with this data?” 

“Something about creating more land and being heroes,” Zack said. “Sorry, I was a little more focused on the walls suffocating us than anything that old man said.” 

“Walls can’t suffocate you,” Melissa scoffed. 

“They can if they sense you’re claustro-avoidant,” Zack retorted. 

Lydia sat between Melissa and Zack, forcing them to the ends of the couch and ending their argument. “The businessman mentioned something about magma.” 

“Cavendish and Ignacio—that’s who stole your documents—belong to an organization called Team Magma,” Milo added. “You have data on ancient geographical formations and they want to reawaken a Pokémon named Groudon.” 

“Wait a minute,” Zack said, holding his hand up in a time-out. “Didn’t Dakota say something about reawakening something called a Cry-ogre?” 

Melissa pounded the armrest at the mention of Dakota’s name. “It’s not Cry-ogre. It’s KY-owes me seven thousand Pokédollars-gre!” 

“He dined and dashed on us. Though he mentioned he was the boss of Team Aqua, whatever that is,” Milo explained for Lydia, Amanda, and Orville’s benefit. “But his sandwich and smoothie cost a thousand.” 

“The other six thousand includes taxes, interest, and emotional distress,” Melissa said. “And I’m gonna keep tacking on other charges ‘til he coughs up the money.” 

Orville winced. “You planning to go into business?” 

“Nope. My career goals are strictly journalist, author, and queen of the universe,’ Melissa replied. 

“Er, good career goals. I think,” Orville said, unsure of how to respond to the last one. To be fair, most people didn’t think Melissa could be queen of the universe. Not that it was a hard title to obtain if she ever succeeded in stuffing Arceus into a Poké Ball. “Now, I want to give each of you a PokéNav. Along with helping you navigate the different biomes of Hoenn, it has the Mahlson Corp number and my personal cell registered in there too. I understand that all of you carry cell phones, but it wouldn’t hurt to carry a spare. Besides, I’d like to keep in touch due to the threat of the ancient Pokémon awakening if either Team Magma or Aqua succeed. If you find any more information, please contact us. In the meantime, I will place more funding into the areas of study these documents cover.” 

“Hypothetically, what’s your policy in case the PokéNav catches on fire or is somehow destroyed under weird circumstances?” Zack asked as Milo reached for his device.

The PokéNav caught on fire, and Diogee pulled Milo back before he could touch it. Melissa stamped it out quickly, but the PokéNav was charred and blackened beyond repair. 

“We replace it,” Orville said, pulling out another PokéNav from his desk. 

The girls made sure everyone’s numbers were placed into the PokéNavs, then sealed them in fireproof bags before storing them into their backpacks. 

“I also have two favors to ask,” Orville said. “First, I have a letter to my son, Orton. He’s probably in Granite Cave again. It’s just outside Dewford.” 

He slid a sealed envelope across his desk. 

“Lydia and I are skipping Dewford actually,” Amanda said. “We’re heading to Slateport after her contest in Rustboro.” 

“In that case, would you two mind delivering these parts to a friend of mine?” Orville asked. He handed a small toolkit full of gears and rods to Amanda. “His name is Captain Bob Webber, and you can find him in the Shipyard. Bob is currently in the process of building a submarine for deep-sea exploration. There’s much we don’t know about the world, the ocean especially, but perhaps he’ll be able to shed some light on these mysteries upon the submarine’s completion.”

Melissa carefully folded the letter into a travel book. “We’ll deliver the letter,” she promised. 

Orville nodded in approval. “Thank you. Orton’s researched many old myths and legends, partly for interest and partly for the storylines on Dr. Magnezone. I believe his knowledge will be useful. That’s all I have on my end. Feel free to call if you have any questions.” 

“You don’t mind if we hold off for a few days, right?” Milo asked. “Zack and Lydia are competing in the Rustboro Contest soon.” 

“Tepig and I have a totally rocking routine!” Lydia boasted. “We’re gonna get that Ribbon for sure!”

“I should probably figure something out with Treecko,” Zack admitted.

Melissa yawned. “But not tonight. It’s been a long day, and I just want a nice, comfy bed.” 

As they gathered their belongings, Diogee sprang up and growled at a bookshelf. 

“What’s he growling at?” Lydia asked. 

Milo shrugged. He tried to hold Diogee back with his collar, but he was slowly dragged forward instead. “I’m not sure. Maybe he just doesn’t like dust bunnies.”

Once Diogee was close enough, he pounced on the bookshelf. Milo let go of the collar just in time, avoiding a head collision with the wooden frame. The books trembled, and Milo reached out to catch an expensive figurine of a Shiftry.  

Something small and pink fled from the gap between the wall and bookshelf, and Diogee shot after it. A piercing wail erupted, and everybody shrieked and covered their ears. Zack and Melissa fought over a pillow to further muffle the noise while the Whismur continued its tearful rampage. Diogee was now more concerned with keeping his paws pressed to his head rather than chasing Whismur though. 

In an attempt to escape the room, the Whismur crashed into Zack, and Melissa triumphantly claimed the pillow. A spare Pok é was knocked loose from Zack’s belt and hit Whismur on the head. 

A red light engulfed Whismur and sucked it into the container, stopping the piercing wail to everybody’s relief. The Poké Ball fell to the floor, shaking three times before emitting a small popping noise. 

Orville was the first to recover. He patted Zack on the shoulder. “Seems Whismur decided to choose you! Treat it well, okay?” 

Zack could only stare at the Poké Ball in disbelief. “That was kinda anticlimactic for a capture.”

“Don’t worry, guys. I have noise-canceling earmuffs in my backpack,” Milo said. “As my dad always says, ‘Always protect yourself from Dr. Magnezone fans crying over the Season 4 finale and freak biplane accidents.’“ 

* * *

 

The next day, Milo focused on taking preventative measures against interruptions to Zack and Lydia’s training. After yesterday’s chance meetings of crime syndicate bosses, strange battles filled with moves he was pretty sure weren’t legal, and befriending the Mahlson Corp CEO, he was glad for a quiet day. Well, unless one counted the panic that ensued when Milo was carried across town by an entire line of remote-controlled shopping carts, but there was no harm done beyond accidentally busting Rustboro Elliot’s kneecap. 

Minccino was more interested in helping Amanda make PokéBlocks than in battling, just as Marshtomp was more interested in eating Amanda’s PokéBlocks rather than making them. 

Melissa worked on Torchic and Poochyena’s teamwork, praising them whenever their combined attacks landed a hit on the practice dummy. She recorded Torchic unleashing a spiral of flames that surrounded the practice dummy in a mesmerizing fiery column. 

“First time I’ve seen more than a few embers!” Melissa exclaimed as she gave Torchic and Poochyena several PokéBlocks for a job well done. “Fire Spin’s definitely gonna be a huge help.” 

“That’s great, but Flame Charge is stronger,” Lydia declared. 

Tepig agreed wholeheartedly. 

“Wanna put that to the test?” Melissa asked. 

“You’re on!” 

The girls and their Fire-starters rushed onto the practice field, trading fire attacks as they jokingly taunted each other. Torchic’s brute force and Tepig’s carefully executed attacks proved to be an equal match. 

Just in case, Milo set a few fire extinguishers within reach. 

Meanwhile, Zack was trying to perfect an appeal with Treecko and Whismur. Treecko used a rapid-fire Bullet Seed while Whismur countered with Echoed Voice, destroying each seed with its cry. Then Treecko switched to Mega Drain, drawing energy from the remaining seeds. Green sparkles showered the room. 

Milo could barely tell that Whismur was caught less than a day ago. 

Since his friends were preoccupied with training, Milo decided to call his folks on the Pokémon Center videophone. He hadn’t really gotten the chance to chat with them since leaving Murphy Ranch. 

“Diogee, would you mind getting Marshtomp?” Milo asked as he logged into the system. “He’s probably trying to swipe Amanda’s PokéBlocks again.” 

Diogee trotted off.

The phone was only halfway through the first ring before someone on the other side picked up. 

“Milo! About time you called!” Sara grinned, her screen flickering to life. 

Milo smiled. “Sorry, it’s been hectic. I have a badge now!” 

He proudly displayed his Stone Badge to Sara, who shrieked at the sight of it. “Oh my gosh, you already have a badge! You’re like a mini Pokémon Master already. Wait right there, let me get Mom and Dad! They gotta see this too!” 

While he waited for Sara to come back, he polished his Stone Badge on a clean cloth. He was about to hold the badge against the light to check for smudges when a Linoone calmly strolled up to him and snatched it from his hand. 

_Hope you don’t get tired of this same old tune,_

_He’s Recurring Linoone!_

“Get back here!” Milo shouted. “And how did you even hire backup singers?” 

Milo dove for the badge, but Recurring Linoone jumped onto his head and scurried to the exit. Before the thieving Normal-type could reach it, he slammed into a wall of white fur and dropped the Stone Badge. While Diogee carefully returned the badge to its case, Marshtomp tossed Recurring Linoone out of the Pokémon Center. 

“Thanks,” Milo said gratefully as he sat down at the videophone. Sara had returned with Brigitte and Martin during the commotion, and they waved excitedly as they fired question after question at him. 

“Yes, no, Melissa has a Torchic, I’ve met lots of interesting people already, yes, and I haven’t broken my clavicle yet,” Milo said. He tilted the camera down to Diogee and Marshtomp. “Say hi, you two!” 

His Pokémon happily greeted his family. 

“You’re doing a great job with them,” Martin said. “And Diogee’s doing a great job at being your partner.” 

Diogee stood up a little straighter. 

“We’re also traveling with Zack. He’s Professor Underwood’s son,” Milo said, recounting how they rescued Professor Underwood from the swarm of Magikarp and gained their starters in the process. “And he caught a Whismur in the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office! He’s training it right now, but he’s not using it in the contest. He’s sticking with Treecko. Oh, and Melissa caught a Poochyena in Petalburg!” 

Sara’s jaw dropped. “Back up, Milo! You actually went to the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office?” 

Milo nodded. “Uh, yeah. I guess it sounds weird without the context, but his name’s Orville and he’s really nice. We’re delivering a letter to Orton as a favor actually and-” 

“YOU’RE GOING TO MEET ORTON? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Sara shrieked, her smile stretching so much that Milo was afraid her face was going to stay that way. “CAN YOU GET ME AN AUTOGRAPH? CAN YOU DOCUMENT THE EXACT SPOT WHERE HE’LL STAND SO WE CAN CREATE A NATIONAL MONUMENT TO DR. MAGNEZONE IN THAT AREA?” 

Sara’s Absol, Nyx, got annoyed and carted her off while she begged for Dr. Magnezone’s autograph. 

“The Absol pups are doing well,” Brigitte said. “We’re still trying out shampoo brands on Rowdy to tame his fur though. No success yet.” 

“Razor and Zorro keep challenging each other,” Martin added. “Nobody wants to judge whose horn is longer, so they have a tendency to decimate a few trees since they have to decide for themselves.” 

Milo giggled as his parents gave him updates on the Absol and the entire Murphy family. His cousin Reggie was now banned from Kalos due to the Mona Florges incident, Nate had a sprained ankle from stepping on a Drilbur and still denied having EHML even though the examination table collapsed with him sitting on it, and Uncle Joey had crashed into a set belonging to Pokéstar Studios and was being approached for a major role in a new movie. 

“Lucario Man vs Brycen Man: Dusk of Revenge? Well, good for Uncle Joey!” Milo said, though he wasn’t sure what that movie would mean for Brycen Man’s established canon. 

“And be careful, okay?” Brigitte said. “There’s been some weird activity around the mountain. Some strange people in red hoodies keep talking about meteorites and rocks.” 

“I’ll see if Richard thinks it’s worth investigating,” Martin promised. “Sometimes they come onto the property, but they don’t seem interested in stealing the Absol. They just take soil samples and leave.” 

“Not to mention the pirate dress-up party,” Brigitte said. “Though they don’t seem to do much except insult people in hoodies.” 

“Oh, we had a few run-ins already,” Milo admitted. “It was how I met Orville. He’s the CEO of Mahlson Corp, by the way. The people in red hoodies are called Team Magma, and they went after Mahlson Corp’s research. We stopped them in Rusturf Tunnel. And the boss of Team Aqua owes Melissa seven thousand Pokédollars.”

Martin and Brigitte fell silent as they processed this information. 

Milo decided to tell them about Bradley, Lydia, and Amanda instead.

* * *

 

Though the Rustboro Contest wouldn’t start for another hour, the registration line was open and coordinators could use the extra time to prepare. Zack had been relieved when he discovered that Hoenn didn’t place a huge emphasis on appearances like Sinnoh, because he didn’t have a formal outfit to change into. Milo didn’t mind lending the tuxedo he packed for emergency formal occasions to Zack, but it was probably wrinkled from being crammed into his backpack. 

Zack and Lydia presented their Contest Passes to the attendant, who waved them into a room for participants only.

Whismur sat in Milo’s lap since he wouldn’t be performing, shying away when any stranger passed them. Diogee stood guard on the side, watching for signs of a rail breaking or a seat collapsing in addition to making sure nobody got too close to Whismur. 

Diogee really wanted to make up for scaring Whismur when they met. 

“-and Musicals favor Pokémon with arms. Minccino would do well since she can hold the props, but Tepig wouldn’t get much applause,” Amanda said. “There’s way more room for creativity in Contests.” 

“You think Zack and Lydia are gonna move into the battle round?” Melissa asked. 

Amanda nodded. “Lydia works super hard. Sometimes it’s hard to convince her that she needs to take the break I scheduled. I don’t know about Zack though. Maybe he’ll pass, maybe he won’t.” 

“Zack’s gonna pass. He worked really hard yesterday,” Milo said. 

“Might not be enough,” Melissa admitted. “It’s not Zack’s fault, but he didn’t have time to train considering everything that happened since we came to town.” 

The lights onstage flared, and the announcer cleared her throat to get the audience’s attention. 

“Welcome to the Rustboro Contest! My name is Shelley, and I’ll be your MC! Before we begin, let’s give a round of applause to our judges!” Shelley declared, gesturing to the judges’ panel. 

“Rustboro City’s Nurse Joy. Looking forward to seeing all these lovely Pokémon!” 

“Mr. Sukizo, president of the Pokémon Fan Club. Let’s make this a remarkable Contest!” 

_Mr. Sukizo, the Remarkable Pokémon. He hails from a remarkable town in a remarkable country and judges remarkable Pokémon in remarkable competitions._

“Whoops, forgot to turn the silly thing off,” Milo said, quickly shutting down his Pokédex. 

“So...is he one of Hoenn’s native Pokémon?” Amanda asked. 

Melissa shook her head. “No, but it’s an easy mistake to make.” 

Shelley heaved a great sigh, shooting an irritated glare at the empty seat next to Mr. Sukizo. “Due to unfortunate circumstances involving a Lairon, a tube of mint toothpaste, and a sombrero, Mr. Contesta will not be presiding over today’s competition. Instead, please give a warm welcome to-” she squinted at a note card “-the Supreme Lord of Subterranous and its Colony of Mrs. Forrester’s Basement. Give it up for Scott the Undergrounder, everybody.” 

“The winner shall be our leader!” Scott exclaimed. 

“The winner will receive the Rustboro Ribbon, which will bring them one step closer to the Grand Festival!” Shelley yelled. “Let’s get this Contest underway! Introducing our first contestant, Russell!” 

Russell sent out a Wurmple, which showed off its climbing prowess through String Shot. Mr. Sukizo and Nurse Joy complimented Russell for using Wurmple’s natural abilities to weave a beautiful picture of a flower, while Scott tried to collect the string for some weird art project.  

His performance was followed by a Slakoth, a Nincada, and a Lombre before Shelley finally shouted Lydia’s name. 

Lydia gave the audience a dazzling smile, sending her Poké Ball flying high into the air. 

“Let’s get our flames on, Tepig!” Lydia shouted as the Fire-type materialized. 

Tepig squealed, stomping the ground and snorting tiny embers. 

“Use Attract!” 

Tepig winked, and several small pink hearts surrounded his body. Then he cloaked himself in a Flame Charge and zigzagged around the stage in an intricate pattern. The hearts zoomed after Tepig, blazing in spectacular red and gold flames when they touched the fiery streaks he left behind. 

“Finale time!” Lydia cheered. “Roll into those hearts with Defense Curl!” 

Tepig cut off Flame Charge and rolled into every heart, tucking into a ball just before impact. The flaming hearts burst into a brilliant cloud of warm sparkles. 

Lydia and Tepig struck a pose and bowed to the captivated crowd. 

“WHOO! GO, LYDIA!” Amanda screeched, her voice rising above every other cheer from the captivated crowd. 

“What a passionate performance!” Shelley clapped. “Let’s see what our judges have to say!” 

“You don’t see Tepig very often around here, but I’m sure there are many people here who’d like to catch one for themselves after today!” Nurse Joy exclaimed. 

“Remarkable!” Mr. Sukizo added. 

“The bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. “And we will happily be enslaved to His Lardiness for all eternity!” 

Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo inched away from him.

Shelley stared at Scott for a moment, then recovered and introduced the next competitor. 

“Lydia was really amazing!” Milo exclaimed. Whismur flinched, and Milo stroked one of his ears to calm him down. “Sorry, I’ll gush quietly next time.”

“You should save your compliments, Milo,” Amanda said. “I’m sure Lydia and Tepig want to hear them. Those two thrive on attention.” 

“We have one more competitor left in the appeal round! Give it up for Zack Underwood, everyone!” Shelley shouted. 

The curtains parted to reveal Zack, who waved nervously at the audience before releasing Treecko. He didn’t shout anything spectacular like most coordinators during their appeal.

“Zack Underwood? As in the Lumberzacks?” 

“Aren’t they from Johto?” 

“He’s the cutest one!” 

“No, Max is cuter!” 

The announcement of his name seemed to stir something in the crowd, especially the preteen girls who seemed interested in getting him to sign their faces in permanent marker. 

“I think we should help him figure out a catchphrase,” Milo suggested.  

Unfortunately, Zack’s nerves were affecting Treecko. Bullet Seed didn’t form a perfect circle into the ground. The top portion stuck out into a point and one side was wavy. Luckily, Treecko was trying to play it off by crossing his arms and acting like the unusual shape was deliberate. But Zack didn’t seem to take the cue. 

“Mega Drain!” Zack yelled.

Treecko spread his arms and closed his eyes, drawing bright green energy from the seeds to create a large, verdant circle around Treecko. Zack closed his appeal with a display of Treecko’s agility, ending with Treecko messing up a landing on Zack’s shoulder. 

“His Treecko is amazing!” 

“They’re cute in a dorky way!” 

Melissa folded her arms. “Why is everyone focusing on how cute he is and not his performance?” 

Milo held Whismur so he could cheer for Zack too. Whismur’s cries blended in with the fangirls’ screaming. “What, you don’t think he’s cute?” Milo asked. 

Melissa punched him in the shoulder. 

“That question was rhetorical.” 

“Good.” 

They missed out on Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo’s comments, but they bore witness to Scott’s incredibly bizarre dance moves that didn’t resemble chopping down a tree while eating pancakes in any culture no matter what he claimed.  

Shelley called for a brief interlude to allow the judges enough time to decide who would be moving onto the battle round. Milo, Melissa, and Amanda rushed out of their seats to meet up with Zack and Lydia, who were hanging out in the lobby.

Whismur jumped out of Milo’s arms and hopped straight into Zack’s lap, greeting Treecko with an enthusiastic shout. Treecko chewed his leaf and held up his hand in response. 

“You were on fire, Tepig!” Milo exclaimed. “Literally and figuratively!” 

Tepig lifted his tail proudly. 

“Don’t get a big head,” Lydia warned playfully. 

“Told you feeding him those Cheri berries would make his flames brighter,” Amanda said. 

“It totally worked, Amanda,” Lydia agreed. “I can’t wait for the battle round! Though I really hope we don’t face that Lombre. That Water Gun and Nature Power combo would be awful for anyone weak to Water.” 

“That Lombre slipped on a puddle and lost control of Water Gun too,” Amanda reminded her. “There’s a good possibility it won’t be in the battle round.”

“I don’t think I’ll be in the battle round either,” Zack admitted. “It was nice of the judges to say we had potential, but I could tell Treecko and I weren’t in sync.” 

“Don’t say that, Zack! All we need to do is find your confidence and think up a catchphrase for you!” Milo exclaimed. 

Zack raised an eyebrow. “A catchphrase?” 

Melissa shrugged. “You didn’t yell anything when you sent out Treecko. Your previous popularity was the only thing that kept the fangirls’ eyes on you.” 

“It’s not a bad idea,” Lydia agreed, snapping Zack out of his panic over the idea that the majority of the audience was made up of fangirls with a crush on him. “You just need a catchphrase to psych yourself up!”

The TV screens flickered to life, and pictures of the participants flashed onto the screen. Lydia’s picture appeared in the second slot, but Zack’s didn’t show up. Eight coordinators were moving on.

Much to Lydia’s relief, the Lombre trainer didn’t appear either.  

_“If your picture is onscreen, please head to the backroom immediately. Matchups will be randomly determined by the computer.”_

“That’s our cue! Wish us luck!” Lydia exclaimed, running off with Tepig in tow. 

The others headed back to their seats, and Zack put on a pair of sunglasses and hat to avoid being recognized. Strangely, he didn’t change out of his clothes or recall his Treecko, so Milo figured that Zack’s fangirls had really bad eyesight.

Tepig’s Flame Charge knocked out Russell’s Wurmple before half the allotted five minutes had passed. Wurmple didn’t get the chance to show off any fancy maneuvers with String Shot. 

A Beautifly’s Gust rendered a Shroomish’s powder-based attacks ineffective, and a Skitty accidentally knocked itself out through recoil damage when Assist unexpectedly turned into Double-Edge. 

In the semifinals, Lydia faced an Aron who was fond of using Mud Slap. A quarter of her points were knocked off after Tepig was hit by a splatter of mud, but she recovered quickly by immobilizing Aron with Attract and letting an Ember finish the job. 

Beautifly fended off Dustox’s poison attacks and advanced to the finals as well. 

“Let’s all get hyped for our final round!” Shelley exclaimed. “Will Becky and Beautifly blow away Lydia and Tepig’s flames? Remember, whoever wins the final round will get the Rustboro Ribbon! You have five minutes to knock out your opponent or deplete as many points as you can! Without further ado, the battle starts now!” 

Becky ordered a Stun Spore as soon as the clock started, which Tepig dodged. But since the Stun Spore enhanced Beautifly’s shimmering wings, Lydia still lost several points. 

“Ember!” Lydia shouted. 

Tepig aimed several sparks of fire at Beautifly, but a Gust attack blew them away harmlessly. Then Tepig followed up with Attract, and although Beautifly wasn’t affected the way Aron had been, it was lulled into a false sense of security and failed to counter the next onslaught of Ember. 

Becky’s point bar decreased by a quarter. 

“Use Absorb!” Becky yelled. 

“Ember again!” 

The attacks dissipated into red and green sparkles. 

“Approaching the halfway mark!” Shelley warned. 

“We gotta hurry up, use Flame Charge!” 

“Counter with Silver Wind!” 

Beautifly’s Silver Wind whipped at Tepig’s body, and he stumbled and lost the fire he’d created for Flame Charge. 

“Go around!” Lydia yelled. 

Tepig scrambled out of Silver Wind’s way, quickly cloaking himself in Flame Charge and zooming around the stage. Beautifly broke off Silver Wind and flew after Tepig, only to stop in confusion when its target disappeared. Tepig’s fire flashed in streaks and disappeared just as quickly, causing Becky’s point total to decrease further. 

Once Beautifly was low to the ground, Tepig slammed into it. 

Beautifly crumpled into a heap, and the buzzer sounded. 

“ALRIGHT, SHE WON! SHE WON!” Amanda screeched so loudly that even Shelley glared at her. Minccino shook her head at her trainer’s behavior and climbed onto Diogee’s fur in an attempt to camouflage herself. 

Melissa and Zack held onto Amanda’s arm to prevent her from climbing over the railing. 

“Congratulations, you two!” Milo shouted. 

Becky recalled Beautifly and walked off stage as the judges ushered Lydia and Tepig onto the winner’s platform. 

“Bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. Somehow he’d gotten hold of Shelley’s microphone. 

Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo congratulated Lydia and presented her with the Rustboro Ribbon as Shelley and Scott fought for control over the microphone. 

The Contest Hall cleared out rather quickly because Mildred dug her way to the surface and felt the need to decimate a few walls in order to defend her master. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bob Webber is actually from Phineas and Ferb (the guy who says okay and snaps his fingers in The Lake Nose Monster and Candace’s Big Day), but hey I needed another captain and he came to mind.
> 
> I don’t like Pokemon Musicals. Not nearly as fun as Contests.
> 
> Shelley is the name of the announcer in Battle of the Bands. The one with the blue streak in her hair and voiced by Olivia Olson. I checked the MML wiki. Apparently, her name was mentioned in the closed captioning.
> 
> While a Contest Hall doesn’t exist in Rustboro in the games, there was a Rustboro Contest that served as May’s introduction to contests in the anime.
> 
> Hoenn contest battles tend to be a little more like regular battles where the objective is to knock out the opponent, but with a creative twist. This isn’t the case in Sinnoh, where more emphasis is placed on execution rather than power. 
> 
> Well, this concludes Rustboro! Next time, setting sail to Dewford!


	14. Anchors Aweigh! Setting Sail to Dewford Town!

Milo, Melissa, Zack, Amanda, Lydia, and their Pokémon emerged from Petalburg Woods without serious injury. Diogee had been a huge help in predicting where flaming tree branches and Slakoth would fall, while Milo’s pocket masks were great tools for avoiding smoke inhalation.

Since the local fire departments already had their Water-types combating the flames and rescuing the local wildlife, they didn’t stick around and continued on their way to Captain Jack’s seaside cottage. 

_“Breaking news! The Rustboro Gym and Contest Hall have been destroyed, the Petalburg Woods is on fire, and Ace Trainer Kayla has nicknamed her Kecleon ‘Cleko’. What a beautiful nickname for a beautiful Kecleon! It’s a better name than before, how fortunate for Kayla and Cleko to experience the bond that unites trainer and Pokémon!”_

Melissa muted her PokéNav, which was now reporting the detailed shopping habits of students at Lilycove Prep. 

To be honest, it was kinda creepy. 

The cottage overlooked a beach, where many fishermen hooked Magikarp and Tentacool. Zack latched onto Milo as a human shield, which made walking up to the cottage awkward. 

“I need to lay down a ground rule so Captain Jack doesn’t have an incentive to try and strand us on an island: don’t ask why he has a Chatot instead of Wingull,” Milo said. “He’s a bit touchy about that.” 

With that last bit of advice, he knocked on the door and accidentally put a large hole through the middle. Then the rest of the wooden slabs splintered into pieces. 

Captain Jack chased Gary around a table, completely ignoring their visitors and broken door. 

“Hey, Captain Jack!” Milo waved. “Sorry to interrupt, but when you’re done with your game, could you please take us to Dewford?” 

“Milo said you could give us a lift to Slateport,” Amanda added. 

“That was the last strawberry, Gary!” Captain Jack complained. “You know perfectly well it’s the last harvest of the season!” 

Gary twittered and fluffed his tail in Captain Jack’s direction. “Gary deserve! Like getting on nerves!” 

“I’m a reasonable man. I’ll just take the last clementine as payment,” Captain Jack said with a sly grin. 

“RAWK! BAWK!” Gary screeched. 

Captain Jack finally took notice of Milo and his friends, then quickly clamped his hands around Gary’s beak. Gary flapped his wings in protest. “Gary, keep your fowl beak shut around children!” Captain Jack exclaimed. Gary glared at him.  “And no, taking the last clementine does not qualify as cruel and unusual punishment!” 

“Uh, sure. Melissa, Zack, and I would like to go to Dewford please. And Amanda and Lydia are heading to Slateport,” Milo said. 

“The CEO of Mahlson Corp asked us to do a few favors. Do you know Captain Webber by any chance?” Lydia asked. 

Captain Jack frowned. “Ah, yes. The guy who snapped his fingers and claimed it was okay when we capsized on an island because he couldn’t predict the ocean currents properly. The guy who claimed it was okay when he was promoted because his father knows the first cousin of the fleet admiral and I got stuck on potato peeling duty for five years! The guy who opened the oven when I told him not to and utterly ruined my puff pastry so that I could never show my face at a dinner party again!”

“We probably shouldn’t open that can of Wurmple,” Melissa whispered. 

“Anyway,” Zack said slowly, hoping to get Captain Jack focused on navigating and not some years-old grudge with a fellow seagoer. “We just wanna head to Dewford and Slateport.”

“Take the plunge! Take the plunge!” Gary squawked. 

“You don’t mind if we take Gary’s favorite vessel, right?” Captain Jack asked. 

“Nope, we don’t mind at all!” Milo said. 

* * *

When Gary’s favorite vessel turned out to be a very old and very foreboding ship, Milo realized that his friends cared deeply about their mode of transportation. 

“Next time, I’ll be the negotiator,” Melissa muttered, deftly avoiding a loose wooden board that promptly crashed into a storage area below. 

Amanda helped Zack into another life jacket. He heavily resembled a traffic light with the three life jackets he’d already donned. 

“Don’t you have enough life jackets?” Lydia asked in concern. 

“Welcome to the S.S Plunge,” Captain Jack said proudly, kissing the faded lettering on the captain’s door. “No storm, stone, or iceberg can strike her down to Davy Jones! She’s virtually unsinkable!” 

Everyone followed Zack’s example and put on another life jacket. 

“I’ve never been on a ship that wasn’t sinking before,” Milo admitted as Captain Jack undid the restraints that tied the S.S Plunge to the docks. He caught Zack’s bewildered look, then realized that was probably not the best reassurance to give someone who was deeply afraid of what lurked below. “Sorry, Zack.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Zack shrugged. “Though let’s try to keep the fish Pokémon out of the boat, alright?” 

“Do you have Jellicent in Hoenn?” Lydia asked. She peered at the ocean closely. “We’re always told to avoid their territory at sea. It’s said they make homes out of underwater ship graveyards, and if you wander too close, they’ll drag you down into the abyss where you’ll never be seen again.” 

“We don’t have Jellicent here,” Melissa said. “I’ve only seen them when Milo and Sara begged me to stay for an all-night Dr. Magnezone marathon.” She rubbed her arms in embarrassment. “I was jumpy for days after that…” 

“Episode 79: ’The Depths of Bermuda Bay’,” Milo said, grinning at the memory of Melissa clinging to a pillow when the red-eyed Jellicent flitted across the screen. He’d seen her face runaway Camerupt with nothing but a stuffed Snubbull and a lanyard, but seeing her afraid of a puppet where the stitching was highly visible was downright surreal. 

That particular episode was infamous for its creepy imagery in the Dr. Magnezone community. 

Lydia sighed in relief. “I’m glad. Their tentacles creep me out so much.”

The S.S Plunge shuddered and lurched forward, sending everyone crashing to the floor. 

“Sorry!” Captain Jack said hastily over an intercom. “She’s just pulling out of port. We’ll be in Dewford in an hour and a half, give or take a few minutes!”

“Since we have a while, who wants to help me record the events that happened so far?” Melissa asked. “This’ll be a great baseline for the life story I plan to sell.” 

* * *

One hour later, Milo and Diogee had settled into their niche of driving away hungry Wingull while everyone else helped Melissa remember the important things. They had fun embellishing their run-in with Team Magma in Rusturf Tunnel. 

“So then Torchic and Shroomish are hanging on by a thread, an inevitable defeat drawing closer, then Marshtomp suddenly appears to save the day!” Lydia exclaimed. 

“Or we could say that Treecko used his speed to confuse them, allowing Milo to swoop in and take both Gary and the briefcase,” Amanda suggested. 

Zack rolled his eyes. “Why do all your suggestions involve Milo and his Pokémon ultimately defeating Team Magma? What are Melissa, Bradley, and I doing?” 

“You were incapacitated due to the Whismur,” Lydia replied. “Besides, the leader of the group is always the one who does the confronting. The rest of the party usually gets preoccupied with other things.” 

“Since when is Milo the leader?” Zack asked. 

“Since he got the gene for good charisma,” Melissa replied. “Keep ‘em coming, everyone. These are gold so far!” 

* * *

“Zack, look! I’m king of the world!” Milo laughed as he ran up to the bow of the ship, spreading his arms wide as the cool sea breeze whipped around him. 

Zack stood a safe distance away while Diogee held onto Milo’s life jackets with his teeth to prevent him from falling. Upon closer inspection, the railing didn’t hold much integrity.

Milo stepped back just as part of the railing broke off and dropped into the rippling ocean below. Then the ship lurched again, and Diogee lost his grip on Milo. Milo stumbled over the edge, though his fall was broken by a lifeboat. 

“Milo overboard!” Zack hollered. Milo heard Zack’s frantic footsteps as he tried to figure out a way to help. 

“Zack, it’s okay! I have a grapple!” Milo yelled, He waved the rope above his head and threw it as far he could. He tugged, frowning slightly when the line didn’t feel tight enough to support his weight. 

He pulled back to try again, only to jump out of the way as a blur suddenly crashed into the lifeboat and made the entire structure sway. Milo braced himself against the seat until the rocking stopped. 

“Sorry, Zack!” Milo apologized as he removed the hook from the hem of Zack’s jeans. 

“The Charmander are singing…” Zack giggled, still dizzy from his fall. 

 _Don’t worry, we’ll get you up_ , Melissa had texted. 

Ten minutes later, everyone clung onto life preservers and tried to keep the saltwater out of their mouths as Captain Jack towed them into Dewford Town. 

* * *

_Dewford Town: Trendy phrases! Trendy surfing! Trendy fishing! Are you on the cutting edge of Hoenn trends?_

The billboard featured a supermodel and her Marill striking a flashy pose. 

“It’s been five minutes, and I’m already sick of hearing the word ‘trendy’,” Melissa said. “Amanda and Lydia are so lucky.” 

Amanda and Lydia only spent enough time in Dewford to change into dry clothes before hurrying back to the S.S Plunge. They hadn’t been interested in exploring since they heard three different people declaring their everlasting love for potion festivals. 

Captain Jack agreed to come back to Dewford when he finished taking Amanda and Lydia to Slateport. Thankfully, he had no hard feelings about the damage the S.S Plunge sustained during their little voyage. 

Besides, Milo had grown up on Dr. Magnezone. He could handle a little obsessiveness based around trendy sayings. 

“BIG LAUNDRY! I NEED MERCHANDISE OF BIG LAUNDRY!” someone screeched into a megaphone. 

“Big laundry is so two days ago,” a posh man sniffed. “Potion festivals are in.” 

“Potion festivals should be incorporated into everybody’s daily lives!” a woman sobbed. “I can’t live without potion festivals!” 

Then again, Milo knew what Dr. Magnezone fans were talking about. 

“I don’t know nothin’ about paintings! And we wouldn’t tell ya cause youse obviously one of dem potion festival wackos!”

“We be makin’ ye talk, landlubber!” a familiar voice snarled. 

As Milo, Diogee, Melissa, and Zack headed south, they caught a glimpse of a trio in blue bandanas and scruffy, cheap pirate clothing from a Halloween store cornering an old woman against the sand dunes. 

“Do you know who we are?” the only woman in the trio taunted, pointing to the skull-like ‘A’ in the middle of her bandana. “Team Aqua, scourge of humanity! We take what we want, and that includes information!” 

The third member of the trio remained silent, coolly watching his teammates try to wheedle information out of their would-be informant. His bandana was set low over his eyes, hiding all but his dark, prominent eyebags from view. 

Diogee jumped between the old woman and the Aqua members, crouching low and growling. 

“I thought Officer Elliot carted you off,” Melissa said to Patchy, who stepped back after Diogee waved his horn at him. 

“Aye, but there be only three sea shanties a man can take,” Patchy leered. “I know ye three scallywags. And I be not the forgivin’ type.” 

He threw a Poké Ball and released an aggressive-looking fish Pokémon. Zack eyed the razor-sharp teeth warily before sending out Treecko. 

“Zack, stick to long-range attacks,” Milo advised. “Carvanha has the Rough Skin ability. Its skin is super abrasive and can really hurt Treecko if you use contact moves.” 

Zack nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll be careful.” 

“Mari! John!” Patchy barked. “I be needin’ assistance!” 

Mari eagerly jumped in with her Masquerain, and Melissa sent out Torchic to cover Treecko’s weaknesses. Patchy and Mari forgot the old woman entirely, but John intercepted her as she tried to sneak off and whispered something in her ear. 

The old woman pointed frantically at a nearby cave, and John let her go with a curt nod. She muttered something about potion festival hooligans before rushing back to town, unwilling to stay any longer than she had to. 

“What are you waiting for, John?” Mari called. “Send someone out already so we can crush ‘em!” 

John crossed his arms. “Not worth my time and effort,” he grunted harshly. “Unlike you bozos, I choose my battles wisely.” 

Carvanha barely managed to intercept a Fire Spin intended for Masquerain. 

“And I also pay attention to what my opponents are doing,” John added. 

Mari growled. “That was cheap, you brat!”

“Not my fault. You gave me the opportunity,” Melissa shrugged. “Fire Spin again!” 

“Oh no you don’t! Use Water Sport!” Mari yelled.

Bubbles formed along Masquerain’s body just as Fire Spin engulfed it. Melissa pursed her lips when the bubbles cushioned the majority of Fire Spin’s damage. 

Meanwhile, Carvanha bit down on Treecko’s tail and refused to let go. Treecko winced but didn’t cry out in pain, and Zack was watching the thrashing Water-type carefully in case it flailed in his direction. 

“Torchic, get Carvanha off Treecko!” Melissa shouted. 

Torchic scored her feet against Carvanha’s side, and it let go of Treecko with an angry snap of its teeth. Torchic hopped from foot to foot, chirping in pain from Rough Skin.

Torchic and Treecko lost their footing due to Masquerain’s Gust, slipping against the sand as they struggled to their feet. 

“Melissa, we need a plan!” Zack said frantically as Treecko was hit by a Hidden Power from Carvanha. It didn’t seem to be a type that was super-effective against Grass, but it still did a number on Treecko. 

“I’m trying! But she just has to have Water Sport and—Torchic, roll!” 

Torchic narrowly avoided a Bubble attack, then sent an Ember at Masquerain. It managed to clip the edge of Masquerain’s left wing, but didn’t do enough damage to slow it down. 

“Treecko, Bullet Seed on Carvanha!” Zack ordered. 

“He be an annoyin’ one,” Patchy said. “Use Rage!” 

Carvanha charged at Treecko, its body illuminated by a dangerous red light. Treecko fired a barrage of seeds to counter, but Carvanha broke through after a brief stalemate and slammed into Treecko. 

Treecko skidded across the beach, landing partway in the surf. 

Diogee snarled as Zack shouted at Treecko to get up, but Milo held him back. Diogee’s interference would be heavily frowned on by both sides, regardless of their morals.

Torchic held her opponents at bay with Fire Spin for now, but she would eventually be overwhelmed. 

“You have to help, Treecko!” Zack insisted. “We can’t let these Aqua goons win!” 

“Who’re you calling goon, brat?” Mari snarled. “Just for that, you’re going down first! Finish that Treecko with Gust!” 

“Don’t let that Gust hit Treecko!” Melissa yelled.

Ember interfered with Masquerain’s ability to produce a wind blast strong enough to knock out Treecko, but Torchic was wide open for Carvanha. 

“Argh, Bite that wee chick and don’t let go!” Patchy crowed. 

Carvanha clamped down on Torchic’s head and brushed its fins against her feathers, its Rough Skin crippling her further. 

Melissa reluctantly held up Torchic’s Poké Ball, ready to forfeit her part in the battle. Torchic wouldn’t last much longer at this rate. 

Diogee took several steps towards the surf, and Milo followed to make sure he didn’t jump into the middle of the battle. Diogee seemed incredibly curious about the white, glowing body lying in the surf. The body grew taller, and a white, leafy projection grew from its head. 

“Zack, Treecko’s evolving!” Milo called. 

Zack gasped as the white glow faded and his Grovyle’s brilliant green and red scales shone in the sunlight. 

Grovyle shook the water out of his leafy tail, then fixed his opponents with a stern glare. 

“Can you still fight?” Zack asked. 

Grovyle slashed the air in confirmation. 

Zack grinned, and while Mari and Patchy floundered for strategies on how to deal with Grovyle, Torchic cried out as a blinding white glow covered her body. 

Melissa shrieked with glee as two long arms tipped with sharp claws emerged from Torchic’s torso. “Dislodge that Carvanha, Tor-no, Combusken!” she screamed triumphantly. 

Combusken yanked a shocked Carvanha off her head, and Patchy screamed in rage as she drop-kicked it straight into Masquerain. Masquerain squealed as Carvanha slammed into it. Rough Skin dug into its wings, and the ability had suddenly become a hindrance for the Aqua Goons. 

“Turn off Rough Skin!” Mari shouted at Patchy, glaring daggers at him. 

“Lassie, I would, but-” 

“Well?” 

“’Tis beyond me mind.” 

“THEN FIGURE IT OUT, SEAWEED BREATH!” 

Grovyle disappeared, then reappeared behind Masquerain as it shook the sand out of its wings. The Grass-type slashed downwards, and Masquerain slammed into the sandy ground, too exhausted to continue. 

“That was Aerial Ace!” Milo shouted. “Grovyle knows Aerial Ace! That move is super cool! My dad’s Absol knows it!” 

Zack grinned. “Awesome.” 

Mari huffed disdainfully as she recalled Masquerain. “Patchy, you better beat them for me.” 

But Carvanha stood no chance against a powered-up Fire Spin and Bullet Seed combo and fainted without landing a hit on either Combusken or Grovyle. 

Patchy recalled Carvanha, but he didn’t seem too angry with his loss. “Eh, ‘tis a good fight,” he said. 

“This isn’t over!” Mari howled. “John, let me borrow your Pokémon! It wouldn’t take much to beat them now!” 

“You lost valuable time by taunting instead of attacking,” John stated coldly. “You lost it when your opponents evolved. You didn’t take advantage of Combusken’s Flying-type weakness, nor did you rely on Masquerain’s strengths.”

Mari opened her mouth to protest, but John beat her to the punch. 

“My Pokémon don’t tolerate incompetence.” 

“Aye. He has a point, he has,” Patchy agreed. “The scallywags won fairly, and ‘tis a disgrace to claim otherwise.” 

Mari let out a wordless scream of rage and stalked off. Patchy followed her, though he kept his distance. 

“Boy.” 

Milo blinked, then realized John was addressing him. It was hard to tell since his eyes were hidden. “Um, me?” Milo awkwardly pointed to himself. 

John snorted. “No, the piece of seaweed to your left. Yes, I’m talking to you. You have an Absol.” 

Milo glanced at Diogee, whose eyes flitted between Milo and John, unsure of the Aqua member’s threat level. “He’s a great partner,” Milo finally said. 

“Keep him close,” John advised. “You might need him a lot sooner than you’d expect.” 

“Of course,” Milo agreed. 

John trudged away, kicking up sand as he grumbled about his ridiculous coworkers. 

“I don’t get those guys at all,” Zack said. 

Melissa released Combusken from a celebratory hug and made a note on her phone. “Maybe I should add another charge for every questionable hire Dakota makes for his team,” she mused. 

* * *

They made a brief stop at the Pokémon Center to heal Combusken and Grovyle, then began asking the locals for directions to Granite Cave. Unfortunately, most of them believed they were either potion festival hooligans or big laundry punks and refused to give them any useful information. 

“Is there anyone in this town who isn’t crazy?” Melissa sighed, throwing a rock into the ocean in frustration. 

“WHOO-HOO! HEY, YOU ON THE BEACH! MOVE IF YOU DON’T WANNA GET SWAMPED!” someone shouted. 

A strange figure rode a giant wave, surfing rapidly towards the beach at an alarming pace. Diogee dragged Milo out of the way as Melissa and Zack took cover behind a cluster of boulders. The wave crashed onto the beach with a resounding roar, depositing a speedboat that had been painted to resemble a heavily fortified castle and its rider on the sand. 

The rider took off her helmet and squeezed the water out of her long, blonde hair. 

“Veronica?” Milo gasped. 

“Long time, no see, Milo!” Veronica grinned. Diogee circled her excitedly, and Veronica laughed as she stroked his head. “Aw, Diogee’s grown so much! You’ve been taking real good care of each other!” 

“You know each other?” Zack asked.

Milo nodded. “Melissa, Zack, this is Veronica. She was the best babysitter I’ve ever had! Haven’t seen her in like, a lot of fortnights, but she’s still awesome! And she gave me this backpack!” 

“I always wondered why you were attached to that thing,” Melissa remarked. 

“Last babysitter standing,” Veronica stated proudly. “I’ve also added pizza delivery girl and Dewford Gym Leader to my skillset. You up for a challenge, Milo? Cause I have a Knuckle Badge with your name on it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The S.S Plunge is the name of the ship that takes Dakota to the Island. It’s in the background when Dakota is at the docks and looking for the ship. 
> 
> ORAS’ default trendy saying is Potion Festivals. Unfortunately, you can’t mix and match to get the dumbest or most risque sayings like in Gen 3. 
> 
> Team Aqua returns! I was listening to Heroes of Hoenn while writing the battle scene. It helps if you really want that triumphant feeling. 
> 
> The anime does establish that Rough Skin has an off switch, but Patchy hasn’t figured that out.
> 
> Veronica is awesome.


	15. Show Your Fighting Spirit! Enter the Champion of Hoenn!

Due to BuzzNav’s latest report on the projected cost of repairs for the Rustboro Gym, Veronica and Milo agreed to battle on the beach instead so the Dewford Gym would be safe from the crossfire.

“I usually do single battles with two Pokémon per side,” Veronica called. “Is that okay with you?” 

“Fine with me!” Milo said. 

Veronica tossed her Poké Ball. “Then let the battle begin! Show us your fighting spirit, Meditite!” 

A blue and white Pokémon popped out, briefly stretching in a yoga pose before bowing politely to Milo. Milo bowed back, and Meditite was pleased at her gesture being returned. 

“Diogee, let’s start with Bite attack!” Milo ordered. 

“Detect, then follow up with Meditate!” Veronica yelled. 

Meditite’s eyes flashed red, and she disappeared as Diogee’s jaws clamped down on empty air. Diogee scuffed the sand with his claws while Meditite reappeared several feet away. Meditite closed her eyes, curling and raising her hands in a basic meditation position.

“Over there!” Milo pointed in Meditite’s direction. “Cut attack!” 

“Duck behind a sand dune and keep meditating!” Veronica yelled. 

Meditite broke her concentration briefly and ducked behind a large sand dune. Cut slammed into the thick soil, stirring up sandy clouds and bits of driftwood but leaving Meditite unharmed. 

“Try Cut again!” 

“Ready, Meditite?” Veronica called. 

Meditite nodded, vanishing before Cut connected. Then she appeared next to Diogee, her legs spread in a firm stance as he coolly sized him up. 

Milo pumped his fist in the air. “Meditite’s in range! Use Bite!” 

Diogee charged at Meditite, his mouth wide open and ready to clamp down on her head. Meditite raised her arms, her palms facing outward. 

“Force Palm now!” 

A shock wave exploded from Meditite’s palms just as Diogee reached her, blasting the Dark-type into the ocean. The tides washed over Diogee as he struggled to his feet, but Meditite never gave him the chance to recover. Since Confusion didn’t affect Dark-types, Veronica instructed Meditite to control the water around Diogee’s paws to decrease his mobility instead. Once Diogee was sufficiently trapped and more focused on freeing himself, Meditite blasted him with another Force Palm.

Diogee tried to gather enough energy for Razor Wind, but slumped to the ground, too exhausted to build it up. 

“Diogee is unable to battle!” Melissa crowed. “Meditite is the winner!”

“You did great, boy,” Milo said, giving Diogee a Sitrus Berry to eat while he recuperated on the sidelines. Diogee nudged his hand, and Milo laughed. “I’ll try, but you know she’s always been a strong trainer.” 

“Diogee’s amazing as ever, Milo!” Veronica called. “Can’t wait to see who else you have!” 

“Thanks!” Milo exclaimed. “Marshtomp, come out!” 

The Poké Ball flew backward and hit the rock next to Zack, who yelped from the realization that the device had been inches from his face. Marshtomp dug his front limbs into the sand to signify that he was ready. 

“Mud Bomb!” Milo shouted. 

A mud glob appeared in Marshtomp’s arms, and he hurled it at Meditite, who deflected it with Confusion. The mud sailed into the ocean instead. 

Then Meditite turned Confusion onto Marshtomp. A mysterious blue power lit up her eyes, the aura surrounding Marshtomp as he clutched his head and tried to fight her off.  

“Go ahead and release Marshtomp!” Veronica yelled. 

Marshtomp flew into a sand dune. When he came out, he stumbled dizzily and fired a Water Gun at the ocean. 

“Aim a Mud Bomb at Meditite!” Milo called. 

Marshtomp created a Mud Bomb, but it sailed away from the sandy field instead. 

Veronica grinned. “Perfect, he’s confused! Get in close with a double Force Palm!” 

Meditite aimed one Force Palm in Marshtomp’s shoulder and another on his stomach. The shock wave snapped him out of confusion, but his limbs were locked in place. 

“Try to shake off the paralysis!” Milo yelled. 

But it only took one more Force Palm-Confusion combo to bring Marshtomp down. Milo recalled Marshtomp as Melissa announced the end of the battle and declared Veronica the winner. 

“That was a great battle, Veronica,” Milo said. “Your Meditite is really strong!” 

“Thanks, Milo!” Veronica said. “You’re not half-bad yourself. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to beat me soon. You’ve just gotta work on it more. And maybe not use a Dark-type against a Fighting-type.” 

Milo laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Veronica’s phone buzzed, and she rolled her eyes. “That’s my other occupation calling. Gotta deliver a vegetarian pizza to some people at Sea Mauville. Weird place to have a pizza party, but hey, money’s money. In the meantime, why don’t you go train in Granite Cave? Just keep heading north and you’ll see it! Who knows? You might meet some cool Pokémon in there.” 

She whistled, summoning a Dodrio whose three heads continued to squabble as she mounted it. 

“By the way, I’m a huge fan of your work,” Veronica said to Zack, who blushed and looked away. “ _Chop, chop, chop, chop away at my heart, I can feel it falling_ -”

Her singing faded into the distance as Dodrio sped away, leaving large sand clouds in its wake. 

“What was that about?” Milo asked.

Zack’s laugh was strained. “Oh, she was just singing ‘We’re Going to the Safari Zone’! You know, the prequel to ‘I’m Going to the Safari Zone’! _”_

Melissa glanced at him. _“_ I have no idea what you heard, but what she sang was more general pop song dedicated to reining in tweenagers and middle-aged women’s hearts than a random tune someone makes up for a laugh.” 

“Ah...you know, we should really run by the Center. Milo’s Pokémon took quite the beating today!” Zack exclaimed hastily. 

* * *

 

Diogee wasn’t happy about his 24-hour ban from battles. During Nurse Joy’s examination, she’d discovered that his mouth was more sensitive than normal due to Meditite’s Force Palm. She reassured Milo that point-blank Force Palms were one of Veronica’s favorite tactics and that the resulting shock wave caused mild soreness in some Pokémon. 

She proposed a soft food diet and a 24-hour ban from excessive activity, and Milo accepted it. He didn’t mind putting off the rematch. 

Then they headed north, ignoring all the taunts from the potion festivals and big laundry groups in town. True to Veronica’s word, Granite Cave sat on the northern edge of the island. Signposts surrounded the entrance, containing descriptions for what kinds of Pokémon could be found inside, several warnings to trainers, and a promotional poster for a new Stumbleberry Swoobat movie.

They decided to deliver the letter to Orton before focusing on training. Melissa wanted to train Poochyena more, while Zack wanted to work on an appeal with Whismur.

Milo provided headlamps for everyone, including a special one for Diogee that accommodated his horn. He also moved several flashlights and battery packs to the front of his backpack for easy access in case the headlamps broke. 

They entered the cave, and Milo was almost bowled over by a hiker screaming about darkness and stalactites. 

“TURN BACK!” he screamed. “NEVER AGAIN! THE DARKNESS WILL CONSUME US ALL!” The hiker continued his hysterics on the beach, prompting an annoyed Corphish to knock him unconscious with Crabhammer.

While the cave wasn’t narrow enough to trigger Zack’s claustro-avoidant tendencies, the headlamps only provided enough light for a ten-foot radius. Everything else was shrouded in pitch black, making it impossible to discern where a passageway began. 

“ECHO!” Milo shouted.

_Echo! Echo! Macadamia! Echo!_

Milo shrugged. “Well, I tried. Though I should really get my echo fixed.” 

“Try what exactly?” Zack asked. 

“Spontaneously develop echolocation,” Milo said. “Maybe you have to get bitten by radioactive Zubat first though.” 

Melissa shuddered. “Let’s not. And besides, remember how we tried to fix your echo when we were eight? Lavaridge Elliot still hasn’t forgiven us for accidentally slathering him in sour cream.”

Before Zack could ask for more details, Diogee shoved Milo to the ground, narrowly avoiding several fast-moving rock projectiles. Unfortunately, the fall broke Milo’s headlamp and left their field of visibility slightly dimmer. 

“Someone’s trying to use Rock Tomb on us,” Melissa said as she released Poochyena. “Keep your ears peeled, okay?” 

Poochyena growled, crouching in front of Melissa protectively. 

Diogee tensed, but Milo shook a finger at him. “No battling, Diogee. We’ll let Poochyena handle this.” 

Diogee huffed in frustration. 

“Yeah, I know. But you still have another 23 hours, so just hold tight,” Milo said as he grabbed a flashlight from his backpack. He kept the beam away from the ceiling to avoid disturbing a flock of Zubat.

The rock projectiles came flying at them again, and everybody dropped to the ground. Poochyena bared his teeth, sparks jumping out as he charged a Thunder Fang. 

Then the ground under Poochyena trembled, and a large, armored head emerged and rammed into his stomach. Poochyena howled, biting down on his attacker, but his fangs were too small to penetrate the iron plates. 

“That’s an Aron!” Melissa exclaimed. “Steel and Rock-type with sky-high defense! I’ve always wanted one of those!” 

Mr. Chase had always refused her requests for an Aron though. He was already horrified by Melissa’s tendencies to hang around Graveler, Machop, and Milo. 

“This’ll be our training time, Poochyena! Use Swagger!” 

A red aura surrounded Poochyena, and he glared ferociously at Aron. Aron refused to be intimidated though, and tunneled through the ground to avoid Poochyena’s gaze. Then Aron slammed into Poochyena’s stomach again. 

“Melissa, maybe you should switch to Combusken,” Zack suggested. 

Melissa gritted her teeth. “No, Poochyena can do this!” 

Poochyena whimpered, baring his fangs stubbornly at Aron. Sparks flew from his mouth as he jumped onto Aron’s back, then it was replaced by bright burning flames. 

“Fire Fang, great job!” Melissa called. “Hang on for a little longer!” 

Poochyena pressed his Fire Fang against the iron plates, and Aron wailed as she tried to buck Poochyena off. When Poochyena finally let go, Aron was breathing heavily. A fire sprung up around her armored body, even though Poochyena didn’t land another Fire Fang. 

“Okay, I think Aron’s weakened enough!” Melissa raised a Poké Ball in triumph. “Welcome to the-” 

A weak jolt of electricity struck her hand. Startled, Melissa dropped her Poké Ball. 

“Are you okay?” Milo asked. He checked her hand in case she needed burn ointment, but the skin was smooth and unmarked. 

“Don’t worry,” Melissa said. “You know how they have those slides at playgrounds with the metal bolt inside and it zaps you when you touch it? It just felt like that. I’m alright, I was just—for lack of a better word—shocked. Poochyena, use Fire Fang on whoever did that!” 

A barrage of shimmering leaves struck Poochyena, and the Dark-type collapsed.

“Take a rest, okay?” Melissa said as she recalled Poochyena. 

“The sign didn’t mention anything about Electric-types,” Zack said. 

“Maybe it’s a Nosepass,” Milo suggested. “They have electromagnetic capabilities. Dr. Magnezone used one as a guide to help him traverse the Ionic Mountains in the Magneto Rising arc.” 

Zack picked up a glossy leaf from the attack that knocked Poochyena out. “Then how do you explain the Grass-type move?” 

Milo had no answer for that. He carefully approached Aron with a bottle of Burn Heal, but a telekinetic power forced his hand to drop it. Then a ballerina-like Pokémon blocked his path. 

 _Kirlia, the Emotion Pokémon. The cheerful spirit of its Trainer gives it energy for its psychokinetic power. It spins and dances when happy_ , Melissa’s Pokédex said.  _This Kirlia is male and can evolve if exposed to a Dawn Stone. Moves include Teleport, Shock Wave, Magical Leaf, and Confusion._

“That explains the shock and leaves,” Zack said. 

“I just wanted to be sure,” Melissa admitted. “Kirlia don’t naturally live in caves.”

Kirlia spread his arms, refusing to budge. His legs trembled rapidly despite his bravery. 

“I just wanna treat Aron’s burn,” Milo said, holding up the Burn Heal. “If you’ll let me do this, we promise to leave you alone afterward.” 

Kirlia regarded him with suspicion, but finally stepped aside and allowed Milo to spray the medicine on Aron. The burn subsided, and Aron blinked in surprise as Melissa approached and fed her an Oran Berry. Kirlia didn’t look too happy about Melissa’s proximity to Aron though. 

“Sorry about that, Aron,” Melissa said as she patted the iron plates on Aron’s back. “I didn’t expect that Fire Fang either.” 

All of Aron’s previous animosity vanished, and she curiously poked around in Melissa’s bag for more berries. Kirlia said something in Pokémon language that Aron clearly didn’t like, and soon the two were snapping at each other. 

“Do you know what they’re saying?” Milo asked Diogee. 

Diogee rolled a Poké Ball to Melissa and dropped another one in front of Milo. When Milo tried to pick it up, Diogee snatched it away. 

“Diogee says Aron wants to go with Melissa but Kirlia doesn’t want his friend to leave,” Milo translated. 

“I thought he just wanted to play fetch,” Zack remarked. 

“I wouldn’t mind having you on the team, Aron,” Melissa said. Aron looked up hopefully. “But you should probably talk it over with Kirlia first.” 

Aron rolled her eyes, trodding over to the Poké Ball that Melissa dropped earlier. She tapped it with a stubby leg and allowed herself to be sucked inside, and the Poké Ball clicked for a successful capture. Aron didn’t resist at all. 

Kirlia could only stare in disbelief. Then he stomped his foot and gave every angry non-verbal gesture imaginable before shoving a Poké Ball into Milo’s hands and ordering him to throw it. Instead, Milo gently tapped the Poké Ball against Kirlia’s head. 

Kirlia looked rather surprised at the gesture as he vanished in a burst of red light. The Poké Ball wobbled violently, and it took a full minute before they heard the click. 

Under normal circumstances, Milo would’ve celebrated adding new Pokémon to his team, but something just felt off. 

But he was still hopeful that he and Kirlia could be friends. 

* * *

 

Turned out Aron and Kirlia had seen Orton Mahlson, though they both hid behind a large rock as he passed them. 

“Do you mind leading us to him? If you know where he went, I mean,” Melissa asked. 

Aron had extensive knowledge of the tunnels underneath Granite Cave. With Marshtomp’s help, they cleared a passage wide enough for everyone to squeeze through. Kirlia stayed near the back, glaring at Aron as she acted as a guide for the humans. 

Aron’s tunneling led them to a large, expansive room with sunlight filtering in through cracks in the ceiling, and for once everyone could see without the use of a headlamp. 

They crawled out of the hole that Aron made, surprising a man in an odd silver suit. His light brown hair was half-hidden by a gray steampunk styled hat, and one shoe was futuristic and sleek while the other resembled a sandal from ancient times. Although he was missing the giant magnet prop he wore on his right hand for the show, he still wore the iconic robot-like backpack. 

Milo was instantly starstruck. “Hi, Orton Mahlson, sir! My name’s Milo Murphy and I’m a really huge fan of your show and your work as Champion! These are my friends Melissa Chase and Zack Underwood! And my Absol, Diogee! Oh, and we just caught the Aron and Kirlia!” 

“Whoa, you look a lot older than you do on TV,” Zack said. 

Orton raised an eyebrow. “And you kids tunneled all the way here to tell me that? I’m not here to give autographs or shelfies or however you kids commemorate meeting celebrities these days. You’ll have to wait for the next sci-fi convention when my agent’s present.” 

“Well, not exactly,” Milo said. “But if you’re offering-”

Melissa elbowed Milo. “We met your dad, Orville Mahlson, after we stopped Team Magma from stealing important data from his company. He wanted us to deliver this letter to you. Oh, and he mentioned you’d be in Granite Cave, and we befriended this Aron and Kirlia who saw you walk by and agreed to help us find you. Please don’t file restraining orders for stalking against us.” 

She handed Orville’s letter over. Orton’s mouth twitched in amusement as he ripped open the envelope, took one look at the paper inside, and laughed so hard that he overbalanced from the weight of his backpack and fell to the ground. 

The letter fluttered out of his grip and landed on Milo’s shoes. 

_Dear Orton,_

_Hi!_

_Love, Dad_

“We stumbled through a cave without natural light for this?” Melissa complained. 

Milo couldn’t help but laugh too. “You have to admit, it’s pretty funny after you get over the shock.” 

“You guys got an Aron and Kirlia now. It wasn’t entirely pointless,” Zack said. 

Orton finally stopped laughing, wiping a tear from his eye as he stood up. “I’m so sorry about that, kids,” he said, though he still sounded like he was going to have another bout of laughter. “My old man’s a jokester. It’s not the first time he’s pulled something like this.” 

“He could’ve texted you,” Melissa replied, making it clear she didn’t find the situation all that funny. 

“I suppose, but he likes to have fun,” Orton admitted. “Tell you what, since you went through all that trouble for a delivery, why don’t I make it worth your while? Do kids still like ancient paintings?” 

“We sure do!” Milo exclaimed. 

“Excellent!” Orton said. “Painting’s on the far wall! If you’ll follow me!” 

A massive, ancient painting had been etched onto the smooth stone wall. The left side depicted an enormous behemoth whose presence triggered volcanic eruptions and earthquakes, leaving desolate, parched earth in its wake. Its gaping maw shot columns of fire into the sky.

The right side displayed an oceanic leviathan capable of stirring up devastating thunderstorms and tsunamis. Swirling vortexes of water swallowed entire islands, leaving nothing but churning, murky waves behind.

Orton allowed everyone time to look over the painting before he spoke. “This is where I come for inspiration. As I’m sure you’re aware, I draw inspiration from old myths and legends. For example, the character Roserade Verde was inspired by local stories from the woodcutters around Ilex Forest, who say there’s a presence called the Voice of the Forest. There’s a shrine supposedly hidden somewhere deep in those woods.” 

“So are you planning to use this painting somehow in the future?” Milo asked. 

Orton chuckled. “I’m not going to answer that. Some of you become rather huffy about spoilers. But there’s another a reason I’m here. I’ve been helping my old man find proof that the Legendary Pokémon said to have created Hoenn have another form. A form that wields such incomprehensible power and devastating strength. Energy that is supposedly similar to Mega Evolution, yet not quite the same. To think that such a terrible and awe-inspiring battle could’ve happened in recorded history...it’s all quite fascinating.” 

Orton took a breath, ready to gush more about ancient legends, but heavy footprints echoed from the corridor. Kirlia and Aron tensed, and Diogee whined about having to stay put if there was a battle. 

“Just my luck running into you three again,” someone said from the corridor. “As if my current co-workers aren’t enough of a headache already.” 

“It’s John!” Zack gasped when they recognized the Aqua member who obscured his hair and eyes with a large blue bandana, then frowned. “Okay, that sounded a lot more frightening in my head.” 

“Yeah, he just doesn’t have a terrifying name,” Melissa agreed. 

“He should change it to like, the Blue Scourge or something,” Milo said. 

John ignored them as he shoved past Orton and examined the painting.

“Um, I’m kinda out of the loop here,” Orton said. 

“He threatened an old lady to reveal something about paintings, and we kicked his coworkers’ butts in a Pokémon battle,” Melissa supplied. 

“How does he even see with that bandana?” Milo asked. 

Zack shrugged. “I just assume it’s see-through.” 

“Everybody shut up,” John growled. “It’s obvious you all can’t recognize what’s happening even when the entire story is right in front of you.” 

“Entire story?” Orton echoed. 

John glared at him, and Orton withered slightly. “For a Champion, you’re the densest moron I’ve ever met. And I work for a dense moron too, so that’s saying something. It’s your duty to protect every inhabitant of your region through knowledge. And instead, you’re just eating up the attention, focusing on silly, trivial things that may be here today but will fade away in time.” 

“Hey, don’t call him those things!” Milo protested. 

John’s head swiveled around, his lips pursing into a thin white line. Diogee growled and pushed Milo behind him. “Call off your mutt,” John said. “I’m not wasting my time with a pointless battle.” 

“Down, Diogee,” Milo whispered, gently pushing on his shoulders until he finally backed off. 

“By the way, there’s a third aspect you’re forgetting,” John called over his shoulder as he departed from the room. 

“That guy’s real cheery,” Melissa muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to everyone who’s ever had trouble with Brawly and his Makuhita. He’s not really that formidable in ORAS, but in Gen 3 you don’t want his Makuhita getting in all those Bulk Ups and demolishing your team with Vital Throw. Plus, if you inflict a status condition on it, it has the Guts ability which will make it even stronger.
> 
> Meditate raises Attack, which in turn would raise the power of Force Palm. Force Palm also has a 30% chance of paralysis, which unfortunately happened to Marshtomp. Meditite also has the Pure Power ability, which doubles its Attack.
> 
> Kirlia’s Pokedex entry is the Firered/Leafgreen and X description. I really love the Ralts line.
> 
> Aron family is another Gen 3 favorite as well!
> 
> The gang meeting Orton in person is pretty much a modified version of Sara, Melissa, and Zack meeting Orton in Missing Milo.
> 
> Orton’s outfit in this story is basically a silver colored version of the Dr. Zone outfit, and with a magnet instead of a gift box.
> 
> In ORAS, the paintings in Granite Cave depend on the version you play. Omega Ruby has Groudon, Alpha Sapphire has Kyogre. Here they’re side by side.


	16. Rematch on the Beach! Kirlia Makes His Decision!

“Daylight! I missed you so much! And you too, beach! And I missed you, promotional poster of Stumbleberry Swoobat!” Zack hollered the moment he was free of the oppressive darkness that permeated Granite Cave. 

Orton had declined their offer to use Aron’s tunnel to escape Granite Cave. He wanted to study the painting further, and he had to rely on hand-written notes because flash photography would’ve ruined the quality. 

Aron and Kirlia had taken to ignoring each other. Kirlia still wasn’t happy about being captured, but Aron had taken to Melissa like a Magikarp to water. 

Diogee did his best to prove that Milo was trustworthy, mostly by acting cute enough to get a snack, but Kirlia wasn’t having any of it. 

“Kirlia, would it be alright if I used you in a practice match against Zack?” Milo asked. “He needs to train his Pokémon for his next Contest.”

Kirlia glanced over to Zack, who was now instructing Whismur to create several orange rings of increasing size with Echoed Voice. Since the move increased in power with repeated use, Zack was hoping to use that to his advantage in an appeal. 

“To be honest, I’d like to use you in my gym battle,” Milo admitted. “If that’s alright with you. I think it’s really sweet that you want to make sure Aron’s fine, even if you don’t like being captured yourself.” 

Kirlia kicked the sand, his legs trembling rapidly until he used Confusion to force them to go still. 

Aron glanced at Kirlia in worry before remembering that she was supposed to be ignoring him, returning to her half-eaten Chesto Berry. 

“Hey, Milo! You ready?” Zack called. Whismur’s ears flapped in excitement. 

Kirlia folded his arms and gracefully hopped in front of Milo, coolly observing Zack and Whismur. 

“You don’t have to battle. I can use someone else,” Milo said. Kirlia folded his arms and stubbornly fixed Milo with a stern glare. Milo held up his hands placatingly.  “Alright then. Let’s get started, Zack!”

“I’m gonna be over here,” Melissa said, heading over to a secluded spot by Granite Cave. “Worldbuilding with ancient legends is definitely a surefire hook for readers.” 

She opened a notebook and started writing. 

Milo and Zack gave her enough space to focus on her own activities but still allow her to watch their practice match. 

“Let’s start with Astonish!” Zack exclaimed. 

“Counter with Magical Leaf!” Milo yelled. 

Whismur’s ears waggled cutely as he charged at Kirlia, not even remotely threatening. Kirlia raised his arm and stopped Whismur in his tracks with Confusion, encasing the Whisper Pokémon in blue light before tossing him aside with a disinterested flick. 

“Er, looks like we both have things to work on,” Zack admitted. “You alright, Whismur?” 

Whismur’s mouth quivered, but he unleashed an Echoed Voice anyway. Kirlia teleported away from the attack, reappearing behind Whismur and striking him with Magical Leaf.

Milo quickly found that Kirlia didn’t follow instructions. If he called for Magical Leaf, Kirlia would use Confusion. If he asked Kirlia to dodge with Teleport, Kirlia would stand his ground instead. 

“Shock Wave!” Milo called, realizing Kirlia hadn’t used this move yet. Kirlia had no issue hurling Magical Leaf or Confusion, nor evading with Teleport. It seemed odd that Kirlia held back on using the last move in his arsenal. 

Instead of attacking with Shock Wave, Kirlia paused to glare at Milo, his red eyes blazing furiously. While his guard was down, Whismur managed to land a Stomp and Astonish combo. 

“Sorry, Kirlia,” Milo said. “You don’t have to do Shock Wave if you don’t want to.”

Kirlia stared down at the sand, then released a weak jolt of electricity that fizzled out ten feet away. 

Shock Wave was a mid-level Electric attack, stronger than Thundershock but not nearly as powerful as Wild Charge. Heck, some people would barely consider that weak jolt a Thundershock. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll work on it some other time,” Milo said. 

Kirlia huffed as if he didn’t believe there would be ‘some other time.’ But the tension visibly melted out of his shoulders. 

Aron called out to Kirlia from the sideline but hastily looked away when Kirlia glanced at her. 

“Echoed Stomp!” Zack shouted. 

“That’s not a real-” Milo started to say, but his mouth dropped open in surprise when Whismur skillfully stomped on Kirlia’s head while wailing loudly enough to create several orange sound waves of increasing size. 

“Use Confusion and stop those sound waves!” Milo yelled hastily. 

To his amazement, Kirlia recovered quickly and thrust his arm out just as the sound waves were about to pummel him, freezing the orange rings in place. 

“Alright, we found our mojo!” Milo cheered. “Now throw them back!” 

Whismur weaved to the side to avoid the oncoming Echoed Voice, but Kirlia trapped him between two of the rings and flicked the smallest one into his body, which dissipated with a loud shriek. 

Unfortunately, Zack was caught in the blast zone. 

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Zack shouted to Whismur, who just looked confused.

“Soundproof ability!” Melissa yelled. “The Whismur family is immune to all sound-based attacks!” 

“WHAT?” Zack shouted back, his volume control sorely lacking. 

“Okay, I think we’re good,” Milo said. “I’m calling it off until Zack gets his hearing back. Again.” 

Kirlia released another weak Shock Wave, sighing when the ocean barely conducted it. 

“You’re really strong, Kirlia,” Milo said. “I’m sure you’ll get Shock Wave with enough practice.” 

Kirlia turned away. 

“Hey, Diogee’s still banned from battling for another nineteen hours-oh, don’t give me the Lillipup eyes, Diogee, you know it’s true-but anyway, I think you’d be great to have on my side when I rematch Veronica. Again, I’m not gonna force you to battle if you don’t want to. And I promise I’ll release you if you prefer living in Granite Cave. Melissa won’t hang onto Aron either, I trust her. Just think about it, okay?”

Kirlia teleported onto a flat rock and stared off into the horizon. Assuming Kirlia just wanted to think for a little while, Milo left him alone for now.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sir, we’ve delivered the letter,” Melissa reported, putting her PokéNav on speakerphone so Milo and Zack could listen in too. “Though I do have some concerns about you apparently believing we’re a free delivery service. And some warning about the visibility in Granite Cave would have been nice to know.” 

Orville chuckled. “Of course. I apologize for that. I haven’t received word from Amanda and Lydia yet, but I assume that’s because Slateport has plenty of tourist attractions and has probably distracted them with other pursuits.” 

“Your son is even cooler in person!” Milo exclaimed. “He sure knows a lot about ancient legends!” 

“Speaking as a father, you don’t know how much it prides me to hear that, Milo,” Orville replied. Someone else spoke in the background. “Yes, of course, Clara. I’ll be right down. Ah, if you’ll excuse me, I have another matter to attend to. There was another incident with the MULCHGT machine, and I have no choice but to fire the scientist responsible. Plus we may need to bring in some Pokémon to trim Dylan’s new Tangrowth vines to a manageable length. And by manageable length, I mean make some other parts of his body visible besides his eyes.” 

The PokéNav clicked, signaling the end of the call. 

“We should really get Bradley’s phone number,” Zack said. “He’ll be happy to hear that, I think. Or Bradley happy, which is probably just a notch higher than grumpy.” 

“Next time we get used as a delivery service, I’m charging for labor costs,” Melissa muttered. 

“I can’t wait to see how Orton’s gonna use that painting in Dr. Magnezone,” Milo said. 

“Hey, Zack. Something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Melissa said as she flicked through her phone. “Orton mentioned a legend from Ilex Forest. Since you’re from Johto, I was just wondering if you’d heard anything like that.” 

Zack shook his head. “Must be a local legend. Johto has tons of folktales that are specific to the area. I’m from Olivine City, on the opposite side of the region from Ilex Forest. I grew up with tales of the Beast of the Sea, not the Voice of the Forest. First time I’ve heard that one, actually.” 

“Spill, I wanna hear all about this Beast of the Sea,” Melissa said. 

“Well, there’s an archipelago called the Whirl Islands just outside Olivine,” Zack said. “It’s really dangerous for ships because of the constant whirlpools that surround the caves there. Sailors say the whirlpools were created from the Beast of the Sea’s power to protect itself from humans. Supposedly it sleeps in the deepest ocean trench.” 

“So did your Beast of the Sea create Johto’s oceans?” Milo asked. 

“No, it just guards them. Ocean creation seems to be a Hoenn specialty,” Zack replied. 

“I don’t want to be reminded of Team Aqua right now,” Melissa sighed. “Two encounters with that John guy is enough.” 

Melissa was spared the pain of reflecting on their chance meetings with Team Aqua due to a sandy cloud billowing in their direction. Milo tossed Melissa and Zack goggles and an oxygen mask just in case, but the sandy cloud subsided to reveal Veronica in her pizza delivery outfit, which heavily resembled medieval armor. Her Dodrio’s three heads pecked at a pouch on her hip, but Veronica simply moved the flap out of their way and let them eat. 

Her steel gauntlet blocked the heads from accidentally pecking her arm as they squabbled among themselves for food. 

“Yo! I’m all done with my shift!” Veronica exclaimed. “Ready for the rematch?” 

Somehow Milo had lost track of time. The sunset bathed the ocean in a brilliant shade of orange, the low tide pulling water further away from the beach. 

“Maybe tomorrow?” Milo asked. “My Pokémon aren’t ready tonight.” 

Veronica nodded. “Sure, no prob! Meditite likes to spend evenings training alone anyway. See ya tomorrow!”

She hopped on Dodrio and sped back to town. 

“We should get back to the Pokémon Center and rest up,” Melissa yawned. 

While Zack helped Melissa pick up her things, Milo checked up on Kirlia. The Emotion Pokémon stood up, brushing sand off his skirt-like ruffles. Then he nodded to Milo. 

“So you want to battle tomorrow then?” Milo asked. 

Kirlia crossed his arms. 

“Just making sure,” Milo said. “Let’s do our best, okay?” 

The corner of Kirlia’s mouth quirked, though it disappeared faster than Milo could blink. 

 

* * *

 

 

They met Veronica on the beach after breakfast. The Pokémon Center had great beds, and Milo was well-rested for his rematch. 

Diogee still had a few hours left before his battling ban was lifted, so he had to stay sidelined. He wasn’t happy, but Milo promised to use him in his next gym battle. 

Only the first bed had collapsed while he was on it, so he considered it a good night. 

“This is a rematch between the Dewford Gym Leader Veronica and the challenger Milo Murphy!” Melissa declared. “Single battle rules, two Pokémon allowed per side! When you’re ready, release your Pokémon!” 

“Sorry, Milo! Still don’t plan on losing! Fighting spirit, Riolu!” Veronica yelled, tossing her Poké Ball high into the air. 

Riolu adopted a battle pose that might’ve been intimidating if he was larger, but came off as rather adorable instead. 

“Let’s go, Marshtomp!” Milo shouted. 

Marshtomp’s Poké Ball hit a beach umbrella, snapping it shut just as Marshtomp popped out. Only his legs and tail were visible, and the battle was put on hold so Milo could extract Marshtomp. 

Milo used a pair of scissors to cut through the giant Psyducky Momo emblazoned across the umbrella. Thankfully, Marshtomp forgave him once he was freed and they turned back to Veronica and Riolu. 

“Quick Attack!” Veronica shouted. 

“Block with Mud Bomb!” 

Marshtomp created a giant ball of mud and held it above his head, eyes scanning the beach wildly for Riolu. But the Fighting-type didn’t stay still, disappearing just as Marshtomp seemed to figure out where to aim.

Just as Marshtomp closed his eyes and cried out in frustration, Riolu kicked him in the chest, jumping away when Marshtomp lost his grip on the Mud Bomb and splattered himself. 

The damage was minimal, and mud didn’t bother Marshtomp. Though the grains of sand clinging to his body probably chafed. 

“Force Palm!” 

“Use Dig to avoid it!” 

Marshtomp burrowed under the sand, barely evading Force Palm. The sand shifted around Riolu’s feet, knocking him off-balance. Marshtomp’s hand shot out from the sand, clamping down on Riolu’s tail and holding him in place as he was doused with a point-blank Water Pulse. 

Coughing, Riolu pulled away and jumped back several feet to recover. 

“Mud Bomb again!” Milo shouted. 

As another ball of mud formed in Marshtomp’s arms, Veronica thrust out her hand. “Use Copycat and keep throwing!” 

Riolu dodged Mud Bomb, brown waves of light rippling off his body. Then the light solidified into a muddy ball, and Riolu threw it at Marshtomp, then prepared to hurl a second one. 

Marshtomp evaded the first Mud Bomb, which sailed over his head and hit a sand dune. Riolu’s Mud Bombs weren’t as large as Marshtomp’s, but Riolu flung them so frequently that the globs blocked any of Marshtomp’s Water Pulses and Mud Bombs. 

Using a close-range attack was impossible. Riolu was much faster than Marshtomp and would see him coming from a mile away. 

“Use Water Pulse and make it extra-large this time!” Milo shouted. 

“Deflect it with Force Palm!” Veronica yelled. 

Marshtomp hurled an enormous ball of water at Riolu, who thrust out his arm in one quick jab before the Water Pulse hit him. The shock wave repelled the Water Pulse and sent it flying back at Marshtomp, though it only soaked the sand under his feet. 

Now that Copycat had worn off, Milo figured it was safe to use a close-range move. 

“Rock Tomb!” Milo ordered. 

Marshtomp cried out, a giant rock materializing in his arms, only to fall flat on his face when his legs sunk into the sand as he lunged at Riolu. Rock Tomb broke apart, the shards landing on Marshtomp’s head. The more he struggled, the deeper he sunk. 

Quicksand trap. 

Milo had been caught in quicksand before, and he knew the important thing was that struggling only pulled the unlucky person under the surface. 

“Relax and don’t panic!” Milo called as Riolu bombarded Marshtomp with back-to-back Force Palms. Riolu teetered on the edge of the quicksand and safe area, taking time to charge up pressure behind his Force Palms before unleashing them on a weary Marshtomp. 

Marshtomp’s arms jerked slightly as the paralysis from a Force Palm kicked in. The quicksand was at his waist level now.  

“Alright, we’ve got him trapped and immobilized, Riolu!” Veronica shouted. “Let’s do one huge Force Palm for the final blow!” 

Riolu put his paws together, pressure building for one last strike. 

Marshtomp screeched harshly, a light blue aura surrounding his body. With a single sweep of his arms, several large Mud Bombs shot out and blasted the quicksand away. 

Startled, Riolu lost his concentration and the mud absorbed the pressure behind his Force Palm, the attack dissipating into thin air. 

“Awesome job, Marshtomp!” Milo grinned. He’d seen this power before when Sara challenged one of her Dr. Magnezone friends to a battle. Her opponent’s Dewott had defeated Nyx with two Razor Shells powered up by the Torrent ability. 

“Use Water Pulse and don’t hold back!” Milo shouted. 

Marshtomp gave Riolu no time to avoid Water Pulse, and the attack sent the Fighting-type skidding several feet until he came to a stop at the base of a large rock. The sandy field was doused completely, and Milo paused to empty out his shoe, which was almost filled to the brim with wet sand. 

A soaked Riolu used the rock for support as he faced down Marshtomp, then he lost his grip completely and fainted. 

Torrent’s blue aura faded, and Marshtomp collapsed too. 

Melissa waited for either Pokémon to stand up, but a full minute passed and neither one stirred. “Double knockout! Marshtomp and Riolu are unable to battle!” she announced. “You each have one Pokémon left!” 

Milo and Veronica recalled their Pokémon. “I didn’t know you had a Riolu,” Milo called to his former babysitter. “He’s really cute!” 

“Thanks, but flattery gets you nowhere,” Veronica teased. “I took a trip to Iron Island three months ago. Great training grounds for Fighting-types. Anyway, there’s a guy who’ll give trainers a Riolu egg if you can make it to a hard-to-reach location. And I managed it with flying colors! So yeah, Riolu’s my most recent addition.”

Milo grinned. “Well, since you’re kind enough to show me your new Pokémon, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor. Meet Kirlia!” 

He released Kirlia from his Poké Ball, deciding against a dramatic throw this time. 

“Very graceful,” Veronica smiled as Kirlia quivered in place. “You didn’t have Kirlia when we battled last time, right?” 

“We befriended him in Granite Cave,” Melissa said. “My Aron is Kirlia’s best friend.” 

At the mention of Aron, Kirlia crossed his arms. 

“We should really have them make up,” Zack said. “They had a disagreement over staying in the cave and coming with us and now they won’t talk to each other.” 

“You know Kirlia don’t naturally live in Granite Cave, right?” Veronica asked. “They prefer grassy areas. And Kirlia and its evolved forms don’t typically live in the wild. They thrive on human companionship.” 

Kirlia scoffed and turned his back to her. 

“Sorry,” Veronica said sheepishly. “We should really continue this battle. Fighting spirit, Meditite!” 

Meditite hovered in a meditation pose for just a moment before touching down on the beach. 

“Alright, last Pokémon inspirational words! Power comes from the heart and strong will stems from the spirit! With heart and spirit combined, we won’t ever admit defeat!” Veronica exclaimed. 

“Are you finished?” Melissa asked. 

“Yeah, I was thinking of making it shorter. It’s a work in progress,” Veronica shrugged. 

“I liked it,” Milo said, inspiration striking him. “Yeah, but Kirlia and I have stuff that you’ll never have! Like sweater vests, and backpacks, and...um, Zack!” 

“Please don’t drag me into another one-liner,” Zack sighed. 

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Guys, just start the battle. I’ve seen Dragonite Ball Z fight scenes move faster than you two.” 

“Magical Leaf!” Milo yelled.

“Send those leaves back with Confusion!” Veronica shouted. 

Magical Leaf flew back and forth between Kirlia and Meditite as if they were flinging many photosynthesizing ping pong balls at each other. Kirlia held his arm at the ready, while Meditite jabbed the air as she sent Magical Leaf in the opposite direction. 

Finally, Meditite divided the leaves into two groups and hurled the first one at Kirlia, who teleported out of the path of the first group and directly in front of the second. 

“Detect, then Meditate!” Veronica ordered. 

Meditite avoided another Magical Leaf with Detect, which put her behind a sand dune. 

“Teleport over there and use Magical Leaf again!” Milo shouted. 

Kirlia vanished and reappeared on top of Meditite’s sand dune, striking her with another Magical Leaf as she meditated. Meditite barely reacted, her eyes closed in concentration. 

“Force Palm!” Veronica shouted. 

Meditite flung out her palm, blasting Kirlia away with a Force Palm. Kirlia tumbled against the sand for a moment before lightly springing to his feet.

“Use Confusion on the water and fling it at Meditite!” Milo yelled.

Kirlia pointed to the ocean, raising an entire ball of seawater into the air. With his other arm, he separated a confused Magikarp from the ball and flicked it away. Zack screamed as the Magikarp landed next to him, and Diogee bit the Magikarp on its tail and dragged it back to the ocean.

“Sorry!” Milo called to Zack. 

“Nothing should have that many fins...” Zack shivered, huddling behind Diogee. 

Meditite grabbed hold of the water ball with her own Confusion, and Kirlia gritted his teeth as he grappled for control over it. The water ball hovered precariously between them, sometimes jerking to one side or the other but never making significant progress to either party. After several tense seconds, the ball finally inched closer to Kirlia’s side. 

“Break Confusion and switch to Magical Leaf!” Milo shouted. 

Kirlia’s eyes returned to normal, and the shock of her opponent cutting off an attack caused Meditite to pull her arms in to prepare another Force Palm. The water ball instantly hurtled in her direction, smashing into Meditite and her own Confusion attack stopped as she sputtered and coughed. 

Kirlia scored two Magical Leaf attacks on Meditite before she recovered from the seawater’s saltiness. 

“Detect!” Veronica shouted as Kirlia hurled a third Magical Leaf attack at Meditite, who vanished instantly. 

Milo pointed to a cluster of sand dunes. “Confusion on those dunes! Don’t let her Meditate again!” 

Kirlia leveled the sand dunes, but Meditite wasn’t behind them. Then Meditite appeared behind Kirlia, jabbing her palm into Kirlia’s side. Kirlia cried out, dropping to his knees as a shock wave passed through his body. A second Force Palm sent Kirlia flying into the water. The waves knocked him down as he struggled to stand. 

“Teleport back to the land!” Milo shouted. But Kirlia’s limbs didn’t obey, jerking uncontrollably as he tried to bring his hands together. 

“Alright, let’s end this! Use-Meditite, what’s wrong?” Veronica gasped, her command cut short as Meditite dropped to her knees too. 

Yellow sparks flew off both Pokémon’s bodies. 

“Milo, I read about this once!” Zack shouted. “Kirlia must have the Synchronize ability! If the opponent burns, poisons, or paralyzes him, they’ll get the same status condition!” 

“Never took you for a bookworm type,” Melissa said. 

Zack shrugged. “I had this whole phase where I wanted to be an Umbreon and I learned as much as I could about them. Don’t ask why. I was a weird kid.” 

Meditite stumbled towards Kirlia, each step slow and deliberate. She drew her arm back as she stood over Kirlia, who kneeled in the surf and glared at Meditite obstinately. Then Kirlia’s arms shot forward, grasping Meditite’s feet, which were half-hidden under the flowing waves. 

Meditite jerked back, pressure building against her palm. Then sparks flowed up her legs, suddenly turning into full-blown electricity that coursed into the rest of her body. 

Neither Veronica or Milo expected that. 

Milo had avoided Shock Wave throughout the entire battle, figuring that Kirlia wanted to practice it more before feeling comfortable enough to use it on an opponent. 

Water conducted electricity, and Kirlia had used that principle without hesitation. Even a weak Electric move could be amplified with a proper conduction source. 

Meditite fainted, her body half-lying on the beach, limbs still twitching. 

Melissa’s eyes were wide as she stared at the still-paralyzed Kirlia. “Meditite is unable to battle. Kirlia is the winner. The challenger wins the match,” she recited.

Milo pulled Kirlia onto the sand, then quickly popped a Cheri Berry into the Emotion Pokémon’s mouth, tossing one to Veronica so she could help Meditite as well. 

Now that his paralysis was gone, Kirlia sat up with no trouble. His eyes glowed blue for a moment, and Milo was shoved away from Kirlia. 

“Sorry,” Milo said. “I’ll give you some space.” 

“Well, that was something,” Veronica said once Meditite recovered from paralysis. “Surprising people as always. It’s a good family trait. You’ve really grown since I last saw you, and I don’t just mean that literally.” 

“I didn’t tell Kirlia to use Shock Wave like that,” Milo admitted. “I mean, it’s kinda underhanded.” 

Kirlia crossed his arms. 

Veronica grinned. “You call it underhanded, I call it a brilliant use of the environment. Pokémon can think for themselves too, you know. I mean, what’s the fun in battling if we just call out what we’re doing all the time? I always welcome surprises in my fights.” 

Meditite bowed to Kirlia. 

“See, Meditite thinks you won fairly too,” Veronica said. “And that means I can present you with the Knuckle Badge.” 

Milo took the boxing glove-shaped badge from Veronica and held it up to the sun to admire its sheen. Diogee placed his paws on Milo’s shoulders, rising to his hind legs to get a good look at the badge too. 

“Looks like you’re a fourth of the way there,” Melissa said. “That’s progress.” 

Aron popped out of her Poké Ball and rammed into Kirlia, burying into his side for a hug. Kirlia froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around Aron’s steel hide as well. 

“Thanks, Veronica,” Milo said. “I’ll keep doing my best!” 

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from a Murphy,” Veronica smiled. 

 

* * *

 

 

Milo and Veronica waited in the Pokémon Center lobby, allowing Nurse Joy to take charge of their exhausted Pokémon. Aron’s steel-coated head rested in Melissa’s lap, occasionally glancing to the door in case Kirlia came out. 

“Alright, here’s my contact number,” Veronica said, handing over Melissa’s PokéNav. “Just give me a call if you wanna chat or need some good old gym leader advice!” 

“I’m just glad you fought a gym leader who doesn’t live underground and smells like sewers,” Zack whispered to Milo. 

“So where are you guys heading next?” Veronica asked. 

“Slateport City,” Melissa replied. “They have all sorts of cool stuff in their seaside market.” 

“And a Contest Hall for Zack,” Milo added. 

“I think I’m a lot more prepared this time,” Zack said. 

“Well, I assume you’ll be stopping in Mauville City for your next gym battle,” Veronica said as she leaned against the wall. “Just so you know, I heard Clyde is retiring. So you might be facing someone totally new.” 

“Clyde retiring? Are you sure?” Milo gasped, sharing an alarmed glance with Melissa. 

Veronica nodded. “Yeah, he’s an odd guy. He always struck me as the type of old guy who likes to keep working.” 

“So you know this Clyde?” Zack asked. 

“Every kid in the region knows Clyde!” Melissa exclaimed. “If you ever have a broken toy, he’s the guy to fix it. Doesn’t matter if it’s electronic or a doll either. Milo and I brought so much stuff over for him to fix when we were kids. Though between you and me, he’s terrible with money.” 

“He specializes in Electric-types,” Milo added. “And his inventions really spruced up Mauville City.” 

“Last I heard, he was entering a partnership with some tech corporation,” Veronica said. “Maybe the plans fell through or something. I should really keep in contact more.” 

Milo and Veronica’s Pokémon swarmed them as soon as they were released, and the conversation was dropped. Diogee and Marshtomp climbed all over Milo, the former happy that his battling ban was finally lifted. Riolu hugged Veronica while Meditite bowed in greeting. 

Aron nudged Kirlia’s leg, gently herding him to Milo. Diogee and Marshtomp let Milo stand up. 

“We’re gonna be leaving Dewford soon,” Milo said. “You wanna join us?” 

He placed Kirlia’s Poké Ball on the bench and waited. 

Aron stomped her stubby leg, and Kirlia rolled his eyes. Then he pushed the button on his Poké Ball, disappearing in a flash of red light. Diogee, Marshtomp, and Aron cheered as Milo pocketed Kirlia’s Poké Ball. 

“Guess you’re stuck with us,” Melissa said to Aron. “Welcome to the club.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“Bye, Veronica!” Milo waved as the S.S Plunge pulled away from the docks of Dewford Town. “Keep in touch, okay?” 

“You bet!” Veronica shouted back. “See ya later!” 

Within minutes, Dewford Town was just a speck on the horizon. 

Melissa’s PokéNav buzzed, but she was too slow to pick up and the call went to voicemail. 

“Melissa, are you guys coming?” Lydia’s voice sounded strained. “We have a situation and I need you guys pronto!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes Dewford Town! I have been looking forward to writing Slateport City for so long! I have some fun stuff planned for that city!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: It’s surprisingly hard coming up with names for Absol.
> 
> Dr. Magnezone kinda rolls off the tongue better than Clauncherhunter. There isn’t a Pokemon with krill in the name, unfortunately. 
> 
> If anyone has played Black and White here, you’ll know that Bianca’s dad didn’t want her going out into the world. Richard Chase is pretty similar here.
> 
> When you have a crime syndicate that needs stopping, send children. Works all the time!


End file.
